Chapter 1: Not today
Wind was blowing with her unkempt hair. The terrace of an empty abandoned building marked her presence. There were no ledges giving her protection from falling over the tall building.
Her eyes were dull and empty. Scars adorned her face. One, right above her left eyebrow and another vertically across her right eyelid.
There was one deep scar across her mid section. It read 'unloved' in scratchy writing. The only scar that she gave herself.
Her parents disowned her after discerning that she wasn't their biological child. F*ck them. Her boyfriend cheated on her with her only supposed best friend. Her brother hated her, why? Well, that's a story for another day or let's say a no day.
Cara was done with her life. What is love? Some overdramatic fake bull crap that people kept talking about. It made no sense to her. Her life always revolved around people who never loved her.
So, Cara reached to a conclusion.
Maybe, maybe Love wasn't meant for everyone. Just some deserving people. Call it Karma, Fate or whatever you want. Everyone doesn't live to feel the meaning of love. Not everyone. Not Cara.
The night was calm and quiet in the city of Kyoto.
Kyoto, the city of traditional wooden houses and Shinto shrines. Her favourite place in the world, where she was born.
Everything felt surreal. Yesterday, Cara was making plans to go camping and today, she was ready to test just how lekker, falling off a building felt.
Yes, there are a lot of things Cara still doesn't know. Like, her real parents, her real name, and that...some myths were actually legit. But she has no care anymore. She's ready to find out how hell, the place for the sinners, looks like.
Cara slowly walked towards the edge of the rundown building. The night was encouraging her, the moonlight was bright and winds were blowing harshly.
Yes, Cara was ready today. She'd tried, two nights ago but she couldn't do it then. So, here she was, wearing only a plain striped t-shirt and cotton shorts.
Just as Cara was nearing dangerously towards the edge,
Her mind wanted to play devil's advocate.
'The night is too warm to die, Cara. A chilly night would be more reasonable, no?'
Yes, dying on a warm night is just wrong.
'This is the perfect time, Cara. You will not get another chance, another day. The time has come and it's tonight.'
Yeah, I've been wanting to, but I never did. Maybe I'm delaying it too much.
'Cara, you're just 30, you still have a lot to see and discover. People to meet and lives to save.'
True, I have lives to save and there are people counting on me.
'Bullshit! People? What have they ever done for you? You want to stay back for those conniving little fake shits?'
That's right, it's not like I've ever been appreciated or been grateful for.
'No Cara, remember the patient you're currently treating? He is almost going to die if you don't continue with your treatment. You don't want to do that to him Cara. He still has a life that he needs to live. Your treatment has been working so far. You can save his life if you go back Tomorrow, Cara. Don't do this, not today.'
And Cara knew which side won.
Her patient, Akira, 30 and divorced. He was run over by his ex-wife last week. He had a severe condition of brain contusion. He was currently in the intensive care unit. Being a Neurosurgeon was no easy job. Cara knew that everytime she lost a patient, it didn't mean that she was committing a sin. She couldn't help but feel like it though. Some people have lost their lives because of her incompetency.
Cara knew, that today was not the day either. Cara really wanted to live, but she also wanted to die at the same time. After losing a patient in a surgery, Cara didn't have anyone to let her emotions out to. After having a bad day, Cara didn't have a shoulder to cry on.
But that's also because Cara is an orphan and has lost hope in love and it's treachery.
Cara silently whispered to the night as if it were waiting to listen to her thoughts.
"Not today....because he needs me."
And the night seemed like it understood her. Because the harsh winds turned to a gentle breeze that caressed her scars softly.
"Not today" Cara whispered again. Reassuring herself.
Penny for your thoughts?
Should I continue this or not? ⊙﹏⊙