A Dance with Death

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Alternative ending- Part 2

As I learned a few weeks later. Everyone was NOT okay, in fact everyone didn't exist, well according to my family and the Doctors anyway. My parents never met Derrick, I didn't own a dog called Ellie, and I didn't go on a long road trip with Mors.

The joint diagnosis was that it was all thanks to my creative brain. Others believed that I had a Near Death Experience and that I had actually temporarily visited the afterlife. All I know was that it was real, the emotions, feelings, and love were too intense to be a creation of my traumatised brain.

I knew that the mourning and sadness I was feeling was as real as the hand in front of my face. I was experiencing grief at the loss of Derrick, Mors, Shin, Ellie and the life I lived when I was with them. If they weren't real, why did I mourn them?

As for why I was in a coma. I don't remember why. According to police reports, witness accounts, and from what my father has told me...It was an attempted suicide.

Instead of getting into that taxi on the very day that I first laid eyes on Mors, I threw myself in front of it. As it was raining that day, the taxi hit me hard and I was thrown for metres, I suffered a brain injury amongst a few physical injures and was put in a coma to save my life and heal my body and brain.

I was in a coma for 3 months. In these three months I had lived years in the afterlife. I am learning to walk again, I slur my words now and have limited movement in my left arm. But in general according to the Doctors I'm doing well and will still be able to live a somewhat normal life, but to get there it'll take a lot of rehabilitation, physical, and psychological. I'll never be the same as I was before that day.

I know what you're thinking. You want to know Why I did it? Why did I throw myself in front of that Taxi?

I was depressed. I lost my fiancé. His life meant nothing to those who murdered him. He was murdered for a crappy old hatchback, his life was worth a mere $500 and a couple of coins to them. The man I fucking loved with all my heart for over seven years was worth $500. The effect on my life after he died, the mental and emotional anguish all for $500!!

I should've gotten help, but I thought not thinking about him and focusing my energy into work would heal my pain, and help me get past the grief. It didn't, my mental health deteriorated to a point that I isolated myself from friends, family, and any remnants of a support network I had left. No-one knew how badly I was suffering, I felt alone and it became unbearable to even breathe, until it got too much and the only option I felt I deserved and the only option I could think to stop my pain was suicide.

At night, I dream of Derrick, Mors, Shin, Ellie and Amity. It's like I am sucked back into the afterlife, I am once again living in a house with Derrick by my side and Ellie at my feet, her tail slapping against the floorboards. Other times I dream of Amity's mansion. The kisses I share with Mors and Shin no longer make my body cold...Sometimes I think this is a sign that my dreams are just that, dreams. And in reality I'm not visiting the afterlife.

I guess, I'll never know if it is real until I meet Mors and Shin for the very last time, after all it is inevitable.


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