After my divorce, I was sure that I would never step foot in Lusaka ever again. Until Chebo announced that she was getting married. And now here I was standing in front of the mirror trying to fix my necktie. It felt like it was choking me, more than the fact that I was back here, in Lusaka where it felt like I was a laughing stock. I pulled it out and threw it on the bed.
I was going to have to make do without a necktie. I took a deep breath, I refused to let Luwi haunt me even after our divorce. But that was not what ailed me so, the feelings I had for Chebo, today I had to lay them to bed. She was marrying Zephy and he was a good guy. She was my best friend despite the years, her’s was a special place in my heart that time could not take away.
Being back reminded me of Luwi. We were still in touch but sporadic texts really didn’t count. I just could not get myself to be friendly again. She had hurt me too much, and I wanted to move on. It was hard to move on with her lingering in my mind. But no matter how hard I tried I found myself feeling irritated by my feelings. Especially the way I felt about Muhau, the son I loved so much even after learning he was not mine.
It haunted me that he was not mine, I loved him so deeply. I knew that in her own twisted way Luwi loved him too.
I tried to focus on the wedding. One thing at a time. I thought calming myself.
The wedding ceremony was simple, it was a small ceremony at Zephy’s house. The decor was elegant and simple. Decorated Tiffany chairs, and roses everywhere I looked. It was beautiful and it was so much like Chebo.
She deserved something so intimate. While I sat there and listened to them exchanging their vows, I could tell that theirs was a rare kind of love. Chebo was smiling up at her husband in the one picture I took of them with my phone. I wanted to remind myself of that.
“I figured I would see you here,” someone whispered to me.
“Mwiko,” I smiled putting my phone away.
“You are in town and you did not tell me, I am hurt,” she joked.
I smiled guiltily. I had anticipated meeting her here, I just did not think it through.
“How are you?” I asked.
“I am fine, welcome back to civilization,” she smiled.
“I miss being Tarzan already,” I joked. She laughed.
“Well, you are almost looking like the townsfolk just missing a necktie to complete the civilized look,” she said.
“I had one picked out,” I admitted. “I just couldn’t figure out how to fix it.”
Mwiko laughed again. “I like you better without it.”
“I am glad,” I smiled.
My eyes met hers, she looked away. Everything had seemed right with her, the ease with which we talked and just the way she looked at me. But women were cunning creatures, Luwi had taught me that.
I looked away from Mwiko and watched Chebo and Zephy whispering to eachother. I found myself wondering if ever I could have that kind of relationship.