Fighting for More

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Chapter 42

Sammy dried off, dressed and pulled her hair back in a messy bun. She grabbed her purse and went downstairs. She kissed her daughter and made a cup of tea sipping it slowly so as to not aggravate her stomach further.

“Gracie, go get your shoes, I need to drop you at camp. Don’t forget your tennis bag!” She yelled.

“Are you ok Sammy? You seem off…” Ashley asked gently.

“No I’m not alright…I need to take care of something. I’ll see you later ok?” Sammy said, smiling weakly.

“Call me ok? I’m here…” Ashley said, hugging her new friend.

Gracie came down and Sammy ushered her in the car and dropped her off and she ran off with Emma to the arts and crafts area. She drove off to the store picking up a pregnancy test and went off to work. She arrived and locked herself in her office upstairs and worked for an hour before she got up enough courage to go to the bathroom and actually take the test.

She wasn’t surprised when the two lines appeared on the stick and she sighed. If anyone had told her on March 1st that she would be pregnant with Jake Doogan’s child again she would have told them they were bat shit crazy. But it was actually her reality and she had no idea what to do next.

She sat at her desk and paid some invoices for the next week and then it hit her. She quickly found what she needed, printed it off and ran down downstairs to find her brother.

“Derek, I won’t be in tomorrow. There‘s something I need to take care of.”

“You ok Sis?”

“I’m not sure. I will let you know, ok?”

He pulled her in for a hug, “Love ya little one.”

“Love you too D…”

She got in her car and on the highway pulling up her phone, hearing it ring.

“Hey Sammy...What’s going on?” Ashley asked.

“Ash, I need your help.”

“Tell me, anything…”

“Can you get Gracie from camp, get her dinner and put her to bed? Then do it over again tomorrow?”

“Sammy are you leaving?”

“Not like you mean! I promise I am coming back, but late tomorrow night.”

“Ok, I will take care of Gracie…Where are you going?”

“To see Jake.”

“What?! Are you sure you want to do that?”

“Yes, I am sure. I’m on my way to the airport now. I need to talk to him.”

“Are you sure you’re ok?” Ashley begged.

“Can you keep a secret? You are the only one to know about this…”

“I promise…”

“I’m pregnant…”

“Oh shit Sammy!”

“Yeah, it’s a bit of a gut punch. I need to tell him face to face. Do it right this time…”

“Be careful. Call me if you need anything, ok?”

“Thanks Ash… I mean it…”

“I know…See you tomorrow.”

Sammy hung up and sped off to the airport. She went through security and was at her gate just in time for the last call. She got to her seat just as the door closed. She closed her eyes as they pushed away and took off. She sat the whole time trying to figure out what to say and how he would react.

She landed and came out to the taxi area and looked up Jake’s address, gave it to the driver and they sped off. It was a little bit after three o’clock local time. It took 40 minutes to get to his high rise and she went in and hit the button for the elevator. She rode it to the 6th floor, got out and looked at the doors until she found the right one and knocked on his door, taking a very deep breath.

It was quiet for a minute then the door opened quickly and looked up. He was stunned to see her standing there; looking just as beautiful as the day he left. She was stunned seeing him, in shorts and t-shirt and a towel over his shoulders and hair wet. They stood there staring at each other for what seemed like eternity.

Finally he blinked and cleared his throat, “Sammy…What…Why…Hi.”

“Hi Jake…Can I come in?”

“Oh shit, yeah, Sorry,” he sheepishly said as he opened the door wider.

She came in and he closed the door behind her. Sammy looked around at the very masculine furnishings and smiled at the pictures of Gracie and him on the shelves and her drawings hung up along with the horse sculpture.

“Do you want something to drink or to eat…I’m sorry I just got back from practice…I-“

“Jake, it’s ok. I know you’re not expecting me to be here, but I needed to talk to you. There is something I need to tell you and it couldn’t be done over the phone.”

“Is it Gracie? Is she ok? Or my Dad?” He asked with a panic.

“No, sorry, they are ok; both of them. This has nothing to do with them, this is about us…”

“I know I fucked up royally Sammy. I was scared…I have been seeing a counselor, trying to get a handle on my life. I have made so many mistakes and I don’t want to make any more. I want to be the son my father deserves, the father Gracie deserves and the partner you deserve. I want to be in your life however you will allow me. I see now that we rushed into this too fast, without ever dealing with the past. And for that I am sorry, truly, deeply sorry Samantha,” he said sitting next to her on the couch and holding her hand.

Sammy’s eyes welled up hearing the sincerity in his voice, “I know Jake. I gave in to the passion and I shouldn’t have. You came back and then had a daughter and jumped in with both feet and didn’t really come up for air. I apologize for letting it go so fast and not pulling back on the reins…I admit that I got caught up with you being around and loving me…I like having your arms around me again…your lips on mine…”

Jake’s eyes filled and he touched her face, “I never stopped loving you Sammy. EVER. You were always there; I just couldn’t face up to the man that I was meant to be because I was scared. So scared of being less than you deserved…Tom says that I can’t dwell on the past and my past mistakes, I have to learn from them and move on. Or the guilt will eat me alive, like it did when I left. I can’t let that happen again. I have too much to lose and I won’t lose you again.”

“What does that mean Jake? What do you see between us?”

“I will take whatever you are willing to give me. If that means that it’s a co-parenting relationship between us, then I will go with it. If that means that you want to try again with me to make a life, be a couple, then I will go with that. I love you Sammy. I really do. That is one of the few things I am sure of in my life. I love you and want to be with you every day for the rest of my life, to be a father to Gracie, to marry you and have more kids. I want a lot of kids with you like 7 or 8… What do you want Sammy?”

She got up and walked around the room trying to process what he was saying. Could he be telling her the truth? Could he really want her?

“But what about the woman?”

“What woman?”

“I overheard Kevin and your dad talking about some woman that you let back in your life and Kevin seemed pretty pissed. I remember him saying and I quote, “life sucking whore,” was how he described her…”

Jake’s eyes went to the floor, “I’m sorry…I was drinking and used her to try and forget you. Well that was before I started seeing Tom. I stopped drinking and I haven’t spoken to her in almost three weeks. I told her that it was over…”

“Ohhh… Thanks for being honest with me…”

“So you didn’t answer my question…What do you think Sammy?”

“Can I answer you before I leave tomorrow?”

“Of course! I’m sorry I didn’t need to push you…I’m just so thrilled that you are here…”

“Jake, there was a reason that I came out here…Something I have to tell you...And I am really nervous…”

“Don’t be nervous, Sammy. You can tell me anything Baby,” he said rubbing her arm.

She took a deep breath, nodded and looked at him, “Jake…I’m pregnant…”

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