This last week was probably the best week of my life. Sana and I are dating. I love the way she laughs, that one sided dimple, the cutest obsessions she has, she is fucking competitive about so many things.
I took her to a tennis court two days ago as she told me she loves tennis. I witnessed a competitive side of her. She has to be best at everything.
The crazy obsessions I talk about is the way she is around little things. She doesn't let staff do the cleaning in her wing. If she's around, she keeps interrupting with their work. I don't think the cleaning staff will be staying any longer, they seem displeased. When she's upset or mad at me, she goes into a obsessive cleaning mode. When we reached home back from our first date, she cleaned the heck out of her place. I could see my reflection on floor like it's a mirror.
Honestly speaking, I am a little terrified of her.
Okay. A lot terrified of her. If my little lioness is this scary because she felt embarrassed as we were caught making out, I can't even imagine how mad she will get if I ever screw things between us. And I don't ever want to find out.
And she has everything labelled in her apartment including a label maker. I mean how cute is that. Her OCD reminds me of the time Kevin stayed with us, while we were younger. And she's stubborn as fuck. More stubborn that me. She doesn't take any gifts from me. I want to give her the world, but she just wants me. I can see that in her eyes. I am not allowed to spend money on her.
I know she's been trying to tell me something about her past and I keep changing the subject. I know it's crappy of me and I have trust and anger issues from past. But I don't want this irrational monster to get out of me and say something to her that I may regret. So in a way, I am preparing myself to hear whatever she has to say.
And today, when she knocked on my office and opened the door, her expression went from soft to crazy jealous angry lioness. She was in all glory. And the way she barged in and pulled Violet off of me was a sight to behold. At that moment, she looked like a goddess descended on earth.
Thank fuck that anger was not directed towards me. I did warn Violet and I was trying to disentangle her from my arms. I don't know what would have happened to me if she hadn't seen that. The way her mouth went firm and round with each word, warning Violet to stay away from "her" man. I got hard at the sight of her. I may have said million times now that she's mine, but this was her first time to claim me as hers. My heart is doing all kinds of crazy shitty things right now thinking about her. I get casually dressed and walk to her room not sure if my attire is appropriate.
Well I am wearing a white t-shirt with jeans and a jacket. Are we supposed to be wearing any specific attire for these occasions? I haven't attended any Holi festival when I was in India. But I know the men wear some lengthy top thing and trouser on most festive occasions.
"Sana, Is there any...?"
I stop mid-sentence. Fuck, she looks gorgeous. I don't even remember what I came to ask for, in first place. I can't breathe. I think I am supposed to know how to breathe, I just have no fucking clue how.
In few strides, I cross the room and pull her in my arms. I inhale in her scent. All mine. Mine alone.
"You are so fucking beautiful." My hands makes their way to her midriff, through no fault of theirs. I touch her belly chain that's been keeping me awake at nights. How much I want to kneel down and kiss her there, right on her belly button.
Her body is a traitor. She's melting under my kisses and touch.
"We are getting late." She tries to reason.
Somehow she convinces me to let go of her.
"Is there anything specific I should be wearing?" I ask her.
"This is fine." She replies as she pulls me down so we could be same height and whisper in my ears. "Although I would prefer you only in those tattoos."
Oh fuck. This woman is driving me insane. It's been a week since I have tasted her like i did on our first date. Even though we occasionally make out a little, I don't let her release me or touch me, even though it's killing me. She looked hurt and confused last time at our date. But I have assured her that when she's ready, she can do it. I don't want to feel her obligated
I open the car door and she gracefully slides in.
"So this festival, Holi? Do I need to know anything important? I don't want to look like an idiot." I say as I tighten her seatbelt. She don't fuss anymore when I do these little things for her.
"It is festival of colors. It signifies the victory of good over evil and is celebrated as a day of spreading happiness and love."
"So Muslims celebrate it too?" I ask her.
"I would like to prefer myself as Indian as I like all festivals." I smile at her comment. She's something else entirely. Sometimes I think I have figured her out, but she is still a mystery.
"Anything else I should know about?" I ask, as I drive.
"Well. They may serve bhang. I am not sure though."
"It is a mixture made by drying, grinding, and soaking the buds and leaves of the Cannabis plant to form a paste that's added to food and drinks."
"So basically getting high and playing with colors. That's some great festival." I laugh.
"Hold that thought. Your sister is coming and if you both get drunk; I won't be able to hold you both."
"My sister? Why is she coming?" I ask and she just shrugs at me.
"Well, as you remember, we were caught in your bedroom and she assumed we have been dating for a while and thought I am your girlfriend. I didn't want her to think I am a hussy and made out with you on a very first date. So I didn't correct her assumption. And she wanted to get to know me, so I invited her."
She's flushed now. Every time she accounts the incident of our first date, her cheeks get heated to the roots of her hair.
"Baby, you are my girlfriend."
Her big brown eyes goes wide at my admission. "I am?"
