Last night, she left with Matt. I had to let her go. That did not mean I was giving up on us. I caused this mess and I am the one who needs to clean it up. I need to gain her trust back, prove it to her that I can be what she wants me to be.
I head back to my house. It's dead silent. How the fuck did I stay here all alone before?
I trim my overgrown beard and get showered before changing into trouser. I notice the chain I gave her as a present on my dresser. Fuck! I really screwed the best thing happened to me. I lay on my bed, all alone as my hand reach to her chain I wear around my neck. How did I let this happen? I can't feel her presence here. I can't sleep. So I get up and go to her room.
Here, her scent is present, lingering on my senses. I move to her tiny bed and lie down, inhaling her scent from her pillows and sheets, finally sleep taking me over.
I wake up on empty bed, without Sana beside me. I may have not realized it, but I was madly in love with her from the instant I saw those eyes for the very first time.
I have to get her back. No matter how long it takes. Today is a new day and I am hoping to get to talk to her and beg for her forgiveness. Hopefully, I could convince her and win her back.
I sit in my car, watching her from across the street through her apartment window as she's seated on the couch, tears rolling down those beautiful eyes. She's watching tv or maybe it's watching her. She just looks blank. I was the reason for that searing, heart-twisting pain on her face and seeing her like that, was breaking something inside me.
I knock on the front door, hoping that she would be the one to open it.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" asks Christina. Fuck! It seemed like an entire universe was against me this time.
"Go home Mr. Lennox. She's not home." Christina tells as she looks away.
"Who is it, Christina? What is going on?" I hear Pooja from inside the house.
"Please." I look at them pleadingly. I have never felt this helpless before. "I want to see Sana."
"You fucking asshole." Pooja jabs her fist right across my face. "Haven't you done enough?"
"I was just telling him that she's not home." Adds Christina.
"I know she's home. I just saw her through the window."
I start calling her name. "Sana."
Pooja goes back inside. I call her name again. "SANA."
"She doesn't want to see you."
"Did she say that?" I ask as I fear to know answer.
"Yes. She doesn't want to see you."
"I am not going anywhere until I talk to her. Please!"
"Pooja? It's okay." I hear her voice. It's just a whisper. My little lioness. She's on the other side of door. I wouldn't mind breaking it down. But the door slides open.
The changes in her features weren't visible to this extent last night. It was dark and I was more focused on trying to apologize for being such a dick. In the clear daylight, she looked more tired and she must've lost few pounds. Is it good to lose weight during pregnancy? Her eyes were baggy, and she had dark circles underneath. Looks like she had been crying herself to sleep. A lot.
She tries to smile, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. That wasn't her usual sunshine and flowers blooming smile. Her face didn't glow with that smile, and neither did that dimple appear on her right cheek, which I have come to love and adore.
"What are you doing here, Mr. Lennox?"
My heart tugs when she's being so formal and not referring me with any endearment.
I wanted her to call me baby or Val and jump into my arms like always, but she doesn't. She side steps and I get inside the apartment. I notice she has a tiny little bump.
I am about to hug her when she puts her hand in front of my chest and stops me. My heart aches for her. To hold onto her.
"What are you doing here, Mr. Lennox?" Christina is looking back and forth between us when Pooja drags her inside along with her.
"Please don't acknowledge me like that, Baby."
"I am on sick leave. Sir. I have Mary up to date about all your schedules and meetings. You didn't have to come here. I will be back on Monday, hopefully." She moves around while talking. Not looking at me. I know if I look into those eyes, I will see tears in them. She goes into living room, arranging and rearranging everything that's scattered around. That when I see what she was watching on tv.
Fuck. Not this again. My picture is on the news channel again with same shitty rumors.
She switch off the tv and goes into her bedroom and I follow her like a lost puppy and close the door behind me.
"You're in my room." She says.
"Baby, please. Hear me out."
"It is Sana, Sir." I get it. She is angry and hurt. She opened up to me, showed her vulnerability and I fucking walked out and accused her of some serious shit.
Finally, she looks up at me. Her eyes are filled with unshed tears. She's holding them in. Why haven't I noticed it before that she is stubborn as fuck. I have to gain back her trust and I know it might not be easy.
