Once I pull up in a driveway, she places her hand on top of mine. I look from our hands to her face, worried that she's upset with me and I let her down. But what I see is worry written all over her face.
"Are you okay?" She asks, concerned.
"I am fine, baby."
"I am so sorry that he called you women abuser." She knows how much it affects me.
"Why did you interfere? What if I had hit you by accident? I can't even imagine." I look away from her. I couldn't imagine hurting her. What if my anger had leashed on her in that moment?
"But you didn't." Sana interjects.
"What if I wasn't able to stop myself?" She places her hands on both side of my face, forcing me to look in her eyes.
"You didn't, baby. You are the one person in this entire world I can count on. No matter what, I know you would never ever hurt me, physically." She tries to convince me.
"Anger need not come out only in physical way. There are so many ways I am afraid that I may hurt you."
I remember the way she tries to communicate, and I keep avoiding it. What if... I can't think about it now. I will prepare a meal for her tomorrow and we will have that conversation. Whatever it is, I'm sure we will survive.
"Let's go inside now. I want to wash off this color before it gets permanent. I am starving." She says.
"Once we both get showered, I will cook something for you. What do you want to have?
"I am craving for peanut butter and jelly sandwich." She replies.
"At this time of night?" I ask.
"Is there a problem?" Sana frowns.
"No." I immediately respond.
She has strange cravings and weird food habits. What grown up would like to eat snack instead of real meal at this time of night? How can I forget two nights ago she had a craving to eat sweet mixed with a pickle. Who the fuck does that in the middle of the night?
Thankfully, she had it in her kitchen. Some Indian sweet called Gulab jamun. She mixed it with mango pickle and ate it. I found it strange;
"Since, I am not cooking, do you want any help washing off that color?" I ask, giving her one of my devilish smiles.
"No, thank you."
"Come back soon." I say as she tiptoes and places the kiss on my cheek before walking away.
I still keep looking in the direction she disappeared before going to my room to get showered.
I change into my boxer shorts and wait for her. Yes. We cuddle and I like to sleep next to her. We both keep each other's nightmares away. But we have been sleeping here, in my room since I changed every furniture in here. I love her place, but her bed is too tiny.
I hear a knock on my bedroom before she enters, wearing my tee. That's the only thing she has of me. She looks too adorable in that and I like her wearing my shirt.
"Hey baby." I greet as she enters the room
"Hi." She tucks the loose hair behind her ear. I can't still get over the fact of how shy she gets sometimes.
Her eyes travels all around the room until it fixes on my bedside table.
"Where did you find that?" She asks.
Oh shit. Her chain and lockets. I forgot to keep it inside after taking it off while heading to shower. I used to wear it every day. I know I should have returned it back, but it was something I had of hers and it would always calm me when she was not around and close by.
"The first night we met. It was struck in my jacket. The chain was broken, and I had it fixed." I respond.
"And you didn't return it back because?" She asks as she scrunches up her little nose in distaste.
My lips curve into a smile at her way of asserting dominance.
"I ... I have been wearing it. It calms me when you are not close by. I am sorry. You can take it back."
She picks up the chain, with both lockets. I know it was wrong to keep it with myself, but it hurts more that she picked it up, without considering how much I need her close to me and when she's not around, this is something that reminds me of her and keeps me sane.
She doesn't wear it on her neck though. She moves towards me and tiptoes. "Are you going to bow down a little?"
I chuckle as I take her hand and walk to the chair, pulling her in my lap. "This is more convenient." I tell her.
She unhooks the chain and put it around my neck. I just can't take my eyes off of her. Once she makes sure that chain is clasped tight, she holds the pendant which has Arabic versus on them.
"This has always protected me. I want you to never take it off. It will always protect you and take care of you."
And then she moves on to the pendant that has her name of it.
"It's your name." I cut her off mid-sentence.
"How did you know?"
"Translator from office."
"Anyway, this will make you feel I am always close to you. That I only belong to you. That I only lo..." She stops mid-sentence. Was she about to tell me that she loves me?
"You only what Sana?"
"Nothing. Let's eat that sandwich and then I want to sleep."
"Tell me." I insist. I can't believe I want to hear it so badly. I am sure it was "I love you". Why did she stop? Is she not sure about me? Did she think I wouldn't reciprocate the same feelings? Do I love her? Will I be able to say it back if she had told me?
I don't think pushing her would do any good. She just places the kiss on my neck. "I just love this tattoo."
"So, that's your favorite?" I ask as I smirk at her.
"Well, I haven't seen the rest."
