Two weeks had gone by but I had not laid eyes on the baby. When I woke up, I made sure Clara told me nothing about the baby, not even the sex of the baby. I knew if I had even the slightest contact with the baby, I wouldn't be able to survive staying away.
Finally my job was done, my time in this house had expired. My time in Leonard's life had expired. It was time to return to my own life. I know I planned tp stay some months to get my body back in shape, but I changed my mind. I couldn't. I was perfectly fine now and I had to go home, to my mom and siblings.
So as I packed my bags with tears in my eyes, I kept hearing Leonard's voice in my head but I continued blocking him out. He hadnt even visited once since that day.
"Is this really what you want?" Clara asked for like the hundreth time.
"Its what I have to" I answered.
"What about what you want?" She pressed
"It doesn't matter" I said with pain in my heart
"Don't go Eva, you will regret it"
"I might, but I will get over it" I said and zipped by box closed. I was ready to go.
"Eva" Clara stood on front of me with tears in her eyes, "I'll miss you" she threw her hands around me and I hugged her back tightly.
"I will miss you to Clara" I admitted truthfully.
"Take care of the baby and Leonard" was my last words before I left. My uber was already waiting for me so I shoved my things inside and got in.
Through out the car ride, I just silently cried to myself while I kept telling myself I made the right decision even when it didn't feel like.
The car parked in front of my house, when I got down, I took a minute to stare at the building. How I missed home.
I dragged my things through the door just as Sofia and Daniel came screaming and running towards me.
I leaned down and wrapped my arms tightly around both of them. Omg I missed them so much.
"My babies, how are you both?"
"Fine, I missed you" Sofia said hugging me again.
"I bought alot of things for you guys" I smiled at them and handed them a bag each.
"Thank you Eva" they said in unison. I got up and noticed my mom staring at me. She looked so much better and healthier than when I last saw her.
"Go check them out in your room" I told them and they ran off leaving me alone with my mom.
"Mom" I rushed up to her and hugged her "I've missed you"
"Eva my dear, I've missed you too" she rubbed my back soothingly. I closed my eyes enjoying her comforting hug. I never realised how much i missed this until now.
"How was work?" She asked and my eyes opened wide, my heart skipping a beat.
I pulled away and looked at her, "I have to tell you something mom"
"I'm sure it can wait honey, you had a long trip"
"No mom" she gave me her worried look.
"Okay come here" she held me and we both walked to thw couch and sat down. I knew I would have to tell her someday so it might as well be now.
"I lied to you mom" I started, watching her reaction careful, afraid of what could happen.
"I didn't get a nursing job" her face fell instantly and tears welled up in her eyes.
"What did you do Eva"
"I became a surrogate" her eyes widened at me, then she looked down at my stomach. My chest tightened.
"thats why you were gone for nine months" I was silent, my eyes pleading. She then looked away from me.
"Mom" I rushed to my knees in front of her and hugged her legs, resting my head on her laps.
"I'm so sorry, please forgive me" my voice cracked.
"I warned you not to do anything stupid" she said and I felt her body shudder. I raised my head and looked up at her and saw tears rolling down her cheeks.
"I had no choice mom, I couldn't let you continue like that, I don't regret doing it" I rested my head again on her laps, "I know if I told you, you would never allow it"
"Oh my child" I heard the tears in her voice. "This is all my fault, I should be the one providing for you, I should be the one struggling to take care of you"
"No mom" I looked up again, "you already did that, it was my turn"
"Eva" she sobbed
"Please stop crying mom" I reached up and wiped her tears away, "I am happy now, its all over and we have enough money now, you are happy and healthy, that's all I wanted"
"I will never forget this huge sacrifice my child" she cupped my cheeks, "but promise me, no more" I nodded
"No more" I assured her.
Four days passed, nothing seemed normal. I couldn't stop thinking about Leonard. I couldnt stop thinking about the baby i gave birth to. Sometimes i would touch my stomach and realise it wasnt big anymore. I knew I would regret leaving but I planned to move on, although that didn't seem to be happening.
I decided to do a variety of things to take my mind off everything. I remember the doctor said I shouldnt do any hardwork and rest all the time but that wasn't helping me.
So I went grocery shopping, after getting all the things on my list. I paid and got out with my 3 shopping bags. Just as I was about the get a cab, I saw someone who I had almost successfully tried to forget.
He stopped and turned around to look at me. I walked up to him and the guy next to him gave us some space by walking away.
"Hi" it was good to see him, and know he's doing well. Although the feeling didn't feel mutual. He just looked me up and down.
"I see you have finally given birth" I didnt know what to reply to that. "I hope you are not expecting something from me" my mouth opened and closed
"Wait, you not thinking I would come back to you right?" I didn't recognize the words that came out of his mouth.
"Good" he plainly said. I didn't even know why that shocked me.
"Did you want something?"
"No, i already got what I wanted"
"anyways, congrats and I hope you happy with your new life" he said, turned around and walked away to meet up with his friend or whoever that was. I just stood there, my heart stinging from the pure rejection.
So right then and there, I realised that it was what I needed. I got my closure.
When I got home, I sat with my mom. I needed some motherly advice because I hadn't gotten that in a really long time. I hated to admit that I missed it.
"Mom I need to talk to you"
"Yes honey" she put down and phone and payed full attention to me.
I sighed, I didn't know exactly how to begin or where to start from.
"You are not happy right?" She shocked me by asking. "I have been watching you for the past four days honey, you don't seem as happy and cheery like you use to be. I know it has something to do with the past nine months, am I right?" I nodded. Wow. Never underestimate a mother.
"you know you can tell me anything" I bit my lip and looked down for a second.
"I cany stop thinking about him"
"The father of the baby?" I nodded. She sighed.
"Oh honey, what about kelvin?"
"He left me mom and now all I cab think about is how messed up my life is" I said honestly.
"You are an adult now, am sure you can make your own decisions when it comes to love, so just be with the person that makes you happy" she said.
"But he has cancer mom, he's going to leave me one day" her eyes widened at me, "he doesn't have much time" she sighed
"The more reason you should be with him now" I looked at her with teary eyes "Eva, carrying a child for nine months is not easy, now you know what that feels like, so am sure you know its hard to stay away from the fruit of your womb, especially because you not cut out to be a surrogate"
"Go be with him Eva, so you don't end up regretting. And be the mother to that child because no one will do it better than you" I blinked the tears from my eyes and hugged her.
"Thank you mom, I love you" I said
"I love you too honey"
After I finished with my mom, I went straight to Leonard's house. I was scared of wasting more time. I knocked on the door non stop until Clara showed up.
"Eva" she hugged me "I knew you would come back"
"I shouldn't have left, I won't do that again" I assured her and she smiled at me.
"Where is Leonard?" Her smile immediately faded making my heart skip.
"Leonard is sick Eva. He's been sick since the day he saw his baby" all the colors drained from my face and I froze on the spot.
The story is slowly coming to an end, I can't believe it.