"You're bleeding." She says and I touch my nose to wipe the blood. It fucking hurts but not as much as the way she's treating me right now.
She walks around and goes to bathroom. I go behind her. She wets a towel and come outside. I follow her. "Baby?"
She points the chair to me. "Sit."
And I obey her like a good boy. She wipes the blood from my nose. That's the closest I have come to her in two weeks. What mattered was that she's mine and instead of being there for her, I fucking left. And the worst part was that I didn't come back for two weeks. Didn't call her. Didn't give her a chance to explain when she wanted to. I reached to conclusion based on my previous experience and assumed worst of her.
She is about to move away, when I hold her waist and keep her firm between my legs. "Let go, Mr. Lennox."
"I am sorry."
"Please, Mr. Lennox. Let me go."
"Will you stop that?" It had started to annoy me. I didn't like she was being so formal. She starts to struggle, and I ease my grasp on her and stand up. The moment I ease my grasp on her, she moves away from me, putting some distance between us.
"What are you doing here?" She finally ask.
"Come back to home, Sana."
"I am home, Mr. Lennox. This is where I live. At least until I can afford my own place." I hated the idea of her staying here with Matt. Yes, I was aware this is his place.
"No. I mean our home?" I tell.
"I don't remember you referring your place as "our home". I work for you and as you said and I quote, you need your assistant any time of the day to schedule meetings and take care of your busy schedule in order to reduce your workload, because you are very busy man."
"I am sorry for walking out on you. Let's please talk."
"No. I don't have anything to say to you. Now please leave, Mr. Lennox."
"You cannot just barge in here and demand you want to talk. You decide when you want to talk. You decide when you don't want to hear any explanations. You say I must stop running away from you and then you storm out, accusing me of the worst, without giving me an opportunity to lay the truth in front of you." She was yelling and in this moment, she looked like the goddess ready to leash her wrath, fiercely beautiful, and I was realizing how much she mattered to me, how much I was in love with her. She continues, "...and after everything you accused me of, there's nothing I have to say to you. You were the one who ran away. I didn't hear from you. You scare the hell out of me. Then you resurface in some news channel with some women and then you waltz back in my life, accusing me yet again for having dinner with a friend, who was just trying to cheer me up." She may have not noticed it in her rage, but she was standing closer to me now, jabbing her finger in my chest. Tears roll out from her eyes. Her anger emanating from her entire body, and I am the target of it.
"I am the worst." I tell her.
"Yes, you are."
"I was so fucking stupid." I mutter, pulling her into my arms.
"Hmm." She sobs.
"I am so sorry, baby. I freaked out. Something terrible from my past flashed in front of me and that's all I could think of." I kiss her eyes, sucking on her tear drops. "Please forgive me."
She doesn't respond, so I continue, "This is all new to me. I have never ever felt an ounce of this feeling with anyone that I have for you."
"I... I can't do this anymore." she whispers. My heart sinks at her words. I am not letting her go.
"I am sorry Sana. I regret walking away from you."
"I... I thought you... you just needed time to process. I was worried sick. I thought... I thought something happened to you. You accused me of being a gold digger. You accused me of choosing you because you were better opportunity. You called my child -Bastard."
"I..." She cuts me off.
"No. Let me finish, Valor." My name on her lips gives me a hope. I was ready to deal with her anger, but not her silence. She goes on to say, "When did I ever made any advances towards you? Did I try to seduce you? Matt and I have been nothing but friends. I never encouraged his advances because it felt wrong. He was the one who treated me back to health when I showed up here, all bruised."
"I am sorry baby." She's still in my arms. I keep her locked there with one arm, while my other arm moves to wipe her tears.
"You left me in lurch. Just like everybody else did. I can't do this. I don't trust you anymore. Please go home." I am still holding her tight in my arms, not letting her go.
"I am home. My home is where you stay. Baby." I whisper against her face, slightly brushing my lips against her cheek, making her shiver.
"Didn't take much time for you to move on." She mutters, pushing me away.
"First, my so called "husband" ran out on me and it turns out that the marriage was fake. Then you did."
