Outlaws of Love

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Ch. 18 - Feel Again



Five Years Later ~

“Hmm, which dress should I wear for tonight?“, I asked myself, going through my walk-in closet while internally panicking.

Tonight I was going to have a little get together with Livie and Jay since we’ve been too busy to hang out recently, so I was looking for an event appropriate outfit to wear.

After trying on multiple dresses, I finally decided on two separate options, but I still couldn’t choose between them.

“Xia!“, Livie called out, barging into my room.

“Choose one for me.“, I said, putting up both of the velvet mini dresses. “Light pink or dark green?”

“Well I’m wearing a pink dress so you should wear the green one. But that’s not the reason I came upstairs.”

“Okay, green it is. And well then what’s the reason?”

“This is the reason.“, she said, holding up my phone that I didn’t realize I had left downstairs in the living room.

“My phone? What about it?”

“There has been this one number that keeps on repeatedly calling you. I got fed up and picked up just now, and the guy keeps saying that he wants to meet up with you again or something like that. Who is he, another one of your boy toys?”

“Most likely.“, I responded, not bothering to hide the lack of care in my voice. “Did they say where they know me from?”

“No, but he said something about it having been a week since he’s heard nothing back from you. Is it Shaun?”

“Shaun? Oh you mean that dude I met at the club three weeks back? Nah, it’s probably not him, he doesn’t even have my number.“, I answered. “Give me my phone, let me check who they are.”

I took the phone from her and called back the most recent number, hearing the phone ring for a bit until a male’s voice could be heard from the other side.

“Hello? Is this Xia?”

“Oh, it’s you.“, I said flatly, recognizing them by their voice. “Why’d you call?”

“I was surprised when I woke up the next day and saw that you had already left without any notice. To be completely honest, I wanted to ask you if you wanted for us to get to know each other better...and maybe even continue with what we did last time?“, he asked suggestively, the smirk evident through the phone.

“Well there must be a reason that I didn’t leave my number, right? I’ve never kept contact with any guy after a one night stand, and I don’t plan on doing it any time soon. Nor do I plan on seriously getting to know anyone at the moment. We fucked once, and that’s it, don’t expect anything more than that.“, I said coldly and hung up right after.

“Who was it this time?“, Livie asked, slightly exasperated.

“I don’t really remember their name, I think it started with an M, but whatever. It was the guy I hooked up with during your engagement party last week. I think my phone number accidentally slipped out of my mouth when I was really drunk that night.”

“Will you ever consider finding someone and getting settled down? Your life is all set out already, you live in a nice place and have a well paying job as an interior designer too. But don’t you ever feel lonely and wish you had someone to come home to? Someone who you don’t go to for just satisfying your body’s needs?”

“I don’t need anyone, Liv. Kay, now let me get ready or else we’ll be late.“, I said casually, dismissing the topic before it got more serious.

After putting on the dark green velvet dress, I did my hair and makeup.

I went with a gold smokey eye look paired with a peachy nude lip color, and put up some jewelry that I thought would look nice with the outfit. Then I used my curling iron to give myself soft curls, spraying them with hairspray to keep them in tact.

Putting on a pair of strappy dark green heels, I realized that I didn’t put on any perfume yet and proceeded to lightly spritz my body with Pure Seduction from Victoria’s Secret.

I waited for Livie to finish getting ready as well, and then we both headed to a nearby, well-renowned pub called Emerald Skies.

As I stepped inside of the dim lighted pub, I was welcomed with a feeling of comfort, for this was a place I’d come to whenever I needed to wind down after a stressful week of work.

The place always had a warm and cozy atmosphere, but it also gave off sensual vibes, making it an alluring place for many.

I sat down on a stool in front of the bar and waited for someone to come take my order, seeing a cute guy walk up to me shortly after.

“What can I get you, gorgeous?”

“A Red Sangria, iced please.”

“Nice choice.“, he winked, giving a charming smile as he walked away to get my order.