"What do you think we are doing together?" I frown at her.
"I know we are dating. But we never put a label on it, and I wasn't sure how you'd feel. Every time you change subject when I am about to say something."
She looks upset now.
"Baby. We are a couple. When I say you are mine, it's not for a day, a week, a month or a year. It's for lifetime. I will make you mine. Soon. Even when I am dead and long gone and you're still here, because I am old." I tease her, "you will still be mine. And if someone tries to claim you, I will come back as ghost and scare the bejesus out of them."
She just have a wide grin on her face as she lower her eyes shyly. I can't believe she would still be shy with me. After how I played her like violin.
"I will hold off on drinking."
"And smoking." She interjects and I groan. That's the only thing she hates. She hates me smoking.
"Valor!" My full name is being used. It's never good. But I like the way she fuss over me. I am falling for her. Actually, I am a goner.
"Yes sweetheart. No smoking."
The rest of the drive goes in silence. Me occasionally stealing glances at her, like a teenage boy would do with his first school crush and she's looking out of the window.
The way she told me how smoking is bad for health and the way she explained it to me was devious and manipulative. I just fell for it. Her explanation was that every cigarette reduces 11 minutes of lifetime and since I smoke a pack every day, which is basically 10 cigarettes, that would mean 110 minutes in a day. So roughly around 669 hours in a year. That's the time I will be reducing from my life, from spending it with her.
And I do not want to lessen my time here, with her. I love the way her mind works. She's too intelligent. And manipulative if need be. Not like those women who are always busy about how they look and have no brain or common sense.
We finally reach our destination. Before I could go around and open the door for her, she's already out. I want to treat her like a queen that she is, only she won't let me. I know she's getting used to being independent thing. But I need to sit down with her and explain it to her there are certain things I would like to do, and she can't deny me those things.
"Baby. We have discussed this before. I open door for you."
She looks done at her feet. "I am sorry. I ... I am not just used to all that. You treat me like I come from royalty. But I am not royalty."
"You are my queen. Sana. I want to treat you like one and that's non-negotiable. We will talk about gifts later." I add.
"No we won't."
Before I could respond to her, I see her friend coming up to us. She hugs Sana and the child in her arms is crying now, holding his hands out, trying to reach Sana.
"Maasi." The child cries, tears streaming down his face and Sana coo at him as she takes him in her arms, and he goes silent, looking at her and adoring her and hanging to every word she says. Just like me. She has her way with everyone. Truth be told, I never liked kids. But when my ex-girlfriend had told me that she's pregnant with my child, I had believed her foolishly. I was an idiot. Until I found her cheating on me and the child actually belonged to the man she was sleeping with.
When I confronted her and ended things with her, that's when she filed lawsuit against me saying that I abused her. I haven't told all this to Sana.
That's why I fear the conversation with Sana about her past. I don't know how I will react if she will say what I think she has to say.
I am brought back to reality when I hear my annoying little sister's voice. "Hello, dear brother."
"What are you doing here?" I ask Isa.
"I wanted to get to know Sana. She's so sweet. Also, I would like you to know that I broke up with my boyfriend. You were right. He was a sleazy fucking piece of shit."
I am glad that she broke up with him.
I see her look at Sana now, still busy with child in her arms.
"She's good for you brother. Don't you dare screw it up." Isa says.
"Why would you think I will screw up?"
"Because you always do. When things are going well, you panic and do something disastrous that will be unfixable and that's your pattern. She seems very pure at heart and you don't want to wipe that smile off her face. Do you?" She just says and walks away from me to meet up with Sana. They both hug and get on busy with cooing over the child.
What the fuck just happened? My sister met Sana only once before. Did they bond so well that my own sister threatened me? What is it about her?
I see Holt trio walk up to me. Steven, Matt and Christina. Steven looks friendly enough and Christina gives me a googly eyes when Matt looks like he just wants to punch me.
"What the fuck are you wearing man?" I ask looking at Steven.
"This is traditional Indian attire and this festivities are of great deal to Pooja. I would do anything for that smile." He looks at his wife, like a love sick puppy.
I turn to look at the trio when I notice Matt looking at Sana. The lust in his eyes is clearly visible. It's pissing me off. She's mine. I close my eyes, remembering her face... her voice... "I am yours Val. It doesn't matter who sees me. My eyes will always be searching for you." And I open my eyes and look around to see her eyes fixed on me.
We are all gathered around when Pooja comes and applies color on Steven's face. He just pulls his wife into a kiss.
I am in awe of these lighting and colors and celebrations.
"She looks happy. I don't know what's going on between you two, but I am glad that she has that smile on her face." Says Steven to me. I look at him before following his gaze to Sana. I ask him what's been on my mind for a while now. "You seem very protective of her. How long have you known her?"
"We did meet in India few times. She had helped my wife a lot, not caring about her own safety. I am very grateful for her help. I am just trying to help her in her difficult time.
