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The Sweetest Sin.

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One Friday afternoon, Tyler, Aiden’s cousin, who was two years younger than him, bought four tickets to an amusement park.

I never liked Tyler, ever since I was little he would never play nice. He would rip my Barbie doll’s hands and legs or mess up her hair. Whatever I chose first, he would snatch it right out of my hands, whether it was a toy, candy, swing, or seat. He would just push me away. He used to bully me and Aiden would discipline him.

I got excited, to ride all the rides with Aiden but Aiden invited Sonia, and I got stuck with Tyler.

Sonia was the girl Aiden was seeing for more than nine months and that too with no hesitation between them. I guess he must really like her or her body or whatever she does to him. My heart sank to see them together.

I wasn’t listening to Tyler’s babbling and it was giving me a headache.

“Which ride do you want to go first, Ashley?” Aiden asked me.

Suddenly Tyler caught my hand and closed his fingers in between mine. As a reflex, I looked at Aiden as if I needed his approval or refusal. I didn’t understand why my eyes went to him first.

Aiden’s gaze slid from Tyler’s face to our hands.

“Awe.. so cute.” Sonia complimented us and slid her own hand into Aiden’s.

“Let’s go, Aiden, I want to eat ice cream first,” Sonia said.

“No, let’s all go to the rides first,” Tyler suggested.

“Well, why don’t you guys go and have fun on the ride, and we’ll go get ice cream? Come on, Aiden.” Sonia tugged at his hand and pulled him.

“Give them some privacy, I think Tyler likes her.” She whispered to him. I physically winced at her words.

Of course, Aiden didn’t say anything; he had to listen to his girlfriend, right?

We started to walk away in the opposite direction. I turned back to look at Aiden, and he too turned to see me. I felt an ache in my chest. I never felt like this before. It hurt to see him go.

But the way he looked at me just now, did he feel the same? Was he sad?

“Let’s go on that ride.” Tyler pulled me by my hand.

“It looks terrifying, Tyler.”

“Ash, I’m going to be with you the whole time, sitting right next to you. Look, I’ll even hold your hand like this and won’t let go.” He said with a convincing tone, despite my irritation towards him.

“Okay,” I said, even though it wasn’t the answer I wanted to give.

The line was long, and we were waiting for our turn to come. My phone buzzed; it was a text from Aiden.

′Are you okay?′

‘Yes.’ I texted him back.

‘Ash, you don’t like Tyler, right?’

‘No, I don’t.’

I saw Aiden typing but then his three dots disappeared after one word. ‘I’

It was all he typed and left.

I know what he wanted to say in his incomplete text that came in.

No, he won’t say the words ‘I Love you.’ I never heard him say that even to his mother. I’m afraid if I say I love him I’ll lose whatever we have altogether. I don’t know who will be that precious woman to whom he will confess.

Aiden was only missing me so I texted him, ‘Me too.’

After fifteen minutes of waiting for the ride, we were at the front of the line. On our turn, I went first and took my seat, fastening my seat belt.

But Tyler stayed back.

“Tyler, take your seat?” I told him.

“Have fun, Ashley.” He sounded a little spiteful and waved at me with a smirk on his ridiculous face.

That jerk lied.

He was mean then… and he was mean now.


The ride started slow, going uphill. One second it hung on the top, another second it dipped, and my stomach did a somersault. I was screaming my lungs out—it was that intense. Then the ride went fast and I lost a sense of direction. It went up a roller coaster; face down, then going backward. I’d grasped the grip handle tight, holding on for dear life.

When the ride came slowly to a complete stop, I was still dazed. This ride was indeed adventurous and thrilling, together with excitement. I’d have so much fun riding it.

I walked out of the exit gate and found Tyler laughing rudely looking at the picture of me scared and screaming that was displayed on the screen. The adrenaline-driven excitement turned into anger.

“Woah! Ash, did you just ride X2?” Aiden asked. As much as I wanted to show him my excitement, I bypassed him. I strode towards Tyler with a purpose in my mind.

He was just laughing. I struggled to control my temper, and my open palm smacked his cheek—the first tightest slap I ever delivered. I had the feeling of people looking at us, and they were. It seemed like the whole world was staring at him and me, but I didn’t care. I just walked away.

“Ashley... Ash.” Aiden was calling me. But I kept walking. I didn’t know which way I was going. I could easily get lost here, but my wounded pride wouldn’t allow me to look back now.

“What happened? What did he do?” Aiden caught up, walking beside me.

Tears started to fall. I don’t know why I was like this. I was angry at Tyler but I was also mad at Aiden. Why? Because he had a girlfriend? Or was it because he’ll never choose me?

“I’m calling a ride. I’m leaving.” I said with a muffled sob.

Aiden caught my elbow and pulled me into his arms. “Ashley...” His thumb brushed the back of my neck.

“I hate you,” I said, clutching onto his shirt as though my life depended on it. “You’re leaving me, and I don’t like it, Aiden. I don’t like it a bit.”

