Outlaws of Love

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Ch. 12 - Admire You



Cyrus took my hand in his and pulled me away from Nathan, glaring at him before walking away with me.

“What happened in there? Are you okay?“, he asked me once we were inside his car.

“Just drive, please.“, I said, my voice barely that of a whisper.

He did as I said and decided to not question me until I was ready to speak, if I was ever gonna be ready at all that is. Meanwhile, I was fully focused on keeping my emotions at bay, but it doesn’t matter how good I am at pretending or hiding, I can only do so for so long.

One tear slowly turned into three, and before I could stop myself, I had my face in my hands as I was full on sobbing.

I heard the car come to a halt, making me look up to see that he stopped at a red light.

“Xia, you’re worrying me. Tell me what’s wrong? Are you hurt anywhere?”

“Alright, I’ll tell you, but please focus on driving.”

For the rest of the drive until we arrived at the apartment complex, I spent it explaining to him the best I could through my tears about what happened back in school. I saw his grip on the steering wheel tightening at certain bits that I told him, making me remind him to keep calm.

“I’m changing him out of the class tomorrow and giving him a different chemistry teacher.“, he said in a angry but calm tone, not getting out from the car even though we arrived.

“You don’t need to do that, Cyrus. After all, running away from the problem doesn’t fix anything, I just have to deal with it like I always have been doing. He doesn’t really matter to me anymore anyways.”

“But look at the state you’re in right now, I can’t bare to see you cry like this.“, he said sadly, wiping away some of the remaining tears.

“Don’t worry about that.“, I said with a short laugh at the end. “I’m crying right now, yes, but it’s only because I finally did something I should’ve done back in middle school.”

“What, officially telling him to get out of your life?”

“No, confessing my past feelings to him and getting over it. It was long overdue, and it was eating away at me everyday so I’m relieved that it’s now finally over for good. I just want both me and him to move on with our own lives and for him to grow into a better person in the future.”

“I admire that in you, Xia.”

“Admire what exactly?“, I questioned, tilting my head to the side.

“You choose to forgive people who’ve fucked you over, even though it would’ve been justifiable if you didn’t. You don’t have any ill wishes towards them either. That’s quite admirable if I do say so myself.”

“Thank you.“, I murmured. “No one has ever said that about me until now.”

“That’s okay, at least I did. One day, I’m sure everyone will notice as well and will learn to adore you like I do. Until then, you can be my little secret.“, he winked playfully, trying to lighten up the mood.

“A-Adore me?“, I stuttered softly.

“Of course, what else would I do?”

“I don’t know...I just didn’t think I was someone that looked like people would adore them. I do look like a bitch 24/7 after all.”

“What other people see and what I see are two completely different beings babygirl. You’re actually a really soft and cute person who makes me want to protect them, but you also know how to get me riled up.”

“What do you mean by riled up?”

“Riled up as in you make me want to bend you over and fuck you til you’re shaking.“, he admitted, his voice lower than it was previously.

I choked on my own saliva and started coughing, feeling my cheeks burn at his sudden comment. Cyrus quickly started patting my back as he opened a water bottle for me. He was concerned, but I could also tell his face held nothing less of amusement.

“Sorry, I didn’t know I had such a strong effect on you.“, he said while cockily grinning.

“You don’t.“, I said back much faster than intended.

“Oh? Is that so? Then I can do more since you won’t be affected anyways.”

“No, don’t!”

“And why should I listen?”

“Because..”

“Because?”

“It makes me nervous, especially when you say things while looking at me like that.“, I admitted, turning more red if that was even possible.

“Looking at you like what?”

“L-Like you want me.”

“Fuuck, what are you doing to me, Xia?“, he groaned, pulling at his hair in frustration. “You’re so cute, it makes me want to ruin you.”

“You’ll have to work for that.“, I said teasingly, smiling faintly before quickly opening the car door and walking out.

I managed to get out of the car and take a few steps, but that was until Cyrus grabbed me by my wrist and pulled me back into his chest.

“And where do you think you’re going after saying something so inviting like that?”

“My apartment duh, where else would I be going?“, I asked nonchalantly.

“No, I don’t think so. You’re coming with me to my apartment.”

“What? Why would I go with you to your apartment?”

“Isn’t the reason obvious?“, he teased before proceeding to wrap his arm around my waist and tilt my head up so he could kiss me softly.

I closed my eyes and let myself get lost into it, until we both pulled away after a few moments.

“Come over in the evening after you’re done with your shift at the café. But make sure you wear some comfy clothes.“, he spoke against my lips.

“B-But why?”

Is it for the reason I’m thinking about right now? Damn, I didn’t think he’d be this bold. Omg, what am I gonna do?

"We’ll be watching a movie together and I’ll order pizza later.”

Oh, so it’s not because he wants to fuck or anything.

“So...it’s basically like an at home date?“, I asked, regretting it immediately after.

“It can be if you want it to be.“, he smirked and walked away nonchalantly, leaving me there flustered once again, my fingers grazing my lips and recalling what had just happened.

