Joe sits and thinks about everything, going on and on in his mind. This was driving him crazy. His want for her is like no other. He wants the love, and everything, they talk about, he wants to share his life with her, and build the love to the fullest. He has so many fears, in the back of his mind, he just needs to set them free. He sees she got quiet for a week but now is back trying to talk to him again. She always seems to show up when he is at his lowest, making him put a smile on his face. She is back, he sees she won’t let go, she won’t stop. She said she wouldn’t run and she isn’t. He knows she wants this so badly, and so does he. He wants to trust it and go with it, and he does. he emails her back saying hi how are you?
Deanna feels happy and relieved to hear from him finally. It was like a peace wash over her, knowing he is back. She missed him just as much as he missed her.
Have you given any thought about you coming here to see me?” she asks.
“Yea I have. I been working on it. You do know we can’t go back once we do this right?” Joe says.
“Yes and I don't want to. I want to be with you. That has never changed and it's not going to.” She answers.
“As long as you are sure about this?” Joe asks.
" More than anything I ever have been before.” She replies.
“Ok, I will come to see you. We will need a place to do this, hotels are not very easy to get to during the day.” Joe responds.
“Finally I get you naked? I know, there is an app that can help with that. They have day use, I am sure we can find one that works for us.” She giggles.
“HahA, Finally I get you naked. Oh really? Where did you find this?” Joe comments.
“I have no problem with that, I want to be close to you. I want to kiss you, and down your neck. I want to sit on your lap. Brenda told me about it, I didn't install it yet, but I will to see what it is all about.” She responds.
“We will see if you do or freeze. I will install it also, and take a look at it. “Joe laughs.
“I am not freezing, you will see. I want you.....and I am going to show you that.” She states.
“Ok. We will see. Being naked in front of me is going to be different than just saying it.” joe answers. “Is This just for sex?” Joe adds.
“No, of course not. It's more than sex you know that right?” She answers.
“Please explain,” Joes says.
“I have feelings for you, I want to be with you, see where this goes. I didn’t think of having sex with you till you came back into my life. The sex is to be close to you. I want a relationship with you.” She replies.
“ok, I was just making sure. I just don’t want you to get bananas after this. I just want you sure of this, in case things don’t work out.” Joe responds.
“I will be, promise. At least I can say I was with the person I really wanted to be with. No regrets, you told me you had so many of those. Now I am standing in front of you, willing to take the chance. It's up to you now.” She comments.
“True. I am thinking about it all.” Joe replies.
“You know what I want, what do you want?” She asks.
“I want to be happy.” Joe answers.
“So do I, and I think we can do that together, but we will never know unless we try.” She admits.
“Very true.“Joe states.
Joe and Deeana talk for another hour or so, Joe still has his reservations about it all. He stays away another few days but comes back, not wanting to stay away for too long. Joe says he will always be back, and Deeana is used to his distance and quietness to a degree. It does still bother her at times, but she knows and understands why he is in his head about all this. It's a lot to go through with.
"This can make or break your marriage," Joe says.
"The marriage is already broken, it has been before you came back into my life. I don't want him with or without you." Deeana says.
"And if we don't work? I don't want you to say this is for nothing." Joe replies.
"It's not for nothing. This is something I want, and either way, I am fine with the results. Either way, I want him out of my life, I been planning and working on it." Deeana states.
"Ok, then you get your own room?" Joe responds.
"Yes, and I can't wait to decorate it and have my own again. I am getting everything new." Deeana answers.
"I can't come over," Joe replies.
"Yes, you can." Deeana comments.
"Not for a while, I don't want to just show up with your kids there. We have to go slow." Joe announces.
"I know and understand, but after a while, you can come over," Deeana says.
"Yes, and I will, we will have to figure out a way to christen the room," Joe replies.
"I am sure we can find a lot of ways to do that." Deeana answers.
"I am sure," Joe replies.
They talk here and there, with Joe not staying away as long and making an effort, it was just a matter of time, till he would see her. He just didn't want to make a plan and get her hopes up, he wanted to surprise her when he knew he could actually make it to her.