Husband? Fake marriage? I feel my heart getting twisted at her words. I am unable to breathe. But did it really matter? Whether she was married or not, I cannot live without her. I close my eyes as I remember the first time I saw her. Those eyes looked terrified and she feared someone. No matter what she has to say, or what she endured, I was going to listen to her and earn back her trust.
"Can you please tell me everything from the start? I don't care about you being married or divorced or whatever that is. I am not running away this time."
I am greeted with radio silence. She turns away and I pull her back. "Baby?"
"Let go, else I will scream for help." With the mood she's in, I am sure she won't back out from her word.
"Scream." Those almond shaped eyes widens. She looks surprised. "Scream all you want. Hit me if that helps. But I am not going anywhere." She's trying to push me away, her hands on my chest. But I don't budge.
"Please.... You were the first person who I opened up to and you... you walked out on me. Just like everyone else did."
"I want to know what happened. Please tell me everything."
"Why? So you would flip out again, accuse me and run to the hills?" I wince at her words.
"Baby, please." I wipe her tears away.
"Baby. I regret what happened. I acted stupid. Please give me a chance to make things right."
"What was the point, Valor? At the end, you hurt me. After repeatedly saying that you would never push me away and repeatedly assuring me that you will be there for me."
"First sign of trouble, and you ran out on me. I have to look out for myself and I have my baby to think about now. I can't put my faith in anyone else again." Her hand goes to her tiny little bump and she smiles affectionately, wiping away her tears.
"Sana. I was an idiot. Please forgive me. I will gain back your trust. Please tell me what I need to do."
"We can't be anything more than boss and employee. We tried and it didn't work out."
"Please don't say that." My voice is croaked with pain now. "Not that. Anything but that."
"I don't have enough strength to deal with this. Please leave. I am begging you."
"Fine. I'll go now. I will give you space. But we are not over. You are going to tell me everything. No more secrets."
I open the door and walk out of her room. She's not ready to talk. Yet. But I will gain her trust back and this time I will stay. I will not walk away from her.
I never expected her to forgive me right away. I have known deep down she has a mean streak. Nevertheless, it was progress. At least, she was no longer acting cold. She was mad at me and I didn't mind bowing down in front of my Goddess and asking for her forgiveness, no matter how long it took. I call Mary to check on my upcoming meetings and the projects.
"Mr. Lennox. Ms. Khan has all your meetings rescheduled. I will sent your itinerary right away."
"Thank you, Mary." I am about to end the call when I feel her hesitate, like she wants to tell something. It never stopped her before.
"Mary, do you have something else to tell?" I ask her.
"I am glad that you are back, Mr. Lennox. It seems that you've reverted back to your old habits." I can hear judgement laced in to her voice. Great! I really didn't have patience for this now. Before I could speak up, she talks again. "But, I would still like you to know that Ms. Khan have submitted her one-month notice period."
What now? She was planning to quit the job?
"Why are you telling me this Mary?" I ask her.
"Boy, I am not blind. I know everything that goes on and how you behave around her. I've known since day 1."
"Thanks for letting me know Mary. I really appreciate it." I tell her before I end the call.
That old women was nosy as fuck. Of course she knew everything that goes inside my whole fucking company. Was I that obvious when it came to Sana?
I cannot let her quit. If she's stubborn, she has no clue of who she was dealing with.
My thoughts are interrupted with Andrew calling me. "Hello." I greet him.
"Hello brother. Are you okay?"
"I am fine. How's the cooper project going on? Any updates?"
"We are little behind on schedule. Shouldn't you be asking an update with Sana for that?" An idea brews in my mind. This way I can see her and talk to her.
"I guess I should. Talk to you later." I disconnect the call.
I dial on her personal phone, she doesn't answer. I dial again and her phone is switched off. I can't help but smile at her stubbornness. I dial on her work phone and as expected, she picks it on one ring.
"Mr. Lennox, Sir. If this call is not related to work, I will be hanging up." Her tone is sharp. All business.
"Ms. Khan. I need to know what's going on with Cooper project. And as you are the lead, please meet me at my house within an hour. I will send car to your apartment."
"I can come on my own."
"Company car is being sent, Ms. Khan."
The line ends. Did she disconnect the call?
