Forbidden by Faith

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Sana Khan




A date! A date with Valor Lennox. How did that happen?

I was so relieved when he told that nothing happened between him and Violet. I know I am not supposed to be affected because we weren't together. He can do what he wants. But it hurt so badly when I saw her in his bed.

After the long chat we had, I finally decide to stop fighting what I want and give in to my heart's desire - Valor Lennox.

He's flirty, handsome, cute and so much considerate and gentle. No one ever in my life had ever treated me the way he did. Who would have thought this mountain of a man could be this sweet? I surely didn't.

Is it too soon to say that I am absolutely falling for him? Hard. I don't want to freak him out. We still have so many things to talk about. I haven't yet told him that I am pregnant. He makes me feel confident. I say and do things with him that I would never have dreamt of.

He opens the car door for me. And I slide in, brushing myself against him on purpose.

See? This is what I am talking about. I would've never done this before. This is all because of him. He makes me feel bold and beautiful.

Back at home, everyone made me feel unwanted because of my skin color. I never felt confident enough for anything. At last, I didn't care. I like myself for the way I am, and I am hoping that Val does too. I know that he likes me, but I am unsure if this is it for him or he will see me as everyone else, which is plain and mind numbingly boring.

He puts the car in autopilot mode and turns to look at me. His green eyes a shade darker. I know that look. "No."

"What do you mean by 'no'?" he asks, pretending to be too innocent.

"Autopilot or not, your eyes will be on road."

"Baby..."

"Unless you want this to be our last date."

"Fine." He huffs and then his eyes are back on the road.

"So tell me more about your religion." It still surprises me how he gets curious about so many things I am involved in. Last night I wanted to tell him about my pregnancy and get it out of the way so he could decide for himself whether he wanted this date or not. But he was so caring and concerned about me having a breakdown that he didn't want me to continue.

"Well, the religious practice of Islam, which literally means "to submit to God", is based on tenets that are known as the five pillars, to which all members of the Islamic community should adhere."

"What are these five pillars?"

"First one is Shahada, meaning profession of faith. It simply states that 'There is no God, but Allah and Muhammad is his prophet.' It underscores the monotheistic nature of Islam."

I look at him to see his eyes are still on road, but he is keenly interested to know more.

"Keep going." I smile at his enthusiasm before I continue.

"The second one is Salat- Daily prayers. We are expected to pray five times a day. We can pray anywhere as long as we are facing towards Mecca. The third pillar is alms giving, also known as zakat. As mentioned in Quran, we should share our wealth with those less fortunate."

"Are you getting bored? We can talk about something else. You know."

"No... No. Keep going."

"Okay. So the fourth pillar is fasting during Ramadan and the fifth pillar is pilgrimage to Mecca. All Muslims who are able are required to make the pilgrimage to Mecca and the surrounding holy sites at least once in their lives."

"When I saw you praying yesterday, that's second pillar?"

"Yes."

"So have you been on pilgrimage? To Mecca?"

"No. A woman under 45 are not allowed without a male guardian."

"I just have one more question."

"Sure."

"That prayer thing you were doing last night, you really have to do it five times a day? No exceptions?"

"Unless we are on period, we have to pray five times a day. There's a beautiful story about it though."

"Can you please tell me the story?" I can see his interest is piqued and I am far gone to refuse anything he wants.

"Okay. So our dear prophet Muhammed went on a night journey to heaven and met all the prophets from Adam onwards in different heavens, the last being the domain of Abraham. There, the prophet spoke directly to God. He commanded prophet to instruct Muslims to pray 50 times a day. That's 50! The prophet didn't question it."

"Then what happened?"

His eyes are focused on me. "Eyes on the road, baby."

"Alright. Please continue."

"But on his way back, Moses saved the day. He's famous for that." I chuckle before I continue, He told Muhammad to go back and request that the number be decreased, that the burden is too high, that he'd experienced human nature with the Children of Israel, and 50 is just too much, and it isn't going to work. The prophet went back, and the number was lowered to 45. Moses again told him to return and request that the number be decreased. The number was again lowered, but not by much, to 40."

"That wasn't much."

"Moses continued to send him back until the daily prayer was lowered from 50 to five. At that point, Moses still wanted to send him back, but Muhammad told him he was too embarrassed to go again, and the number remained at five."

I notice a smile playing on his lips, so I continue. "I would like to officially thank Moses for intervening to lower the number of daily prayers from 50 to five. Keeping up with five is tough enough." He starts laughing at my silly joke.

"My turn to question now."