She smiles teasingly before moving her lips to my earlobe and biting it gently. I inhale harshly. She looks up at me, concern filling her eyes. "I am sorry. Did I hurt your piercing?"
"Please don't lie Val. You look like you are in pain."
"You didn't hurt me baby." I take her hand and guide it to my rock-hard cock. "This is what you are doing to me. I just need another cold shower."
I kiss on her lips and head back to take a cold shower. I know she will let me know when she's ready to have sex. I am a man pushed to my breaking point. I am not sure for how long I can hold myself. I take a quick shower, jerking myself off thinking about her, the way she cried out my name last time when I made her come and the way she tasted against my fingers.
I come out of shower and her eyes move along my body hungrily. I see her swallow and turn away her eyes, occasionally stealing glances towards me from the corner of her eyes, blushing furiously. I smile to myself. My little lioness is very shy. She's coming out of her shell little by little, but that's just for me. She's very reserved with everyone else in office, including Andrew. I like that she's affectionate only with me.
"Wait. I have something for you." I go open my locker and get the box which I have been meaning to give her.
"No. Whatever it is, I can't accept it." She says.
"You gave me something. So I am giving a return gift. Please don't say no to this."
"This is beautiful, Val. But it looks very expensive. I can't take it."
"Sana." I warn her. "This is not up for discussion. I want to shower you with gifts and give you the world. Don't fight me on this one."
I unclasp the chain and put it around her neck.
"See that pendent? The key pendant on it represents that you hold the key to my heart." I take her hand and place it on my chest. "You hear that? It beats for you."
Her eyes shimmer with unshed tears. She wraps her arms around my neck and gives me a kiss. "I... I don't know what to say."
Tell me you love me. I wanted to tell her. My heart yearns for her to say those words to me. Instead I just tell her, "It's alright sweetheart. Come, let's go to sleep now."
I wrap her in my arms, and soon we both drift off to sleep.
I wake up to see that the space next to me is empty. Where did she go?
It's Sunday and the woman doesn't usually wake up before noon when it's weekend. I check the time and it's only nine in the morning.
I try calling her. She's not answering her phone either. Panic strikes within me.
I get out of bed and stride to the left wing. "Sana." I call her name. Still no response. I search for her inside the entire damn mansion before calling for my security to look for her.
Where the fuck did she disappear? I try calling her again and still no answer.
"Jacob!" I yell at the head of my security team. "Did you not ask her where she was going alone?"
"I apologize. Mr. Lennox. You didn't give any instructions as such." I curse under my breathe. I didn't think she would take off without leaving a note or text or letting me know where she is by answering her fucking phone. After that moment we had last night and after the past few days of dating, I thought things have changed between us for the better. Apparently not.
"I can, however, ask one of my guys to track her phone." Adds Jacob.
"That's good. Just let me know where she is." I say before I head to shower and get dressed.
I head outside to see Jacob waiting for me. Although, I don't take my team everywhere I go, they come handy in situations like this.
"Mr. Lennox. Ms. Khan is in NY hospital." I didn't wait to hear the rest.
In order to avoid getting stuck in the traffic, I take my Harley. I know my security team is behind me. I don't have patience to deal with anyone at the moment. I am terrified and out of my mind as various scenarios run in my mind.
Why the fuck did she go to hospital and why the fuck did she not say anything? I remember Matt coming to check up on her few days ago.
I have this mad rage building up inside me. The monster in me is loose and afraid at the same time. Why didn't she tell me? Or wake me up if she was sick? The least she could do was pick her phone.
This woman is going to be the death of me. I was sure of it. Once I find her safe and healthy, I swear I am going to put her over my knees and spank her. I loved that innocence of hers, but I am aware of how wild she could be. Her mischiefs and wild nature was just for me. And I was glad for it. I didn't want to share her with anyone. She was mine. And mine alone.
Once I reach the hospital, it wasn't difficult to figure out who she was visiting. I figured it out when I saw Matthew Holt's name on the list of doctors. I hurry to the wing his office was located, my heart beating wildly and terrified at the thought of her being sick.
I slide the door open and that's when I hear their conversation.
"So did you tell him yet?" I hear Matt ask someone.
"Not yet." I hear Sana say. What are they talking about?
I hear her friend Christina laugh as she respond. "You can just tell him that the kid is his, if in case you've already done the deed. Would save you a hell lot of trouble."
I feel my world come crashing down. My heart hurts. I feel like someone pulled a rug from under me. The pain and betrayal from past comes back. I don't wait to hear her response.
