I had almost given up hope that Clay would want to see me again. Shin and I had kept in contact since that night, even if it was only via phone calls, sometimes at weird hours of the night. I understood that Shin worked strange hours as he was a Reaper after all.
So I answered each and every call, hoping that Shin would say that Clay finally wanted to see me again. I wanted to hear how Clay's mind was progressing, age wise. Shin would always update me.
It was a wet, cold Monday night in August five months after I had broken Clay's heart that I got the long awaited call from Shin.
Shin told me that Clay was willing to see me again, but it had to be at a cafe that had a view of the beach and behind it a massive park filled with Fig tree's.
I think I knew where the cafe was, I had visited it a few times in the past.The fig tree's were over one hundred years old, their trunks broad and twisted.
I had to promise Clay that I'd bring Ellie with me. After I had agreed to Clay's terms, Shin gave me the time, day, and the name of the cafe in which we were to meet; Saturday at eight thirty in the morning at a cafe called Sally's. It was the exact cafe I had been before.
On Friday night I excitedly set my alarm, and got into bed, Ellie jumped up and I threw a blanket over her as she snuggled into a little ball.
My heart was beating quickly as I tried to settle for the night. I struggled to sleep. I just couldn't contain my excitement, I wanted to see Clay again. I laid in bed and looked at the ceiling, intermittent flashes of light played across the white plaster as an occassional car or bike drove past. My mind wandered back to the conversation I had with Shin earlier that evening.
Shin told me that he felt Clay's mind had matured to that of a teenager, probably around sixteen years old and Clay's attitude also matched. Clay was rebeling against Shin's rules, and was just being generally difficult to deal with. I hoped that Clay would not be in a mood when I met him at the Cafe.
Morning arrived and soon Ellie and I were piled in my car and yes I've always owned a car. I found public transport or a taxi to be an easier option than driving to work every day and spending an additional thirty minutes trying to find a park, which I had to pay for anyway.
To get to the cafe I had to travel through an industrial estate, past some coal terminals, across a long bridge and down a thin little road with the ocean on the right and grassy hills on the left, until I reached the park which wasn't far from the main street.
The area was beautiful and reminded me of a small coastal town. However, I dreaded how the area would look five years from now, just like all suburbs in the city I lived, expansion by building overcrowded housing estates was on the rise, this suburb would not escape development.
I found a park easily, I hoisted an excited Ellie out of the backseat. I was relieved that the Cafe was dog friendly.
I was directed to a seat and table outside the cafe with a sprawling green and blue Umbrella providing the table with shade. Even though at this time of the day, and the fact it was winter, having shade wasn't really desirable. I manouvered my chair so I could warm myself with the winter sun and waited for my love, my beloved Clay to arrive.
I waited for about twenty minutes with no sign of Clay anywhere, I started to worry that Clay decided not to come and had ditched me for some weird reason.
The waitress had already asked me if I was ready to order and I turned her away. I couldn't do it again, so when she asked me a second time, I ordered for Clay and myself.
I knew when Clay was Mors that he loved either a long black coffee or a caramel latte depending on his tiredness and mood. I decided to go with the caramel Latte for Clay and a cappuccino for me. I ordered pancakes for Clay and eggs Benedict for myself. I hoped that he wouldn't be offended by me ordering for him and by what I had ordered.
Just as the coffees were placed on the table, Clay walked around the corner. He was wearing his normal clothes; Tailored suit, bowler hat, and a trench coat with sensible leather shoes. I found it slightly strange that even though his mind was not that of an adult, that he'd still choose to wear the clothes that Mors did when I first laid eyes on him.
My mind was brought back to the present when Clay waved at me, smiled and joined me at the table. Ellie strained on her leash and her tail banged against the legs and support of the table. It got faster when Clay patted her and kissed her head.
"I'm sorry I was late, I forgot to set my alarm and slept in. I'd probably still be asleep if Shin hadn't come over and shook me awake before he left for work."
I chuckled before replying,
"That's okay, Clay. At least you're here now. I've ordered you some pancakes and the caramel latte is yours." I stated as I pointed to the steaming mug.
"Thank you, Roku." Clay answered, his face changing to a shade of red.
As he took a sip. I took a sip from mine and watched Clay drink his latte so delicately. His lips going red in reaction to the warmth of the coffee. He was truly beautiful. I found myself studying him; I studied the way he held the mug, I watched eagerly as he gently blew on the coffee and delicately drank it..I studied the rogue strands of hair that had managed to escape the bowler hat and danced in front of his face in the cool winter breeze that blew past us.
My eager study of Clay didn't go unnoticed and our eyes met. At that moment I wanted to brush the strands of hair away from Clay's face and kiss him. But I stopped myself, I still didn't know if Clay still loved me or now despised me and I couldn't bring myself to possibly make the wrong choice.
The meals followed soon after the coffee's. We didn't talk much, only general comments about things such as the food and the weather.
After we had finished I picked up the bill to Clay's annoyance he wanted to pay for his half. I refused.
Clay and I took Ellie with us as we walked to the park behind the Cafe. We found a bench and sat on it. There was an awkward silence between us that seemed to grow with every passing minute. Soon it was unbearable so I spoke first,
"Is there something you wish to tell me, Clay?" I asked, trying to coerce him into opening up.
Clay sighed, and sat in silence for a little while longer,
"Why did you sleep with Shin, when you knew I was starting to develop feelings for you?" He asked.
"Straight to the point, huh?" I mumbled quietly. I tried to choose the proper word's that could answer his question and string them together in a tangible sentence. My throat felt tight and my heart beat echoed around me.
"Umm, I slept with Shin in a moment of weakness. It seemed we bonded over looking after you and were bonded by our shared loneliness.
It's hard when you know someone and love that person, be in a relationship with that person and all of a sudden that person doesn't know who you are anymore. They can't remember your name or even remember they loved you once." I paused and let out a defeated chuckle.
"It hurts more than you will ever know Clay."
Clay leaned back on the bench.
" Yes, I know we were lovers once, Roku."
I almost pulled him in close and kissed him. He remembered, well that was what I thought, until he continued.
"Shin told me last week. My heart knew you as soon as we met. I didn't know what that meant at the time, and it still confuses me even now. But even back then, my heart knew you were special, the feelings started growing as soon as I laid eyes on you, Roku." Clay paused and let out a chuckle of disbelief.
"Even as I found you naked, your legs resting over Shins lap, the smell of sweat, sex, and cum in the air.I still had feelings for you. I begged the feelings to go away, I wanted to forget you, but my heart wouldn't let me.
I struggled for five months with my broken heart that still loved the person who broke it. It was fucking torture, Roku. But I couldn't stop thinking about you, missing you, wondering if you were feeling the same... So did you do the same Roku?"
Clays piercing blue eyes were fixed on me, they were filled with hope and uncertainty. How I answered his question would break or heal this man.
"Yes, Clay. Every day. Thoughts of you entered my mind multiple times a day. Every time Shin called me, I wanted to hear that you were ready to see me again. I prayed and wished that the next call from Shin was that call. I missed you terribly, Clay. Even though you are not the person I remember, I still love you." I answered, now all I felt was tiredness.
Clay's eyes widened in excitement and happiness and his face warmed with a smile. He lifted my chin up. My eyes were wet with tears. He leaned in and kissed me. My body turned to jelly and I returned his kisses. Warmth spread through my veins, I felt happy once again. I revelled in Clays sweet kisses, and his gentle touch. Fuck, I loved this man. I thought as I got lost in his warmth and the genuine love he had for me.