I went to my apartment and ate the leftover takeout I had from last night, before going to do my homework really quickly and changing into my work attire.


After I came home from work around 9:00 pm, I took a shower and changed into a pair of black leggings before sliding on a white hoodie.

I rang the doorbell to Cyrus’s place, hearing the door open up shortly after.

I was greeted with the view of Cyrus wearing grey sweatpants and a matching grey hoodie, a sight that I didn’t get to see in school since he was always dressed so prim and proper there.

“If you’re done staring, you can come inside.“, he spoke, snapping me out of my trance as I walked in.

“Wow you’re actually wearing some color....well kind of. I don’t think white is technically a color, but oh well.”

“Enjoy it while it lasts.“, I said, rolling my eyes.

“Oh trust me, I am babygirl.“, he said from behind me, the smirk evident in just his voice alone.

“What movie are we watching?“, I asked, seeing him join me on the couch with some snacks.

“I was thinking Five Feet Apart, it’s one of my favorites.”

“Oh my god, really? It’s my favorite too.“, I exclaimed. “But the ending doesn’t sit well with me though.”

“And why’s that?”

“I really wanted them to be with each other, it broke my heart to see him walk away from her, even if it was because he wanted the best for her.”

“Yeah, I know and I agree as well. But that’s just life you know? Sometimes loving someone more than you love yourself just isn’t enough, because there are situations where you have no choice but to let go.”

“You sound like you have a lot of experience.“, I said, looking at the screen as the movie started playing.

“Eh, something like that I guess.”

After that, both of us became silent and focused on the movie. I didn’t notice when, but at one point Cyrus had me cuddled up into him and there was a blanket covering the both of us. The snacks were long forgotten and the only things we could focus on were the movie and the presence of each other in the dark.

It was around half way through the movie when his phone started buzzing from the tea table in front of us, showing the name Nadia glowing on the screen.

Nadia? Who’s that?

“Sorry, I’ll be back after answering this call if you don’t mind.“, he said, but for some reason his voice sounded a little nervous.

“Yeah, of course. Go take your time.“, I said gently, deciding to brush away any questionable thoughts.

“You aren’t even dating him, Xia. Stop being so nosy.“, I quietly scolded myself.

A few minutes passed by since he left the room and I had the urge to go and check up on him, but I stopped myself. Suddenly, the movie was at the part where the song Don’t Give Up On Me - By: Andy Grammer started playing, and it took my mind off of him since I liked it so much. I started singing along and didn’t notice when Cyrus got back and stood there to listen to me sing.


I will fight
I will fight for you
I always do until my heart
Is black and blue

And I will stay
I will stay with you
We’ll make it to the other side
Like lovers do

I’ll reach my hands out in the dark
And wait for yours to interlock
I’ll wait for you
I’ll wait for you

‘Cause I’m not givin’ up
I’m not givin’ up, givin’ up
No, not yet
Even when I’m down to my last breath
Even when they say there’s nothin’ left
So don’t give up on

I’m not givin’ up
I’m not givin’ up, givin’ up
No, not me
Even when nobody else believes
I’m not goin’ down that easily
So don’t give up on me

And I will hold
I’ll hold onto you
No matter what this world’ll throw
It won’t shake me loose

I’ll reach my hands out in the dark
And wait for yours to interlock
I’ll wait for you
I’ll wait for you

‘Cause I’m not givin’ up
I’m not givin’ up, givin’ up
No, not yet
Even when I’m down to my last breath
Even when they say there’s nothin’ left
So don’t give up on

I’m not givin’ up
I’m not givin’ up, givin’ up
No, not me
Even when nobody else believes
I’m not goin’ down that easily
So don’t give up on me

Whoa, whoa
Whoa, whoa
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah

I will fight
I will fight for you
I always do until my heart
Is black and blue


"You should sing in front of me more often, I love it.", he smiled, making me flinch and turn to face him.

"You should've told me if you were standing there.", I scoffed, looking away to hide my embarrassment.

"Awww, is my little Xia shy?", he cooed, ruffling my hair. "The pizza's here by the way, I'll go get it from the building entrance real quick."

"I'm not little and I'm not yours!!", I shouted at his retreating figure, which started laughing at my words.

He came back with the pizza and some chicken wings, setting them down on the table in front of us.

We both began eating immediately since it was pretty late and we were both really hungry. I had a question I wanted to ask ever since he answered that phone call, and was hesitating, but decided to ask it anyways.

"Is everything okay by the way? You were talking on the phone for quite a while, who was it?"

"No one important that you need to be concerned about.", he said a bit colder than I was expecting, shutting off the conversation right there.

Wow, rude much?

"O-Oh, okay then."

Sensing the newly awakened tension, I quickly finished eating and thanked him for inviting me over, before saying goodbye and leaving.


//////

Author's Note:

Hey, guys. Sorry for the slightly delayed update. There was a really bad storm and it caused the electricity to go out in almost the entire state, and mine was gone for like five days, so I didn't get the chance to write the next chapter until now. The electricity came back for me last night so I'm finally back on track. - Venus <3

- Who do you think Nadia is/might be?

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