Forbidden by Faith

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Valor Lennox

It's been almost two weeks since I stormed out of my house. I didn't know what I was supposed to say or do. I needed to clear my head.

I have been avoiding calls from everyone. There's not enough alcohol or women in this world to make my pain go away. All I needed was her.

Monster keeps creeping out every now and then. "We don't need her. She lied. Like everyone else, she too was manipulative."

Somewhere, deep within me, there's a voice of reason trying to make me understand her point of view. I know deep down, she had been trying to tell me something the whole time we were dating, and I did change the subject every time, but that's because I had not told her everything about my past and I wasn't ready to tell her and now everything is fucked six ways to Sunday.

"No matter how much we miss her or want her, she did hurt us." screams the monster. "She knew how you hated lies and yet she did not put an effort in telling the truth."

Another part of my demon reasons, "Well, technically she didn't lie. She didn't tell me the truth, but that doesn't make her a liar. Besides, all signs were there. The way she backed away in corner shielding her stomach the first time I was angry and yelling. She was having morning sickness, and she was moody when it came to food."

The alarm wakes me up. I am soaked in sweat. It was a nightmare. I am too drunk to remember. I turn around to see her. She's not here. She's back home. I need to go home. What the fuck am I even doing here. California. So far away from her, my sweet innocent home.

"Good morning. Good you see you alive." I hear that dangerously calm voice across the room. I turn around to see him seated, in one of his sharp attire as always. Kevin.

"Kevin? What the fuck are you doing here?" I ask. Before I could get an answer, my phone rings.

"You should get that." Says Kevin.

For the first time in almost two weeks, I pick it up. "Pa?" I had hoped Sana would call me, but she never did. Not even once.

"Where the fuck are you? Do you even know what the hell is going on?" I hear Pa's yelling over the phone. I blink, trying to keep my focus on my phone screen.

"Get your shit together and come home. Now!"

"She deceived me." My voice cracks.

"Valor Lennox. I don't know what the fuck happened between you and that sweet girl. But, I have seen the enough in the world to see that she isn't the kind to deceive you. Don't punish her for something that happened in your past. Get here before it's too late and fucking fix it. Stop crying like a wuss."

"Fix it? Have you not been listening to me? I screwed up big time!" I yell, more to myself than him. I was internally struggling with all the mixed feelings I had.

"Valor. Listen to me. Get home now." It wasn't a request. The call ends before I can argue.

"I presume it was Uncle Alaric." says Kevin. Kevin - one of my best friend, ruthless businessman, but he was also like my brother and for a long time, we were best of friends before I met Dominic. I wish I was as half as composed as him. His dangerously calm tone always gave people chill. He was calculating and manipulative.

I wipe my face with both my hands. "Why are you here K?"

"I see that you still haven't learned to stay and fight your damn battles. Something gets fucked up, and you run, like you always do." Kevin points out. What the fuck did he know?

"What the fuck would you know about love? You've always been the cold ruthless bastard." I see the hurt flash across his face. It was just for a second and it was gone. Damn! I hit the nerve. But he'd never say that and show his weak side to anyone. Not even to me anymore. I remember the day Kevin changed entirely into this heartless being. It was the day his mother died. Now, to the whole world, he is only the ruthless business man who didn't see anything beyond his business. He didn't have a hint of scandal, not a gossip linked to his name. I fucking have no clue how he managed to stay that way. We were almost similar, and yet his affairs never made headlines.

"You are right. I know nothing about love. But I know that I wouldn't skip town leaving multi- billion dollar business to run on itself. There are hundreds and thousands of people depending on you."

"Andrew is perfectly capable of handling the business." I retort back.

"So, Is that it?" Kevin raises his eyebrow as he directs his question at me.

"Yes. K. I don't give a fuck about anything anymore." I reply back.

"Alright then. But I feel obliged to tell you this your personal assistant is beautiful, and my father wants me to ask her out."

"Over my fucking dead body you will."

"What's the matter Val?" Kevin asks as he continues. "I ran a background check on her. She's been through too much shit. It's heartbreaking what a person can hide behind the smile. Besides, she's beautiful, and exactly like me - disciplined. She would be a perfect wife."

I storm at him, "Kevin, listen to me and listen well. She's mine. Only mine." In the fit of my rage, I might have missed that stupid smirk on his face.

"You cold hearted bastard." I tell as understanding dawns on me and I let go of his suit lapel.

"Now you know what you want. Go get her. And this time, don't run. Stand on the fucking battle field and win that fucking war." He says in his very calm tone.

I just stare at him, baffled at his tactics. "Well, go on. Get dressed. I don't have all day to babysit you. Time is money for me." He says as he smoothens his jacket.

For once, I do as I am told. My head is hurting, and I am wrecking my mind, trying to come up with ways to beg for her forgiveness when I meet her. I just realized that I might've done too much of a damage and there may be no way she's going to forgive me. She will forgive me. Won't she?

I clean up and accompany Kevin to his private jet.