"If you are about to ask me if I am religious, I would like to say that I am an atheist. But that doesn't mean that I don't respect others choice."

How the hell did he know I was about to ask him that? "Okay then."

"Does it bother you?"

"What? You being atheist?"

"Yes. And my long hair and my tattoos?"

"No, no and hell no."

"Those were some strong 'No'."

"Being in religion or not should be an individual decision. Our prophet's uncle - his guardian, took care of him and protected him all his life and was not a Muslim. It didn't mean prophet didn't love his uncle."

"You are too deep in your beliefs."

"Is that a problem?"

"No. You are mine. Sana. Nothing you say will change my mind ever."

I know I should tell him about my pregnancy and about my past. I know he deserves to know the truth and how much honesty matters to him, although I am dreading the outcome.

"Sana...sweetheart."

I am pulled out of my thoughts. "I am sorry. Were you saying something?"

"We've reached." He says and I look up to see we are inside the huge estate.

"What is this place?"

"It's one of our estate."

"You really are rich!"

"I am not just rich. If you have seen Richie-rich, you'd know I am ten folds of Richie -rich. But since I am very old man, I don't know if you are familiar with the work of my generation people."

I smile at his taunt, rolling my eyes. He is cute.

"So?"

"This place is beautiful."

"Are you impressed yet?"

"You know, you don't have to impress me with all this." I take his hand and place it on my heart so he could feel the way my heart races when he is nearby.

"This is all you. Baby. You make me feel this way. Not what you entail." I bite my lower lip and look deep into his eyes, hoping he can see the sincerity there.

He smiles a heart melting smile that makes me want to hug him, curl into him and never let go. But I am hesitant. He probably detects it when he pulls me into him. "I know you wanted to do this."

"How did you know?" I ask.

"Don't you feel this amazing connection between us. I feel you before seeing you in the room. I don't want to fight this. Neither should you."

I just kiss him on his cheek as a reply.

"Come. Let's get out and I will show you what I have planned for today."

He had arranged a picnic for us in the beautiful garden just outside the mansion.

"All meat items here are halal. I personally asked my head chef to oversee everything."

"This is all so sweet, Val." I am getting very emotional with his sweet gesture. No one ever made me feel so special. We both sit on the grass and he starts unpacking the picnic basket.

"So how many ladies did you get here before me to impress?"

"No one. You're the first and last." I liked to hear that. The man can make you feel like a queen and he sounds too confident.

"What about Violet? Was it serious between you two?" I ask.

"It was nothing serious. She was just a fling."

"Really? Because the way she was all over you last time in boutique... and yesterday at your home... looks like she's serious about you."

"Baby, there's no one else. She knew our arrangement." That last part made me realize I'm on a date with the playboy. What was I doing? 'Arrangement' he said. What if I was one too? I was never the one to judge anybody by the gossips. And with Valor Lennox, I didn't want to hold back, although in back of my mind, I knew this might fire back, tremendously.

"Is everything okay?" he asks, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"What arrangement are you looking with me, Valor?" I have always been a straight forward person and I didn't want to beat around the bush.

"No arrangements, no boundaries, Sana. I know I want all of you." My heart soars at his admission.

"What about those other women? I finally looked up your pictures on the internet." I had it looked up last night before my prayer.

"I just hire them to go on the events with me."

I can't hide my shock. "You can have anyone you want. Why hire them?"

"Thank you. But I have very little time to woo women. Except you. You are special. Besides, I don't trust women."

I lick my overly dry lips. His eyes go dark and I glance away. Looking into those hungry eyes will be my undoing.

"So... So you weren't with any of those women?" I blurt out. No women in their right mind would go out with him and not try to bed him. He'd be major win for anyone.

"I fucked them, if that's what you're asking. But I was never in a relationship with them."

I narrow my eyes, completely unable to process what's spewing out of his mouth.

"I never lie, Sana. I am never dishonest."

The smile that had me captive turns into a frown and his tone sounds irritated. "So, let me get this straight. You had sex with those women after paying them to attend a function with you? You know what that's called?" Disdain creeps into my tone.

He nods and grins. "I paid them to escort me to the events. Not for sex. That was their choice."

"Why did you call Violet yesterday?" He seems to think about it before carefully choosing his words.

"I needed it at the time to make my pain go away when I assumed what... what that Matt guy and you were doing."

"Matt's just a good friend."

"Then why did you go on a date with him?" he asks as I nervously twist on the edge of my top, absentmindedly.

"To... to get you out of my head." I whisper as our eyes meet and he gives me a goofy smile.

"So I was in your head huh?" He has this foolish grin on his face, and I don't want to boost his ego. But I also want to be honest with him.