I look at this beautiful woman dancing and laughing whole heartedly in front of me. Barefoot and anklets. She always puts others above her own needs... Another thing I love about her. But who puts her first?
I can tell she has endured a lot in her life. But she still lived her life to the fullest. She didn't let her past define her future. And she never showed her scars to anyone. The brave little Lioness.
"... So if you ever hurt her, my wife will go full Godzilla on you, and I am a little terrified of my wife when she's angry. So I will be supporting her." Steven continues.
I can only imagine. I am terrified of Sana too. My lips curve in smile imagining Sana's angry face.
I see Matt holding red color in his hand and walking towards Sana. He is about to apply it on her when she stops him. We are all looking at them now.
"You look beautiful, Sana." Matt says to her.
"Please don't apply color on me now. Maybe later?" She gives him a pleasing look.
"Why?" Asks Matt and She's locked her gaze at me.
"I believe it is said red is the color of love and I would like to start something great with you. Pooja and my brother seems so happy." Says Matt to Sana.
"Matt, I am not interested in you in that way. I am already seeing someone. And I would like if he is the one to put color on me first." Sana responds to Matt politely.
I am still looking at her when I hear Steven say, "Indians have some tradition about applying the color first on the person they love the most. That's why Pooja first applied color on me and I, on her."
Love? I know I have feelings for her. I care a lot about her, and I want forever with her. But is it called Love? The word feels unfamiliar. It's been so long since the time I thought I knew love. And the feeling I have with Sana, I've never ever felt it before. Not even with my ex. If that was love, what is this? Because this has stronger hold on me than what I had felt twelve years ago.
I am still looking at her. This amazing fiercely beautiful woman. Her eyes hold fire. She moves out of Matt's grasp and walks up to me and my heart is pounding in my ears. She holds the plate mixed with different kinds of color in front of me, giving me an option to choose the color I want to apply on her. I take a fist full of red color out of it, applying it on her face and I pull her in my arms, holding her waist and as it happens, the color from my hands are all over her waist.
She just places the plate back on the table and pulls me down to her height, tiptoeing on her feet. I am eager to know what she will go. Her face is covered with red color. Once we are face to face, she rubs each side of my face with hers, spreading the color on my face. It is just her innocent way of showing affection to me with everyone looking at us. She's showing everyone that she belongs to me. She knows how territorial I am and how much possessive I am about her.
Our gaze is locked on to each other and everything's fades. Then the moment is ruined with Matt.
"I can't believe this. Him? You choose him over me? A womanizer? A drunk? An abuser?"
I am fuming with anger now. How dare he call me that? I may have been a lot of things, but I was not woman beater. I was not an abuser.
The monster in me is taking over and I pounce on him, smacking him in his face. And he retaliates by punching me back. I am bleeding from my nose and he will surely have a black eye tomorrow. I leap again to hit him, stopping my fist in midair while it almost came in contact with Sana.
Why did she interfere? What if I accidentally hit her? She just placed her hand on my chest, and just like that, the monster calms down like a love sick puppy.
She turns to Matt now. Her voice stern. "We are friends Matt. I don't want to lose that. But I cannot be anything more than that. I've made that clear to you on several occasions. But if you continue this behavior, I don't think we can be friends anymore."
"Did you see how angry he gets? He cannot control it." Matt argues.
"But he did, Matt. He was fuming with anger, but he stopped. And if I hadn't stepped in, you wouldn't be standing here." Sana tries to reason.
"But..." She holds a firm hand in front of him, making him stop whatever he was about to say.
"I appreciate your concern for me. Just one question though. Have you seen him beat anyone?"
How the fuck she sounds so calm? Calm or not, her voice carries the authority. This is a same girl who I had thought was meek at first when she stepped into my office the very first time. That's her politeness. This is her. My brave little lioness.
He just nods "No" to her.
"Then don't believe the gossip crap. For the love of Allah, you're a doctor and one of my dearest friends. I don't want to lose you. But don't make me choose between him and you. He is important to me."
Now she looks at both of us. "You both need to apologies to Pooja. She did a lot of work to organize this and she was generous enough to invite us. This was very important for her." She is looking at us through slit eyes.
"I am sorry." I say.
"Sorry sis." Matt responds too.
"And now, you apologize to him for what you said about him." She looks at Matt, asking him to apologize to me.
"I am sorry, man." Matt comes and shakes my hand.
"Not good enough. Hug it out." She's firm.
We don't want to. But we don't have a choice. Steven is trying not to laugh and I hear him whisper, "I can't believe this. She's so tiny."
Behind him, I hear Christina and Isabel giggle.
"I wish Ma and Pa were here to see this." Says Isa. The ladies just walk away leaving us men alone after that.
After a while, I see her fully covered in color when she comes back. How can someone get more and more beautiful every time you see? And that anger on her nose makes my dick twitch harder.
We bid our goodbyes and leave after some time.
The entire drive was filled with silence.
I am terrified of what is going to happen today once we reach home.