"I wasn't aware you were back from France." I tell Kevin as I get seated across from him.

"My work was almost done there. Besides, I get a call from aunt Nancy asking me to get to home as soon as I can. She said that she has an inkling that you flip out on the sweetest girl and haven't been in touch with anyone in the family."

I scoff at him. "She lied to me."

"Did she now?" Kevin frowns, again in a same calculating manner.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" I ask defensively.

"Val, I've known you all my life. You have unreasonable rage built up after that incident. You reach conclusions on your own and you don't give anyone benefit of a doubt. Whatever happened between that girl and you, did you ever give her a chance to explain or did you just accuse her and storm out of there? Every girl isn't going to be like your ex-girlfriend."


I ponder on what Kevin said. Deep down, I've known it was my fault. Once we land, I instruct the driver to take me home first. My home. Kevin insists on coming with me.

"I thought every second you are here; you are wasting that time to make your money." I say sarcastically.

"I am. But curiosity's got the best of me. I want to see this girl who can turn a man-whore Valor Lennox into dedicated one-woman man. Heard a little story of you unable to function from one of our common friends." Kevin winks

"Damn that bitch Violet." I curse.

Once we arrive at my place, I practically leap out of car before it stops and run inside house. To my home. The part of me dying to see her wins. She's my home. She's been my home since the first time I saw her.

"Sana?" No answer. The house is silent.


I run upstairs to the left wing. I knock on her door. Nothing. No response. I can't even hear those anklets.

I push the door and the place is empty. She's gone. The only proof that she lived here is her lingering scent.

I hear the monster in my head say, "You are too late. You made her cry. You made her feel alone again. You made her feel she don't deserve love. Guess what? She don't deserve you. She don't deserve this pain and she fucking don't deserve us".

No. No. No. She can't leave me.

"She can't leave me." I keep repeating it. I need to find her. I need to go after her. I dial her number. It goes straight to the voice mail.

"Baby. Please call me when you get this. We need to talk. I know I messed up big time." I was hurt and mad at her and myself to certain extent. That did not mean I didn't want her in my life.

I go back to the car and instruct driver to take me to office.

Once I reach the top floor, I rush to her cabin. She's not here. People were staring and I don't care. I probably look like a devil with dark circles under my eyes, with a ragged breath, and still reeking of alcohol to some extent with hair disheveled and scratchy beard.

I go to conference room where Sana holds most of her team meetings. I barge in and everyone looks up at me.

"Hey. Good to see you." Greets Andrew.

"Where is she?"

"Who are you talking about?" He quirks his brow at me. Siblings are nothing but pain in the ass.

"WHERE IS SHE?" My voice booms and everyone looks terrified. I can imagine the headline - "A billionaire businessman gone mad and is on a killing spree."

"I AM NOT IN A FUCKING MOOD FOR YOUR LITTLE GAMES. ANDREW ALASTAIR LENNOX. WHERE. IS. SHE?" Andrew tries to leave the conference room, trying to pull me along with him. But I don't budge.

"Will you please come out? Kevin, a little help here." Andrew pleads while Kevin is standing in corner, watching the drama enfold.

"Alright. That's it. Lennox. Come outside and Andy here will tell you where your girl is. Don't make me drag your butt outside with all your employees watching." I couldn't care less for Kevin's threat, although he was an inch taller than me and can drag me easily, with all that insanely build up muscles. But I wanted to know where Sana is. It was my utmost priority.

I follow them outside, hoping Andy would tell me where my angel is.

"Andrew. Where is Sana? Please tell me where she is?" I hear pleading in my own voice. I wouldn't mind begging too, if anyone would tell me where she is.

"She took leave for few days. You weren't here and she was sick."

"What do you mean she's sick? What happened to her? Is she okay?" I ask.

"How the fuck do I know? She said she's got flu and can't come in for few days. I don't know what happened between you two."

"Where is she staying? She wasn't home when I got there?"

"Well. She's not one of your regular fun play thing. When you storm out after a fight, good girls don't stay at their boyfriend's lavish home, waiting for him to come back and dump them.

I didn't dump her. I did something very stupid. I should have stayed and talked. I should have been there for her. But I panicked and might have said some harsh things. And then I left to clear my head.

"So it was you who screwed up. I knew it." says Andrew.

"Wait. Why are you talking like that?" I ask Andrew.

"Well, when Ma got worried, she inquired with Steven. He couldn't get anything out of her. She said you left and it was all her fault. That something she did."

I groan. Always putting others first. What a fucking asshole I was to leave her like that, with all that accusations.

"Where is she staying?" I ask again.

He gives me the address and I rush back outside. I hear Kevin calling my name. "Val, hold your reins."

"Whatever it is Kevin, it can wait." I say as I get in the car. He jumps in too.

"Val." He says and then stops himself. Once we reach the place where she's staying, I rush to her apartment building.

It's time to beg forgiveness and get back the beating of my heart home.


I can hear my heart pound in my chest. Its almost night time. I ring the door bell and wait eagerly for her to open it up.