"You consume me. You are all I could think of from the time I wake up and go back to bed. And you are what I dream of. You... you keep my nightmares away."

He moves from where he's seated and put his arms around me.

"Does my past bother you?" he questions, and I bite my lower lip, concerned that my past may bother him. What if he doesn't look at me the same way he's looking right now once he finds out that I am pregnant. I mean, who would like to be there for another man's child. I am not expecting him to take responsibilities, but my feelings for him are in knots and if he rejects me, then I will never be able to collect any pieces that's left of me.

"I ... I don't care what you did in past." I say, honestly.

"You don't huh? Then why do you sound jealous?"

I didn't sound jealous. Did I? My cheeks are flushed now with embarrassment.

"Hey. I like it when you get jealous." He smiles at me.

Stop thinking about what's going to happen and live in this moment with him, I chide myself internally. I can make precious memories for once in life by following my heart. If he ends up breaking it, it will probably be still worth it because I will never regret having him by my side for how much ever time it was.

He slowly moves from his spot and rests his head on my lap. I can't stop myself before I run my fingers along his jaw, while my other hand runs along his beautiful hair. I don't know why I keep doing it. I wonder if I had a chance of ever meeting him if my circumstances were different? I silently pray to Allah, thanking him for sending this man in my life. Maybe this is my reward for all that pain I have endured over the years.

We sit there in silence just enjoying the each other's company and the view when he pulls me down for a kiss. Oh. The way he kisses. It is just an innocent kiss, but I can feel my body on fire.

"C'mon. I will show you around and let's see you ride that motorcycle." He gets up and holds his hand out for me. I take it gladly. We walk hand in hand before we reach his garage.

I see so many collectible cars and motorcycles. I feel like my eyes are going to pop out of my sockets and he just chuckles at my reaction. Finally, he picks Royal Enfield so I can ride it.

"This is light weight. I don't want you getting injured."

"But..."

"No argument, Sana." He replies gently, but there is an edge in his tone. Bossy, domineering man!

He fits the helmet on my head and makes me wear knee and elbow guard too. I feel like a child being tended to.

"Ready to go?" I ask him as I start the motorcycle and it hums to life. I notice he has put on his helmet and sits behind me.

I increase the speed of motorcycle and I love the way the wind feels against my face. He holds onto my waist tightly.

And then, I feel his hands slowly creep inside my top.

"What are you doing?"

"Holding onto you for my dear life."

"I can't concentrate. Stop that." My mind is complete blank. I don't know what I am doing. All I can feel is his touch and his hot breath over the bare skin of my neck. I can't breathe.

"Val."

"Yes baby?"

"If I lose control over this thing, we are going to die. Please stop it."

"But I can't keep my hands off of you."

And then I feel his lips and tongue on my neck. "Tell you what... you can.... oh... Mmmm." I can't concentrate.

"Yes, my brave little lioness."

"You can...If you..."

"Mmmm... I like the way you taste." He growls as he nibbles on my ear gently.

I clear my throat trying to focus. "If you stop now, you can touch and kiss me where ever you want, later." He stops immediately. I look his reaction on the rear-view mirror to see his eyes turn darker. And I can feel his erection from where he is pressed against my back.

"Enough of driving for today. Can we please go back now?" He asks and I can't help but giggle. I know why he wants to go back.

"But I wanna ride."

"I will let you ride me."

"I am not ready for that ride yet." Having sex is too much intimate and I don't feel ready yet. What if I am not able to satisfy him? He has had a lot of experience in that department, but I am new to all of this. What if he gets bored?

"Okay. So there's other things we can do. Now turn back." He is trying to be stern, but it comes out as a groan. I never thought I would have this effect on any man, and I am feeling so good about the way I make him feel.

"Fine." I make a turn and we are back to the garage.

**********

The moment we get down from motorcycle, he pulls me and starts running towards the mansion. I can't match his pace. He's too fast.

"Val, I can't keep up with your pace."

"Woman. You are taking hell lot of time." He puts me on shoulder and starts running.

"What's the hurry Val?" I start to giggle now. He seems so impatient.

I am going to touch you and kiss you wherever I want.

"Did I say 'wherever'?"

"Yes, you did!"

"I don't remember."

We are already on stairs. He still has me on his shoulder. Every now and then, I notice maids looking our way and smiling at us. I feel myself flushed. I cover my face with my hands. We finally reach the room and he places me on the bed.

I am still holding my hands over my face. He closes the space between us and lift my hands from my face. "Are you shy my brave little lioness?"