I wanted to barge in there and confront her. Instead, I head back to home. She lied. She betrayed me. The history was repeating itself. I was such a fucking fool to see anything beyond those almond shaped brown eyes and innocent face.
I WAS SUCH A FUCKING FOOL.
This time the hurt was in the form of a most innocently beautiful face and what I assumed as the kindest soul and I was probably tangled in the web of lies. Who knew what else did she lie about?
Does it matter? She too was like every other woman I was with.
I drive, trying to get the fuck away from everything and especially her. I don't know what I'd do if I see her now?
My mind is numb and I'm still trying to process what I heard. She's pregnant. She's fucking pregnant! And her friend was suggesting that she tell that it was mine?
Did she really think she could fool me?
I head straight to my room and lock myself. Horrible memories swirl inside my head as pain stings my heart. It was like waking up from dream. A part of me wants to ask her why she hid the truth from me.
I wreck through everything in the bedroom. It all smells like her.
I hear a light knock on the door before I see her enter.
"Oh dear! What happened? It looks like tornado hit in here." She jests.
"Where did you go?" I ask as I turn to look at her and stride across the room to where she was standing. I don't remember my voice being so cold and deadly towards anyone. Ever.
"Pardon?" She says. Her eyes go wide and she gulps, looking scared.
"You heard me. Where the fuck did you go?" I yell at her as I slam my fist into the wall behind her, causing her to flinch.
"I... I went to hospital." She says as she backs away and her back bumps into the wall and there is no escape.
"Why?" I ask. "Are you sick?"
"No, Val." Sana looks up at me. Those eyes. Damn those eyes that hold my heart and makes me so fucking weak. She's fighting her tears.
"What is wrong, Val? You are acting strange." Her voice comes out meekly and I laugh maliciously.
"You lied. You fucking lied to me, Sana. One thing I cannot tolerate is lies. Did you really think that you can fool me?" I ask her. She looks confused. She moves her hand to touch my face and I back away, trying to stay strong. One touch from her and I know I'll lose it to her. Believe whatever the fuck she has to say. I need to stay focused. She lied. I fucking hate lies.
"I should have been really blind to see anything past that innocent face."
"What are you talking about, Val? I don't understand. When did I ever lie to you?" Although I want answers from her and want to hurt her as much as I am hurting myself, I still want to believe those eyes and take her in my arms and never let go.
'SHE BETRAYED' screams the monster inside me. "Sana, I never for once thought you are manipulative or capable of betrayal."
"Val..." She stops herself from whatever she was about to tell, as her eyes drop to my hand. "Allah. You are bleeding, Val. Let me take a look and clean that first. Whatever got you upset; we can talk." She takes my hand and I snatch it away from her.
"I heard you talk with Matt and Christina." I finally tell her.
"I was worried about you and I came to hospital looking for you. But you know what I heard? You're Pregnant. You are fucking pregnant and your friend suggesting you tell its mine."
I take a glance at her and notice tears stream down her face. "Val... I... I meant to..." Her voice cracks.
"Was this your whole fucking plan? For once, I thought you were different. I didn't think you cared for money." I grab her upper arm.
"I don't care for your money, Val. You know it. And it's not that I didn't try to talk to you. Every time I broach the subject, you changed it. How was I to tell you?"
"Val... please. You're hurting me." I let go of her as I see her arm bruise from where I had grabbed her.
"Is that why your friend suggested that you say it's mine?" I throw away the vase as I pace, in anger.
"Val... Please." She follows me. "Did you even wait to hear what I told Christina. Besides, she meant it as a joke."
"Am I to believe that you were interested to trap Matt before I came along? When you saw that I am interested in you, you wanted to give it a go? Was I better option? Who's bastard are you carrying?"
"Enough! Mr. Valor Lennox. Now you are crossing your line." She hand gestures me to 'shut up' and I hear an edge to her voice, as I see her wipe away her tears and hold her head high. She looked like an angry Goddess wielding so much power. "I never imagined you to be such a shallow person. I am not going to stand here and be accused of something I am not. And after everything you said about me, you don't deserve any explanation from me." She continues. I am struggling within myself. Deep down, a part of me knows she's not like others. This is Sana. She's purest of soul. Another part of me is being rational as it doesn't want to repeat history itself.
"I should have known. This was a mistake. I will be out of your hair as soon as I can." She says and leaves the room.
I want to run after her. Hold her and apologize. I can't fucking breathe. How the fuck am I the one who did wrong here? I need to get the hell out of this place.