A Love From the past.

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Chapter 12

Chapter 12

The next day Joe calls again, and they keep spending the days talking, while Joe works. He spends a few hours with her, sending more pictures, and sharing everything he can with her. Being as honest, as he can.

Joe tells her stories that normally he wouldn't share with anyone. Some of them very personal, and some even embarrassing. He just doesn't feel that with her. For the first time, he trusts someone and can be himself, which makes him wonder and think to himself, why her? He feels the strong connection, they have and if he is honest, with himself it scares him. He knows he can get lost in this, that he can get too close, and may get hurt. That worries him.

Deeana lets her guard down around Joe, the strong ice wall she built up, slowly melts around him. She never thought that would ever happen. Always believing what her husband would tell her, that she was cold. He made her that way, his words, his actions. She just sees that isn't really her, with the right person, she is totally a different person. She is the person she used to be, before all the hurt, and pain-filled her. Taking away all the innocence, and good she used to be or even see.

Just with Joe, she sees things differently, things new again. Things she never thought she would want again, she now did. She saw herself as his wife, being remarried, being with him, till there dying days. She saw sharing all kinds of things with him, all the things they missed out on. She wanted the second chance.

Joe wants to redo all the regrets he has, which he says are a lot. He still can't believe how Deeana feels about him. He still wonders if it's all true? Does she really want all this? Will she leave her life for him?

Joe tells her if she does, for her to leave for herself and not for him. He doesn't want to be the reason her marriage ends. He also wants her to do this for her, in case their relationship doesn't work the way they want. He doesn't want her to have any regrets. As much as Joe wants this to all workout, he knows there is a chance it may not. Joe is an overthinker and knows there is a lot to lose, a lot to change for both of them.

"Would you ever move out of Philly?" Joe asks.

"Um...I don't know. I have a lot here. I like it here and I am used to it." Deeana answers.

"You don't like change do you?" Joe asks.

"No, not really." Deeana states.

"I understand, I don't either," Joe says.

"You ever think about coming back to Philly?" Deeana says.

"Yea, I actually have. I always thought If we would have stayed in Philly, my life would have been different. I just know that my parents wouldn't want to go to Philly, my mom isn't even into going there for a visit. It holds too many sad memories for her." Joe replies.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Do you miss it here?" Deeana asks.

"Yea, I miss certain things. I don't miss the parking though." Joe says with a laugh.

"Oh, I can understand that for sure. Its murder trying to get a space." Deeana responds.

"If I was to move there we would need a house with a garage. That way I don't drive three hours to get home to you." Joe comments.

"That's fair, as long as you would be willing to move here?" Deeana replies.

"Yea, It would be different, but possible. My job if it would close, the only other place for it is in Flordia. I was thinking of moving there." Joe says.

Deeana has panic inside her, feeling she may lose him again. She just keeps it hidden and to herself. This time, not running away, just facing it.

"Leaving me again?" Deeana remarks.

"No, I would take you with me. Would you go?" Joe asks.

"I don't know. I have my kids here, my mother. It would be hard to go that far away." Deeana comments.

"If you love me you will." Joe jokes.

"That's not fair." Deeana jokes back.

"Why not?" Joe says.

"Because I do, just going there wouldn't be easy. I don't like change remember?" Deeana replies.

"Yea I know. I get it." Joe answers.

Joe knows if he really wants this relationship, a lot of things in his life would change. Could he really move back to Philly? Would he really want to? It would be a small price to pay to be with someone you love, someone that finally makes you happy. Just thinking about it, and doing it, are two different things.

They both would have to give up a lot for this to work, or even take off the ground. It wouldn't be an overnight thing.

Did Joe really want the commitment? The change in his life, from doing his normal everyday things? Joe was a bachelor for the last five years, being able to come and go as he pleased. Without thinking about anyone but himself. He threw himself into his work, and he knew to be in a relationship with this job wasn't the best.

His last relationship already went through this. Her telling him, he was never around, and never spent time with her. Even though his last girlfriend wasn't satisfied when he did take time off to be with her, would this be the same way?

Joe thought about changing his job, maybe going into Real estate instead. If he could sell cars, he for sure could sell houses. It would at the start not bring in as much as he was used to. He would have to build himself up, could he do this? Would he want to?

Deeana was used to being a stay at home mom. Leaving her husband wasn't really a big change for her as she never spent time with him anyway and they didn't have a real marriage. The problem was her children. She was worried about changing their lives, to make her own a happy one. That was always a worriment even before Joe showed up.

If she did this, she was changing four other people's lives to make hers happy. He two children, Phill's and even her mother's. Her mother didn't really care and said do what you need to, what is best for you. You need to be happy. Just would her children feel the same?

How would Joe deal with being a single man for forty-three years, now to having two stepchildren? He says that he could handle it, that he didn't mind, but would he really? Would they be in the way for him? Deeana worried about that. She also knew that Joe was a good, kind man, that her kids having him in their lives would be a great thing. They would see how love was supposed to be. They would see a different side to it, or at least she hoped.

Deeana knew that this was going to be a hard choice, one she was willing to make. She just needed time, she just wanted to see how she and Joe were together before doing anything rash. Before destroying everyone else's lives, she had to know or at least feel this would work out, that it was worth it. That in the end, everyone would be ok.



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