Unfortunately, it is Christina who opens the door. "You? What the fuck do you want?"

"I want to see her." My voice sounds strange. Broken. Tired. And all I need and want is her. Once glance from her. Her in my arms.

"She's not home." She's about to close the door when I stop her by jamming my foot in between.

"Where is she?" I ask. I just hope I am not too late.

"She's gone out. Did you think she would be home, crying for someone who don't deserve her in the first place?" Christina smiles smugly.

No. I won't let her walk away from me. It seemed pointless asking for where they had gone with Christina. I could just get Jason to track her phone. I rush back to my car to see Kevin already had the location pinned on map.

"I won't even ask how you did that so fast." I mutter.

"I have my ways. You should know it by now." He replies back.

Once we are outside the restaurant, many questions run through my head as the doubts creeps back in. Who is she out with?


Although this place was exclusive, Kevin and I didn't have problem getting inside. My eyes immediately start to scan the place, trying to get a glimpse of her.

That musical laugh grabs my attention. My gaze follows to the wavy brown waist length hair. I cannot see her face, but I know it's her. I feel my heart is about to explode in my chest when I see who she was with. Matt. Of Course it was Matt

Without giving second thought, I storm to where she's seated, monster taking full control of my rage. "Well. You didn't waste any time to move on. Did you?" I curse myself the moment those words are out of my mouth. Fuck! I just made it worst.

Sana turns around. That beautiful smile on her face drops and although the lights were dim, I can clearly see her eyes are puffy and there is dark shadows under them. She's been crying, probably for days.

Those eyes. There's no mischief in those eyes anymore. But I can see many emotions in them. Relief. Sadness. Hurt. Anger. They've never been able to hide anything from me. They're gone before anyone could see them. She composes herself and look dead into my eyes.

"Mr. Lennox. What are you doing here?"

Why do I feel like this is going to be one hell of a war that I have to win. I feel like a child being berated. "Sana..."

Before I could go any further, she turns to Matt, cutting me off. "I am not hungry anymore. I just feel sick to my stomach. Can we please leave?"

"Sure, Sana." Says Matt as he signals the waiter to get the check.

"Sana... We need to talk." I tell her.

"Mr. Lennox. I am out with my friend. If you have to discuss anything about work, we can do that in office. I will be back on Monday." She responds and walks away, accidentally brushing her arm against mine and I could just whiff her scent and what I have been missing.

"Sana..." I grab her hand.

"Let go of me!" she says furiously as she snatches her hand away from mine. I am perplexed. I have never seen this side of her.

Everyone's watching us. I don't care. I lift her and hoist her up my shoulder as I walk outside, with her kicking and screaming at me.

Matt and Kevin follow, but I really don't give a fuck and I have lost my patience for both of them at this time. I slowly put her down once we reach the parking lot.

"Mr. Valor Lennox, You touch me again without my permission and I won't hesitate to damage that face. Also, you might be used to the gossips and attention, I am not. I am not interested to be linked with you in one of those gossip news."

"What are you talking about? I promised you there would be no gossips." I tell her.

"You said many things, Mr. Lennox. And you ran at first sign of trouble." I can hear her voice crack. She's not strong as she pretends to be. She's about to leave. I can't let her go. I see Kevin trying to hold off Matt. I grab her hand and pull her into me, keeping her locked in my arms as I graze my beard across her face.

"I messed up." I whisper, close to her ears. "Sana... Baby, I am so sorry. I fucked up, okay." I feel her melting under my touch, just for a second. And then she pushes me away. "Stay away." she says.

"Sana... I..." I rake my hand through my hair, feeling helpless. "I want to talk. Let's get this sorted. I can't... I can't imagine my life without you."

She raise her face as her almond shaped brown eyes bore into mine. "Is that why you accused me? Is that why you called my child - Bastard? Is that why you were in California, or Vegas was it, in a pub with two women?"

I close my eyes as the memories flood back in. I was drunk, in a pub. I also know that I didn't cheat on her. I haven't been with anyone since that one time I had sex in India before meeting Sana. I know I have hurt her. I want to make it right. It was foolish of me to accuse her. What have I done? I may have lost the best thing that happened to me.

"I.... Sana. There's some messed up shit I've been through few years ago before you came along. When I heard Christina say... I was hurt and it broke my heart thinking that you too are like every women I have been with. I was blind with rage...I also didn't cheat on you."

"I don't care anymore, Val. I don't just look into gossips or listen to half of the things and assume worst of people. Even..." she chokes back on her tears. "... even when I should, based on everything that's happened in past. Maybe... maybe something is wrong with me."

"I was a fucking asshole to accuse you and storm out, just when you needed me most. You don't have any flaws. It's wasn't your fault."

She turns around to leave. I grab her hand and pull her back into my arms.

"Let me go." She pressed her hands against my chest and tried to push me away.

"Sana..." I plead.

"No, Mr. Lennox. We are done."

"No. We are not." I say, not letting her go.

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