“So that’s how that happened.” Lynne took a long drag of her lemonade, avoiding eye contact with Ava.
“Wait. Wait. Wait. Your answer to ‘what can I give my best friend for his birthday’ was ‘my good pussy?’”
Lynne’s head fell into her hands in embarrassment, “that wasn’t the plan. It just sort of happened.”
“His penis just happened to fall into your vagina?”
“No, that’s not what I mea-..”
“Y’all just fucking....like horny teenagers? With no protection? It just happened.”
“Jeez. With a mouth like yours, it’s hard to believe you work in Education. But yeah, that’s pretty much how it happened.”
“And you are how old Miss Missy?”
“Old enough to know better.”
“Yes you are. Shee-it. Who would’ve thought Miss Responsibility would be as human as the rest of us peasants.” She teased the younger woman. “I wish Keith’s penis falling into my vagina would just happen more often. It’s been so long."
“Oh shut it.” Lynne retorted as she shoved a fry into her mouth.
“Was the sex at least good?”
“Why are you acting so shy? I mean, I saw the guy dance so I know he has at least some rhythm. I just want to know if those hips can make you feel something.”
“Urggh. Fine. Yes. The sex was more than good. Much better than I’ve had in quite some time. I mean, we used to hook up in college when we were both horny and needed a release, but it’s been years since we were both single at the same time. And in that time he has definitely added a few tricks to his foreplay repertoire.”
“Way to go Lynne. You got to climb Mt. Zhang. So...have you told him yet?”
“No. I don’t plan on telling him until I have undeniable proof. I took two at-home tests but am giving myself the time to live in denial until I get my bloodwork results on Thursday. I have an appointment first thing in the morning.”
“Well. Good luck with burying your head in the sand, girlie. And when your bloodwork inevitably tells you that you are indeed expecting a bundle of joy, don’t tell him I knew already. You have a habit of being overly honest when you say things. I cannot see anything positive coming from you not telling your best friend/probable baby-daddy that he was not the first person you told you were pregnant.”
“Thanks.” They finished their meal catching up on the gossip of the week before returning back to work.
After leaving the doctor’s office the following Thursday morning, Lynne compartmentalized her emotions in order to make it through the day. Now that she had finally clocked out for the day, she sat lost in her own thoughts at her desk, staring at the sheet of paper on top of it. It was the results of her blood work that she had picked up on her break this afternoon. She could not tear her eyes away from the section that read, hCG level: 473mlU/mL. Dr. Madden had carefully explained to her what any level over 25mlU/mL meant before sending her home with pamphlets on her options and what to expect as well as a temporary supply and prescriptions for anti-nausea medication and prenatal vitamins. However, something deep inside of her had been warning her long before what now two at-home and one blood test had confirmed. There was no denying it now. She was indeed pregnant, a little over 6 weeks if her calculations were correct. The pair of sonogram photos with her name on them were tucked away in her purse. She couldn’t bring herself to look at them.
Her foot was tapping against the tile in her office, conveying all the anxiety that refused to show itself on her face. A multitude of questions had taken residence in her mind. The first of which was, ‘how could she have been so stupid and careless?’ She was damn near thirty. OK granted she was only 28, but the question was still the same. How could she-. No. They. She didn’t do this alone. How could THEY have been so careless?
“Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. All the intelligence between us, but so dumb.” She grumbled out, gently banging her forehead against her desk to accentuate each word. At the end of the sentence she kept her head resting against the blotter on her desk. A wry chuckle escaping her lips as a few tears escaped the corners of her eyes. Swiftly, she wiped them away.
Thankfully for her, the majority of her coworkers had already left for the day.
Knowing that she could not keep this news to herself, she whipped out her cellphone and sent a text message to the co-conspirator of the careless escapade.
Lynne: Hey jerkface, what are you up to?
It was a tense fifteen minutes spent nibbling on her fingernails before she received a reply.
Huan: You know, saving the world, one bedpan at a time. You?
Lynne: Keeping track of the money paid by the elite to keep their progeny educated and relatively entertained. You know. Thursdays.
Huan: You haven’t been embezzling any of that money dear Lyndy?
Lynne: You mean into my Swiss or Cayman Island accounts? No such luck. You’ll have to afford that operation to remove that third ball of yours on your own Mr. Hotshot, MD.
Huan: Why did I think you would look out for me that way? You are so selfish. Won’t commit a little felony for your best friend. It’s like I don’t even know you anymore.
Lynne: LOL. Keep dreaming. You still have off tomorrow?
Huan: Yes, and I plan on spending it with my favorite person. Sealy, my bed. We will spend countless hours rediscovering what made us fall for each other. Why?
Lynne: End your date with your bed early. I’m coming over after work.
Huan: I don’t know how Sealy will feel about that. We will have to discuss it. Seeing as how you plan to muscle in on our quality time.
Lynne: The two of you will make it through my visit. Trust me.
I’m not quite sure I will be able to make it through my visit though. Lynne told herself, glancing down at her abdomen.
Huan: Fine. I’ll see you tomorrow.
Lynne: You want Italian from Nico’s or Carribean from Mama Annie’s for dinner? My treat.
Huan: Oooooh. Why not both?
Lynne chuckled at his response. If there was one way to appease her best friend, it was through the endless pit that was his stomach. And with the conversation they were bound to have, she needed all the help she could to keep him positive.
Lynne: Both it is.
Huan: Score! Must get back to work. See you tomorrow.
Lynne: See you.
Dropping her phone onto her desk, Lynne shut down her computer and sat in silence for a few minutes before placing her hands on her flat stomach. “Hello little one. I’m one of the irresponsible adults that created you. Hopefully one day you will call me mom, not idiot. You are quite the surprise you know? What do you think your dad is going to say when he finds out about you?” She whispered before resting her head back against the cushion of her office chair.
Seriously, what is he going to say?