I bite on my lower lip and lower my gaze. He life my face with his fingers. We are interrupted by a phone call. He groans irritated before picking up his cell.

"Hello. Andrew?"

I can't hear what Andrew is saying.

"I am fucking busy right now. Can I call you back later?" He ends the call and set down his cell phone. His gaze meet mine. He takes his time dragging his gaze from my face to my toes and back again. He saunters over like a wild animal hunting its prey. All stealth and smooth moves. When he reaches me, he slides his hand into my hair and his lips cover mine. He's gentle at first but increases the pressure, sliding his tongue along the seam of my lips. I open, and his tongue circles mine. I am lost in sensation of his kiss.

I feel his hand moving to unbutton my top. I put my hand on his chest and he stops.

"I..."

"Do you want me to stop?"

"No."

I don't know how I am supposed to say what I wanna say to him.

"What is it Baby?"

"I ... I am not a virgin. I've had sex once before."

"I don't care about your virginity. Besides, I promise I am going to be your last. And we're not having sex right now. Not unless you tell me that you're ready and you want it." I can't believe this man. He cares about my well-being and my opinion.

"I am sorry, but I am not yet ready for that level of intimacy between us Val."

"You don't have to apologize baby. I am a very patient man. But I am taking what I was promised." There is a cunning smile playing on his lips.

His lips are back on mine and he takes off my top between kisses. I rip his shirt open and the buttons scatter everywhere. When did I become so bold? He looks up at me breaking the kiss, smile curving on his lips, making me want more of him.

He fumbles with the button of my jeans. "Why the fuck did you wear this complicated thing? It has hundreds of buttons."

"It's high waisted jeans and it has only three buttons."

"You are not buying this kind of clothes anymore." He huffs and puffs, fumbling with my jeans buttons.

"Why... why do you want to unbuckle my jeans? I mean we are not having..."

I blush furiously when he rips open the buttons and pull my jeans down, while his other hand slides the strap of my bra down and unhooks the back, leaving me bare except for the panties before him.

"Because I can kiss wherever I want, and I want to devour your body. It should be worshipped." He lets out a ragged breath.

"You are so beautiful, and you are mine. Mine alone!"

I never felt this beautiful as I am feeling right now, under his gaze. But at same time, I am cautious about all the marks on my body which he haven't seen last night. The night of my wedding, my very first time, I felt hideous the way my so called "husband" had looked at me with disgust and flinched away seeing my scars.

Tears brim over my eyes as I don't feel confident anymore and I turn away from Valor, hiding my face in a pillow.

"Hey. What did I say last night? You are beautiful. Always remember that. If you look yourself through my eyes, you'll know I am not lying." I watch as he places feather like kisses along every scar. I pull him up and press my lips to his. He traces my lips with his tongue, and I grant him entrance to my mouth and our tongues collide.

"It's unfair that you are still fully clothed while am almost naked in front of you." I point
out to him.

He stood up and pull off his shirt and toss it away, hurriedly. He is standing there, on the edge of bed like a Greek God. His shoulders and chest are large, strong, and all sinew and muscle. And his entire body, full of tattoos. He has a perfectly defined V-shape with a trim and flawless abs. This man works out... a lot. A smattering of dark hair below his belly button trails down and dips farther into his pants. Oh my, what a vision!

"Are we even now?" he has a dangerous smirk on his face.

Before I could respond, he is back on top of me. Gentle fingers glide along my arm, shoulder, neck, hairline and down along my hip and naked thigh, waking something in me that I have never experienced.

The caress is repeated over and over, sending dizzying bouts of lust through every limb. The sensation is wonderful, and I roll completely onto my back, opening myself to him in the most vulnerable way. Val's large hands slips to my bare belly and covers the entire expanse. He's huge compared to me.

An errant thumb lightly circles the edge of my panties. My breath puffs out in tiny frantic bursts of excitement. I feel the heat of his head at the base of my neck as his neatly tied bun is hanging loose now, around his shoulders, his rough beard grazing along the skin of my neck. His teeth nibble at my chin in a line to my mouth. Once there, I take his lips into a feverish kiss, never having opened my eyes. His tongue demands entrance. I open for him.

In this moment there's nothing I want more than Val, over me. On top of me. Completing me.

He bites into my bottom lip, then moving to its twin. I groan, needing, wanting more. Finally, his hand slides to cup one of my full breasts. I arch, pressing the heavy flesh into his strong hand, relishing the tingling sensation that spreads through my chest. He moans his pleasure into my mouth. His fingers fondle my breast teasingly and utter relief splatters across my senses as he grazes his thumb over my aching nipple. Bliss.

