Children’s laughter was my favourite sound in the whole world. It felt so nice to know that kids found safety and happiness in this daunting, dark place called world. Just listening to them from my bedroom window made me feel so light and happy. Both of which were missing in my life.
“Where are you off to this morning?” James, my co-home partner and boyfriend of a year and a half questioned.
Does he want to know the truth that I was kind of avoiding him due to his constant pestering of taking this relationship forward? What does “I am not ready” is that hard to grasp?
“Well, I am going out to the park for a walk and maybe a cup of coffee and a sandwich later” I replied.
“Do you want me to accompany you?” asked James. Well how about a bold “NO”? But me being me, I can’t ever be rude to someone to save the life of me.
“No, that’s ay. I know you have your project to finish for this Friday and I don’t want you to get behind on it on my account.” I finally replied.
“I don’t mind” smiled James. “Anything to spend more time with you. I know you have been keeping busy with your work since your boss is too lazy to work on his own” He said.
Well not actually. My boss is as sweet as honey. He is hardworking and never overburdens me with too much of work. It is generally me who has to pester Max to lay off some of his work so that he can spend some time with his family. He is that hardworking.
Max is a 40-year-old, blond-haired well-built guy with a sweet wife Julia and a 5-year-old son Bentley. He acts like an overprotective older brother at times but that is something, I loved about him. His family is like a second family to me and my haven from all this pressure at home. I generally run off to Max’s place whenever things get too much for me at home. So whenever James asks me to spend some time with him in which the conversation generally tends to divert to the same topic of taking our relationship ahead, I just lie saying Max gave me too much work.
“Don’t worry James. I will be back soon and then we can spend some time together this evening” I relent. Oh No, why did I say that?
“Awesome! I will cook something for us! What do you want to have?” asked an overexcited James. Sometimes he reminds me of an overgrown puppy. Apart from his pestering, he can be a sweet boyfriend at times. The only reason I am still with him.
You see, James and I had been in High School together. He was one of the Jocks, and I had always been the quiet one. I loved to read books and used to spend most of my time in the Library. Doesn’t mean I was a loner or something. I had friends with whom I used to sit at Lunch. But my first Love has always been books.
I never used to notice him but my friends always used to tease me about him since many times they used to catch him staring at me during my classes or Lunch. He did approach me and tried talking to me about random stuff but I was not interested in Boys then. I was more concerned about my Books and Grades to get into a good University.
But Luck had it that James and I landed in the same University to get a degree in Marketing and Business, and had almost all of our classes together. Many times I used to wonder how that was possible because I had heard it somewhere during High School Days that James wanted to be a Doctor. Well, maybe I heard it wrong?
James and I became friends since I knew no one, and he literally followed me every day, wherever I used to go. He asked me out the first day of our second year and I politely turned him down saying I wanted to focus on my studies. That didn’t deter him one bit. He asked me out again six months later, and again six after that. Every time I turned him down, he became more and more possessive of me even to the point of beating up a guy from one of my classes, who was just asking me about my notes.
I had enough of it and shouted at him in front of the whole student population. I stopped talking to him and avoided him at all costs. It was my third year there and I didn’t want people to hate me due to that possessive beast. After that, he apologized repeatedly but I turned him down. After 2 months of this continuous cycle, one evening a friend came running to me to inform that James tried committing suicide.
I was horrified! We ran to the hospital. When we reached there many students were already crowding near the waiting area, and all were glaring at me as if I was the cause of it. Well somewhere I was, but it was not my fault that he couldn’t grasp the truth that I didn’t feel anything towards him romantically!
A classmate informed me that his family were informed and they will be flying from Texas this evening. Well, at least he had someone. Not like me.