"Hey," I shouted at him, but he didn't look my way. He was looking straight as he walked away from me.
It looked like a movie scene. When everything's fucked up and a person chooses to let go, but the other keeps on persevering. She'll chase him, not minding if it's already causing a scene. But this was entirely different...and complex.
"What's your problem?" I shouted at him when I held his grip.
I turned to face him, but the moment I did, I wish I didn't. Because the memories of the night I left, came back as I saw Jano's face.
He looked like the Jano I left that night.
"Can we talk?" I said like a prayer.
"Are you serious?"
The tone on his voice sent shivers and fear to me. But when I looked at his eyes, amidst the rage, there was utterly sadness.
"You." Tears were forming in his eyes. "You were always my problem. Why did you have to return? Aren't you happy in Bantayan? Why do you need to return and add the pain you inflicted? Wasn't what you did three years ago enough? That you want to inflict more pain?"
I froze, holding back my tears.
Then, he left.
I didn't move. I remained standing, in the middle of a street, under the scorching sun, not minding the stares and murmurs of the passersby. I looked like a dumb little fool, but I guess I always have been one.
I wanted to cry, to scream, to shout. Anything. Just to lessen the pain, to lessen the burden of watching everyone go without doing nothing.
But the words left my mouth. Just like my heart who went with Jano.