I don't know how long I was outside for in the chilly weather, but I couldn't feel my face anymore. The tears had long stopped, but the empty void in my heart just seemed to hurt more and more as the seconds slowly ticked by.
"Xia, is that you?"
"Blaine? What are you doing here?", I asked in an interested voice, my eyes blank.
"I...well I sort of asked Jay to give me your address.", he confessed, coming up to me and taking my hand into his, gasping when he felt how cold they were. "Oh my goodness, how long have you been out here for? You're literally freezing!"
"Don't know, don't care."
Blaine stayed silent as he observed me for a couple of seconds. His hand eventually went up and he traced my puffy under eyes with the bad of his thumb, making sure to be gentle.
"Have you been crying?", he murmured.
"Is it that obvious?"
"Why do you care all of a sudden? Stop acting like I mean something to you."
"Sis...", he breathed out. "I already have to live with the guilt of making your life worse for you, for the rest of my life. At least let me help you just this once?"
"By doing what, Blaine? It isn't something you can just fix for me. Besides, I don't want anyone's help or words of judgement and pity."
"You know I won't do that to you."
"Do I? Since when?"
"Listen, I know I probably won't be able to do anything myself to fix whatever it is that is bothering you, not that you'd let me anyways. But at least let me comfort you for the time being? You can vent to me and I'll listen, it's the least I can do for the sister that I never deserved."
"I'm in love with Cyrus.", I admitted.
"Cyrus? Why does that name sound familiar? I feel like I've heard it somewhere before."
"It's Mr. Moreau's first name."
"Woah woah woah, hold up. You mean to say that you're in love with our chemistry teacher?", he questioned, flabbergasted.
"Yeah, and funny thing is...I thought that maybe, just maybe, he felt the same way."
"And what gave you that thought?"
"We've been talking to each other secretly for a while now, and it felt like he liked me back just as much as I liked him."
"But then what changed your mind?"
"He accused me of cheating because of a small misunderstanding. Said I was a slut who went after guys to get what I wanted, and then moved on the the next person right after. But who would've known that those words were coming out of the mouth of a hypocrite?"
"Hypocrite? What did he do to you, Xia?", he asked, his eyes filling up with anger.
"He accused me of cheating and stormed off after class today, yet I was the one who was gifted with the beautiful scene of him on his couch with his ex girlfriend straddling him. Such a great surprise right?", I spat with sarcasm laced in my tone.
"I don't even know what to say to that. I can't believe that Mr. Moreau turned out to be such an asshole. I really wished from the bottom of my heart, that you would be able to surround yourself with people who made you feel loved and never made you cry like we did."
"Well I guess life has other plans for me, huh?", I laughed faintly, feeling my eyes burn again. "I really thought him and I could make it work between us...I didn't even realize when I started caring about another human being this much."
Blaine didn't say anything, but he simply hugged me and comforted me as I cried once more.
I hated the fact that I was being this vulnerable, and that in front of him. If it was any other normal day, I would've probably pushed him away, but as much as I wanted to do so, I simply couldn't.
Was it because deep down I still cared about him? Was it because I just needed someone there for me? Maybe it was both, but for the next hour or so, I sat there with Blaine, pouring out all of my emotions.
"What are you going to do now?", he asked when I stopped crying. "Like you'll still have to see him everyday in class."
"I just have to get over it for the remainder of the year, and ignore the fact that we ever had anything between us. That's the only practical option, isn't it?"
"But won't that be hard for you? To act like it doesn't bother you, when in really does?"
"Oh come on, you of all people should realize how good I am at hiding things when I want to."
"Yeah, and I wish that wasn't the case.", he said morosely.
"I have to go back to my apartment, and you should go back too. We have school tomorrow."
I stood up, wiped my face of any visible tears, and started heading back inside.
"Xia, hold on!"
"Yeah?", I questioned, turning around.
"Is there really no hope for me at all?"
"What you mean?"
"Will you really never give me a chance to be a proper brother in your life?"