“I know.” He held me tight, keeping himself close.

“Why do you have to go so far?” I whispered into his chest.

“To see how much you’ll miss me?” he chuckled after.

“You think it’s funny?” I scowled at him.

“I’m going to miss you like crazy, Ash. I’m going to miss holding you like this, sleeping next to you, you beautiful girl.” Aiden squeezed me tighter against him.

“I hate you,” I repeated the dreaded words again.

“I know,” he repeated his words too. “Come on, let’s go home.”

We came with a total of four people in the car, but now we’re three of us leaving Six Flags. Tyler left me alone on the ride. As a lesson for him to learn, Aiden left him to ride alone to go home.

Sonia was in the front seat; me in the back. I was staring out the window, then I caught a glimpse of Adien’s eyes looking at me from the rearview mirror. He smiled, and again I felt something burn in my chest.


Lately, Aiden has been very expressive. He would follow me around and at night he’d become very clingy too. He would come to hug me from behind and… “What are you making?”

“Here, taste this?” I held the wooden spoon of custard I was making for Papa.

“Hmm... I’ve had better.” He made a face.

“I knew something was missing. I already ruined the first batch and now this one too.”

“Are you trying to impress Dad again?” he asked.

“It’s papa’s favorite dessert, and I wanted it to be perfect. What’s missing? Should I add more sugar or butter? Please, Aiden, help me.” I whined.

“Have you tasted it for yourself?”


“Okay, why don’t you.” He dipped his finger in the bowl and swirled it around and got more than he should have. The custard was all over his hand and running down his arms, dripping from his finger on the floor.

“Ugh... Aiden, you made a mess.” I scowled.

“Here.” He offered his finger into my mouth, and I sucked the custard off his finger, caressing my tongue around his finger slowly as I sucked at it. Before I knew it, Aiden had me against the wall and his custard-covered hand went into my hair.


“Ashley…” He was breathing slowly.

“Y-yes?” so was I. It was the way he said my name… so softly.

“W-what you just did…” Now his voice was seductive.


“Damn, Ash… Don’t ever do that… to anyone. Do you understand?” he scowled at me and then started to walk away.

“Where are you going?” I asked but he never looked back. I couldn’t understand why he went away looking so flustered.

At night he also maintained his distance. I mean we’d left with a few nights to be together and he was putting space between us. It bothered me. A lot. I mean I understand he’s a man and I was a girl—an underage girl… okay I got it.


Aiden was graduating today, and he was also leaving for a trip with his friends before going to college. I was already sad and I didn’t want to get out of bed... I just wanted to sleep more and cry some more. The separation was getting hard and very sad.

After his graduation ceremony, the Castle hosted a party with a lavish buffet and live piano music. Everyone was happy and proud of him. On the other hand, I was feeling pathetic, sad, and depressed because he was leaving. But all through hell, I kept a straight and smiling face and avoided Aiden because if he approaches me, I know I will spill all my emotions.

But Aiden had vanished from the party. Many people wanted to meet with him and congratulate him, but he was gone.

Papa was very unhappy with Aiden; he complained to Mama about Aiden’s lack of attendance at the party. Mama asked me if I had any idea where he was. I told her he probably left this boring function to party with his friends instead. She agreed with me. She just felt under duress coming from her husband.

‘God, Aiden, I hope I’m right?’

I took my leave from the party as well and went upstairs to my bedroom. I was exhausted and wanted to change my clothes into something comfortable. I closed the door and walked in and got startled.

I found Aiden.

He was sitting in my grand closet on the floor with a bottle—drinking.

‘Oh, dear.’

I simply stared a little. In the early evening, he was dressed to praise—Aramini suit, red tie, and sleek gelled hair. And now looking at his disarranged attire, loosened tie, and messed-up hair he still looked handsome. I could tell something was on with him; he needed a distraction.

He saw me and smiled.

“Hi.” I greeted him. “What are you doing here? Everyone is looking for you.”

“And I was looking for you,” he said.

“Papa is mad at you,” I told him.

“He’ll be fine. Come, sit.” He patted the floor next to him. I removed my heels and went to sit beside him. He took a couple of swigs from the wine bottle.

What was he so depressed about? I thought. He was the one who was going to have more fun in college.

“I broke up with Sonia.” He blurted out.


“We were never right for each other, and stop pretending as if you didn’t know that already.”

“Yeah,” I admitted sheepishly. “You deserve someone better, someone, who can puncture your ego and still love you.” I laughed.

“Laugh all you can now; it won’t be long when you wish it was me, who you always want to be with.”

“Don’t flatter yourself!” I told him. “When I turn nineteen, by then I’ll have a perfect boyfriend, and who knows if we become serious, and fall in love, and marry each other. I’ll wave to you while you watch me fly away.” I chuckled, but Aiden didn’t find it amusing at all.

The joke died and went to hell.

“Were you here to change your clothes?” he asked, and I nodded.

“Great! I would love to see your bare naked beauty.” He flashed me a lopsided grin.