A charmer, huh? We’ll see who charms who first, babyboy.

He returned with my drink and engaged in small talk with me, but after a little while, the only thing I could focus on was the sexual tension between the both of us.

But it was short lived because Livie came up to me soon after, with a look of worry plastered onto her face.

“Xia...I’m sorry, but I think I’ll have to go home right now. I know that it’s been like only thirty minutes since we’ve arrived, but I just got a call from Jay saying that he won’t be able to make it tonight because he suddenly came down with a fever.”

“Nooo, it’s okay girly, go home and take care of him. We both know his ass can’t take care of himself for shit, haha. Just take my car, I’ll call an uber.”

She said sorry once again and left, leaving me with my drink and a cute bartender who was keeping me company every now and then.

It was suddenly announced that it was open mic night today, making a smile appear on my face.

I genuinely loved coming here on open mic night. People from the crowd who sang, usually chose a song that would fit their current situation or mood, and that’s something I always found beautiful.

“Oh, hi Xia. It’s nice to see you again after like a month.“, Logan, the pub’s manager who was also a friend of mine, said while walking up to me.

“Hey Logan, and yeah I know. I’m sorry for not stopping by recently, work has been time consuming these days. How are you?”

“I’m doing pretty great, and you?”

“The usual. Nothing has really changed.“, I let out a breathy but melancholic laugh.

“You still haven’t fully forgotten him, have you?“, he questioned, referring to Cyrus.

Logan was one of the very few people who knew about Cyrus, because I was comfortable talking about my past with him.

"How can I? He was the first person who came into my life and made me feel again, even if it was for just a few months.”

“Okayy, let’s not talk about this then.“, he said, changing the topic after noticing that I was turning glum. “It’s open mic night, your favorite. Since you haven’t been here in a while, why don’t you go up there and sing today?”

“Hmm, I don’t know.“, I said in hesitation.

“I’m sure a gorgeous girl like you must have a sweet voice too.“, the bartender interrupted. “I’d love to hear you.”

Hearing them both trying to persuade me made me chuckle, but I ended up agreeing. I stood up and fixed my dress before walking over to the small stage and telling the music operator what song I wanted to sing.

I walked up to the microphone stand and squinted my eyes, trying to adjust to the lights fixated on my silhouette.

Once the music operator gave me a signal, I cleared my throat and closed my eyes, singing like no one else was in front of me.

Half way through the song, I felt my eyes start to water, but I pushed the emotions down and focused on my voice instead.


Feel Again - By: Kina Ft. Au/Ra

We were just kids and we didn’t know nothing
It didn’t make sense but it felt like something
Remember when I said that I loved you for life
Baby it wasn’t a lie
Right one at the wrong time
How’d we get here
Never saw it coming

You make me feel like I can feel again
You make me realize the story didn’t end
Didn’t know my heart could hurt like that
Everything was numb and just like that
You make me feel like I can feel again

Caught me off guard
You still know my number
When it all fell apart
Did you ever wonder
Maybe we’re meant to be
But we run on empty
We’re crashing cars again
Still there’s a hole in my heart
That you’ll always cover

You make me feel like I can feel again
You make me realize the story didn’t end
I didn’t know my heart could hurt like that
Everything was numb and just like that
You make me feel like I can feel again

You make me feel like I can feel again
You make me realize the story didn’t end
I didn’t know my heart could hurt like that
Everything was numb and just like that
You make me feel like I can feel again


I opened my eyes and silently giggled in happiness when I heard the applause and cheers from the other people at the pub.

Before stepping off of the stage however, I saw a familiar pair of amber eyes staring at me. My throat constricted as the feelings I pushed away all these years, resurfaced within just a small moment.


//////

Author's Note:

Just letting you guys know that the next chapter will be the last one, and there will be no epilogue. I loved writing this book and I'm sad that it's coming to an end, but looking forward to my future books. Leave your thoughts in the comments!! - Venus

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