A few days later I decided to have a night without Mors. I had the urge to hold a small get together at my place. Only a small amount of people were invited. I wasn't one for loud parties and definitely not one for the mess and destruction they left behind. I loved having a wine and some nibblies with friends.
My friend's arrived about twenty minutes after the agreed upon time. We chatted and soon the conversation turned to Mors. It was Melissa who first broached the subject
"So Roku, when are we going to meet this man of yours? You've been together a while now, haven't you? You must be pretty serious. Will we be expecting him to join us tonight?"
Melissa was always the curious one, I've known her for about five years. She was the receptionist at the same magazine company in which I work. She decided to leave about one year ago for another company we still contacted each other regularly.
I made eye contact and as my face burnt with embarrassment from being put on the spot, I replied.
"Mors is private and very shy. He prefers to live a lifestyle of a hermit. At the moment he seems content with my company, but nobody else, maybe if we remain close he might be open to meeting you guys. He also works a lot and unfortunately he is working late tonight so he wont be visiting."
Melissa replied with a simple
I knew she wanted to say more, but stopped herself.
The other's I invited didn't bring up Mors or my love life after the 'light' interrogation I received from Melissa.
After my friends left, I collapsed on the leather sofa. Any social interaction nowadays left me utterly exhausted, a far cry from my earlier years.
All that time ago,
I was the stereotypical social butterfly. I spread myself between numerous groups of friends. Even recounting my social days now was tiresome.
Everything changed after I lost Matt, and I think my age also played a role in my social demise. I also learnt a hard lesson in who was a true friend and who was not.
Those who I thought were close to me, whom I considered good friends and honestly thought actually cared about me, didn't. They couldn't even ring to check on me, convey their condolences with a simple text or a social media message when Matt passed away. The wounds caused by my hard learned lesson still ached whenever I was reminded of these people or the way I was abandoned by them.
It was late by the time I crawled under the covers and tried to go to sleep. I was just drifting off when I felt the side of my bed move. I groggily turned over to see a blurry figure sitting on the bed hunched over and head in hands.
"Mors? Is that you?" I questioned, my words slurred as I tried to force myself to wake up.
"Yes, it's me Roku." He replied tiredly.
"W-w-whats wrong?" I stuttered,
"Why aren't you at home? Why are you here, sitting on my bed, so late? Are you okay?" I questioned, my heart beating loudly.
Something was definitely wrong with Mors. He never sneaks into my house and sits on my bed like some creepy stalker. I did give him the key to my house, he never used it until tonight.
Mors sighed and lifted his legs and laid on the bed beside me, we had a sweet little gap between us, so I would be safe. But every fibre in my being wanted to move in as close as possible, and wrap my arms around him, hold him close to my body, and comfort him.
"I'm tired of this job, I'm tired of death, I want to be able to hold your hands and kiss your lips. I'm tired of hiding my love for you. If they find out about you, it'll mean we can never see each other again. I won't even be allowed by your side or the one to safeguard your soul when you pass into the next world. It scares me, you know. I don't know how long it will be until they find out about us. I hope they never do."
Mors whispered, his voice constricted with emotion, I looked over to him and caught a glimpse of a single tear run down his cheek. He quickly swiped it away, I looked down as if I didn't see him cry. Mors was not one to show emotions so freely, he hid how he felt most of the time.
"What has happened to make you suddenly feel afraid for us, Mors? Has Shin told them about us? " I whispered.
"No, Shin has not said a word. He is like me, he is in love with a human too, her name is Rashida. They met exactly a week after you gave me your number. It's strange how things work out isn't it." He paused for a few seconds, " They powers that be have called me to a meeting tomorrow. I fear they suspect something is going on. I just wanted to see you one more time, just in case, I never see you again."
The heavy suffocating silence hung between us. I was shocked into silence. An urge so powerful came over me, so powerful I couldn't stop myself. I shuffled in close and and pulled his body into mine and held him tight. The sadness and fear for Mors overpowered me. At this point in time I didn't care if I died, If it was to be the last time I was to see him than the risk of death was worth holding him in my arms.
Mors begged me to let him go, I refused.
"I will risk my life just to hold you, Mors. If it is the last time I see you, I will regret that I didn't take the chance to hold you for the last time. A life of regret is not worth living." I whispered, my throat was tight and tears stained my face.
Mors sighed, and gave a slight smile as he gently shifted his body away from my grasp. He shuffled around and faced me, his piercing blue eyes shone and with his right hand he reached for my face. He hesitated then stopped his fingers millimetres from my cheek, my tears shone in the light of the moon that flooded through the tiniest gap in the curtains.
He took in a deep breath, and as gently as he could he wiped the tears from my right eye, then moved to my forehead and readjusted the hair that covered my left eye so he could see both of them. A trail of coldness followed his fingers as he touched my face.
Soon both my cheeks were cold, and he leaned in and kissed me, my lips then went icy cold, while his lips were warm like fire.