Standing on the highest peak of her ex fiancee company , Blue couldn't hold any longer so she cry, she cry as loud as she could, she cried as much as she could, all the emotion that she wanted to cry out have been bubbling on her throat for too long that it seem to choke her.
She mumble 'If only' again and again.
Yes 'if only', If only she has her self worth, if only she could stop herself from loving him, if only she could be able to see her family true colour, her so call friend true colour, if only she could understand the evil of the world sooner.
She might not be cheated!, abuse!, bullied!, cascarded!
She might save herself from making a fool out of herself 'if only'.
But now it was all too late, the damage have been done and there is nothing she could do to repair it.
All her life ,she lived to pleased her so called family, friend, and her beloved fiancee.
Ohhh!! how naive and innocent she was, believing all their sweet and encouraging word. Now she know how dangerous their sweet word is they speak a word of Bethlehem while their heart is a heart of Caesar.
Now she remember everything.
how she has been used!,
how she has been used for their stepping stone!
But what's the point of knowing now, all the damage had been done and there is no way out of her devastating life.
Now being a 35 year old her life have been ransacked.
With the last tears falling out from her eyes she fall, all she could think was 'is this how my life going to end'.
The last thing she mumble before she hit the road and the end of her miserable life was 'If only'.
Then She suddenly wake up.
Stick with me till the end