“I think you’d have too much.” I took the bottle away from him.

“Hey, I was drinking that.” He whined and tried to wrestle with me to snatch the bottle. Somehow I ended up lying beneath him and he was on top of me. Then he looked at me in such a way that made me a little suspicious that he was about to do something. I swallowed.

“It’s fine... it’s okay.” He said. “I guess I need something stronger...than…” He trailed off, and his eyes lingered over my lips.

“Ash…” Gently he caressed my face with his thumb. “You’re so beautiful.” Though Aiden was drunk but not with wine. He closed the gap between us as he settled over me.

“Aiden, we shouldn...”

“I don’t have a girlfriend anymore.” He was seducing me, with his sweetness.

“Still… we shouldn’t.”

“Shh... Just let me kiss you already.” His lips touched mine as firmly as they were soft. Both of us took advantage of the moment. And how could I resist? I fell for it, letting him do anything after what he just said to me. I kissed him back. I couldn’t get myself to make it stop. Wrist lock he kissed me roughly. Intensely. He slid the strap of my dress making it fall off my shoulder, and I found it almost difficult to keep up with his actions. “A-Aiden,” I said with a shaky breath.

Aiden paused and looked at me. “I’m aware. I won’t go that far, Ashley.”

He groaned in frustration and brushed his lips down from my ear to my neck. My hands swept over his back; fingers in his hair. “I know.”

“I wish… I wish you were a little older.” His caress, his every touch was vibrant with interest, but his every syllable was filled with sympathy.

He released me—withdrew himself from his purpose, and lay next to me.

Since I was seven, Aiden has always been my savior. Even though he was a sweet egotistic rich kid who thinks solely about himself, but, my love for him has never changed and never will. I love him.

We lay there next to each other quietly. I couldn’t imagine how he was currently feeling.

“Are you mad at me, Aiden?”

He turned to glance at me. “Why do you think I’m mad at you, Ashley?”

“I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at myself.” There was a sad, almost tearful glimmer in his eyes.

“I don’t want to leave you here, alone. I wish I could take you with me.”

Seriously. This guy, I swear, has such a dark sense of humor sometimes. But I could feel his despair. He was scared to be alone. All by himself.

Tears formed in my eyes, and a silent sob escaped my lips.

“Come here.” He pulled me closer and hugged me.

“I’ll miss you.” I copied him.

He drew me into his body, spooned me, and secured me under his frame so comfortably; I could easily fall asleep in his arms.

“Ashley,” he whispered.


“There’s something I... I wanted to ask you?” he sounded nervous rather than hesitant.

“What is it?” I asked, and he cleared his throat before speaking.

“I-I want to be your first,” he said.

My breath suddenly got caught in my throat.

“Will you wait for me?” he spoke before I could even form my question, sentence, or words.

If I say ‘Yes,’ will this be for one time only? And if I say ‘No,’ will I regret it?

“So?” he asked, he was waiting for my answer. I know he won’t stay single and that every girl in his college would want to sleep with him.

It was useless to ask him if he would wait for me. He wasn’t the kind of man who would become a celibate for me, I thought, wryly.

I always wanted to fall in love and give my heart and body to that one and only. Though I won’t be his first at least Aiden would be mine.


“I’ll,” I promised him.

It didn’t even bother me at this point how needy it made me sound and I don’t know if this was the right or the wrong answer, but that’s what I felt at the moment.


We ordered two plates of food from the party buffet, and together we sat, chatting, and enjoying ourselves while eating on the balcony. Aiden didn’t want to celebrate his graduation with his friends or go downstairs to meet with the guests that were invited to the house. He wanted to be with me and we’d spent the entire evening, excitedly, discussing his future plans. Then after eating I got ready to go to bed, and Aiden went to his room but he came back and locked the doors.

He started to undress. I blushed. He had this mischievous grin playing on his face the entire time while he was taking his clothes off, piece by piece, but he left his underwear on him. ‘Thank goodness.’

He got inside the cover with me in the bed. This wasn’t our first time CAUSALLY sleeping next to each other. It never felt weird. We never got tired of it, but, until today, after the fact, Aiden wanted more from me, suddenly, this casual cuddling became INTIMATE.

Things I had never thought about or noticed before started to exist. Our actions becoming into affection. Touch became a tease. Love turns to lust. A vivid feeling started to kindle in my heart.

His breath was fanning my neck, which tickled me and gave me goosebumps. His skin was warm, but I felt hot emotions rolling through me. I squirmed with discomfort in bed. The mixed scent of his body and cologne was so strong that I began to question my own sanity. Have I never noticed this before? Or was I just noticing this now?

Ugh... I gotta go back to sleep.

“Are you okay, Ash?”

“Umm... Y-yes.”

I’m going to miss him so much. I don’t know why… Now there’s going to be an even wider separation and bigger space between us. I could feel it in my guts.

I was sad.

“You’ll call me, right?”

“Yes,” he replied.


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