***After an hour****
I hear a car pull by. I go outside to see her getting out of Uber. What the fuck? She didn't come in the car I sent for her? Her rebellious streak was giving me a hard on. How I wished to put her over my knees and have my way with her. I can just imagine that soft skin flushed. "Why didn't you come in the car I sent for you?"
"I strongly recall saying that I can come on my own."
"Why are you so stubborn?"
"I am starting to live my life, on my own. I am trying to be independent and not blindly trust anyone." Her sharp words cut through me.
She removes her shoes and walks into the study. I don't hear her anklets anymore. Did she stop wearing them? I remember how I had insisted that she not remove them while we went to play tennis.
I remember not hearing them last night or earlier. But my mind and heart was both occupied. After seeing her for first time in almost two weeks, all my senses were yearning for her touch, her smile and her love.
She goes about showing the charts and files regarding the progress of the project.
"Where it is lagging behind?" I ask her.
As she speaks, I notice the way her eyes move and the way she ties her hair in the bun when it falls loosely cascading around her waist. She is the sight to behold. So beautiful and I am in awe of her beauty. "So... Mark is not ready to make changes in app designing I have been asking for."
"Are you even listening to me, Mr. Lennox?" She sounds irritated.
"I am your boss. Ms. Khan. I can get preoccupied."
"Yes. You're my boss. I am sorry." She sounds hurt.
"As I was saying, Mark is not agreeing for the changes I have been asking for."
"Since when this issue is going on?" I question her.
She hesitates before answering. "I... I was about to tell you the week after Holi when we get to office." That's the last night we were together.
"I will talk to the team on Monday. You're the team lead. What you says goes on this project. Mark cannot question that."
"Okay. Is that all?"
Damn. I need to keep her here. "No. We have some contracts to go through. Are you hungry? I can cook something for us."
"No. Thank you sir. Boss cooking for a mere employee is highly inappropriate."
You are not a mere employee. You're my heartbeat, my home. I don't say it out loud. "Sure. Suit yourself." I say instead;
I know what to do. Cook her favorite shrimp pasta. She always loved my cooking, but she always insisted I make her favorite shrimp pasta.
Once it's ready, I take it to the study, placing it in front of her and start to serve myself. Every now and then, she inhales my food and I caught her peeking. Then she takes out her phone and start browsing something.
"You sure you don't want some? It's delicious."
"No. Thank you."
After some time, her phone rings and she go outside. I hear a car pull up and I peep out of the window. I see her talk to Matt, and he hands her the box after few minutes, before lightly kissing on her cheek and driving off.
Little vixen ordered food? That too shrimp pasta to be specific. She opens the box, inhales the scent and digs in, making me smile. Where will you get to see this pure innocence? Only my Sana was capable of such thing.
I pick the fork and I am about to take some food from her plate. I know this annoys her. I just want for her to open up to me again.
She swats away my hand with her fork. "Ouch."
"You know I don't like to share food, Val." Those words were like music to my ears. She finally called my name with endearment.
"You know how much I love to eat from your plate, Baby." She looks up at me and our eyes lock. I lean forward, giving her a choice to back away. Her lips parts and she moves closer to me.
I stiffen as her fingers brush against my throat, finding the hollow just above my collarbone. Slowly, her touch moves up my neck, gently grazing the tattoo she loves so much. Despite my best efforts, my pulse quickens under her touch.
I close my eyes and try to memorize this in case she decides never to forgive me.
I don't want to move. Don't want to spook her. I open my eyes to see that she's still looking at me, her fingers grazing on my cheek. Abruptly, her fingers freeze, and her eyes widen. She pulls away her hand but doesn't move away.
"I am going to kiss you now." I whisper.
Her eyes are filled with longing and desire. She have missed me too, maybe more than I missed her. While I was getting drunk and being an ass, she was waiting for me to come home, probably praying for my safety.
That's all I wanted to hear before I crash my lips on hers. I groan into her mouth when she takes initiative and slips her tongue inside my mouth, her fingers grazing my hair.
"I... I am so very sorry. Give me one chance..."
And she would have probably considered it too if not for my fucking brother barging in on us on a fucking wrong time. I am going to fucking kill him one of these days.