Who knew there was so many ways to pleasure? I didn't. Now he fully squeeze and grope both my breasts greedily, flicking and tugging each tip, driving me insane and wanting for more. I pray he never stops touching them.

"Fuck, you have an incredible body!" He says as he pulls my right breast into his warm mouth. Sparks fly as the wet heat of his tongue sends a ribbon of pleasure down to the ache between my legs. I wish he'd touch me down there. It seems inappropriate to ask.

Heat infused my belly and I arc my hips against his straining erection, relishing the heavy growl that leaves his lips. I have read these things in a novel, but I never thought this feeling was real.

"Oh God!"

"God huh? I hear you usually say something else."

"That... that doesn't seem appropriate." He chuckles at my admission. Before I say anything else, he slips his hand into my panties and plunges two fingers deep into my wet sex. I cry out in ecstasy. His long fingers press high and deep, sending waves of pleasure rippling through me. This is exactly what I wanted. He pumps his fingers in and out of me as he circles just the outside rim of my clit, driving me wild.

"So fucking wet for me."

My hips buck and reach up into their air while my hands spread across the mattress, searching for something to grab on to. Anything that will keep me grounded to this earth. I twist the bedding as his mouth is back on my breast. He covers one nipple and flicks the tip, sending naughty little pin pricks to the center of my excitement.

"So good." He whispers and I whimper with pleasure as I gasp for breath. My head moves from side to side, frantically trying to hold onto this feeling. It's overwhelming and unique, just like the man who's giving it to me. Just when I think I can't take it anymore, his thumb presses in tight circles over my clit as his teeth bite down on my nipple.

Gone. Set off into orbit. Pleasure shoots through my core, light explodes behind my eyes, and everything seems quite. I scream his name as my body quakes and convulses in a blinding orgasm. Val continues plucking every one of my erogenous zones, that I didn't know I had, until there's nothing left but the automatic shake and twitch of well used muscles.

He kisses me with languid slow sweeps of his tongue and lips, his fingers still lodged deep within me, almost as if he doesn't want to leave my heat. I sigh as he gently pulls his hand from my panties. His eyes are so dark, it's like looking into a dark forest. With his eyes focused on me, he brings his fingers to his mouth and leisurely licks them clean of my essence. My eyes widens at his action.

"You taste so good, baby." He says and his lips are back on mine, as he kisses me deeply and I can taste myself on his tongue and there's something incredibly erotic and forbidden about it. Everything about Valor Lennox is erotic and forbidden. When we're both breathless he leans over me, his weight held up by the strong muscles in his forearms. I stretch, pointing my toes and reaching above my head until I feel relaxed and sated.

"Good?" He asks. His sly grin and cocky tone only make me want to jump him.

Then it dawns on me that he didn't get anything in return. He goes to pull away, but I reach out and grasp the obvious erection tenting in his boxer briefs. Oh my! He's big. I am not sure what I am supposed to do, so I gently run my fingers along his hard length. He curses under his breath and his groan make me feel confident about what I am doing is right. He stills my hand.

Confusion and hurt plays havoc with my frayed emotions. My voice sounds almost like a hurt child. "What about you?"

"That was for you, Baby."

"Thank you. You are..." I didn't know how to tell him.

"What is it, Baby?"

"You are the first man ever to do that to me." This is embarrassing. He looks confused.

"I thought you said you aren't virgin."

"I am not." Why were these conversations always awkward? Maybe because in our culture, it was acknowledged as hush hush and a bad thing.

"The guy... I was with, got in and out. I didn't know anything else apart from that existed. I mean, I have read in book, but I didn't think it was real." I don't know what else to say to him. His expression is unreadable. I further go on explaining, "It was one-time thing and it wasn't this intimate.

He holds me closer, still placing kisses on the crook of my neck

"Whoever it was, he sounds like an asshole and a complete idiot. I don't care about your past. You are mine now. He may have been your first, but I'll be your last."

I liked the way he staked his claim on me. I am his.

"Sana, stop running from me. From this. Whatever this is. I have never felt this way before. When you are not around, I feel hollow and empty."

He gestures between us. He waits for me to say something. I don't think he is going to move until I respond. Honestly, I don't want to run anymore. I take a deep breath, adjust my shoulders and look into his beautiful green eyes. I run my fingers along his cheek and finally say what he wants to hear.

"I won't run away from you anymore, Valor."

He smiles and pull me into another toe-curling kiss when I hear the voices. And then everything happened all at once and Val shields me with his body before covering us with the sheets from the intruders.
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