I stood there, looking at the pavement and thinking to myself for a few moments, asking myself what I really wanted.
"Will you make me regret it if I do give you a chance?"
"I swear on my life that I'll never do something to intentionally hurt you again, and I'll always be here to protect you from now on."
"Give me some time to think things over and heal first. I can't focus on fixing our relationship if I don't do that.", I said, seeing him smile widely and attack me with a bear hug, making me smile too.
"Thank you so much, sis. I won't let you down again."
"You just said you'll do anything for me, right?"
"Search for another place for me to move in to, I don't want to live in the same complex as him."
After an agonizing two months, it was finally graduation day, and I had a bunch of mixed emotions to say the least.
I was happy and proud of myself and my friends for completing high school, relieved to be able to get out of Cyrus's sight, but at the same time I was upset because I knew that I'd probably never get to see Cyrus again after today.
"Guys, I can't believe we've made it this far. Even if only for a few months, this year was the best school year I've ever had, and it was thanks to you two. Thank you for accepting me and becoming my friends."
"Dang, since when is Xia this cheesy? I need to record this moment to keep forever.", Jay laughed.
"Shut up before I fucking make you."
"Can't both of you ever speak nicely to each other?", Livie snapped, surprising both of us since she rarely ever raised her voice.
"I didn't know that you could get this feisty, Liv.", I teased, watching her turn into a blushing mess before she stepped away to hide her face in Jay's back.
"Awww, look at you Livie, you're so cute when you're blushing.", Jay spoke, turning himself to face her as he squished her cheek.
"Nooo, but you're the cuter one though!", she protested, looking at him innocently.
"Ahem ahem.", I cleared my throat, squinting my eyes at the two of them in suspicion. "Is there something you guys need to tell me?"
"T-Tell you what?", Jay stuttered.
"You guys are dating, aren't you?"
"No we're not!!", they both said in sync.
Hmmm, interesting. Very interesting. Maybe things will work out between those two after all.
"If you say so...", I drawled, the smirk never leaving my face.
"Xia, stooppp.", Livie whined as she used both of her hands to cover her burning cheeks.
I laughed and was about to say something back, when I heard Cyrus's voice call me from behind.
"Xia, can you please come here for a little bit?"
Livie and Jay both glared at him, but I gave them both a look as to say, "Don't worry, I'll be fine.", before proceeding to follow Cyrus.
He brought us to a secluded area where there weren't a bunch of students, teachers, or parents, and looked at me for a few seconds without saying anything.
"Did you call me here just to stare at me?"
"No, I called you to talk with you."
"Then get straight to the point, Mr. Moreau."
"You finally graduated."
"Does that mean this is really the end? That I'll never see you again?"
He went quiet again, looking visibly bothered as he contemplated over who knows what.
"Is that all, Mr. Moreau? Because if you're done, then I have friends to go back to. It is our special day after all."
"God damn it, Xia. Stop fucking calling me that."
"What else would you want your student to address you as? Also, I don't think it quite suits a teacher to be cursing so freely like this."
"Is that all I ever was to you? Just a teacher?", he questioned, his eyes swirling with emotions I couldn't detect.
"Why don't you ask yourself the same thing, but about me?"
"Can't we try this whole thing again?", he pleaded.
"I don't think a heavily respected person like you should affiliate yourself with a lying slut like me, right? I don't have any desire to be with a cheater either. I guess this is how it was always meant to turn out."
"That's it? Why don't you even look the least bit hurt? Why am I the only one hurting right now, Xia?"
You're not the only one though.
"Why would I look hurt when I never was serious about you to begin with? And don't give me the bullshit about being hurt right now, when we both know damn well that you would much rather be with Nadia. That's why you went back to her, no?"
"Babygirl, please just listen to me."
You wouldn't listen to me when I begged you though.
"I would appreciate it if you kindly refrained from calling me babygirl, remember your place. Now if you'll excuse me, Mr. Moreau, I have friends to accompany and to celebrate with."