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How do you cope with the loss of loved ones? How do you manage to move on with your life when the people that made your life were tore away by death? Will the pain disappear? I can't bring myself to forget about them? I can't bring myself to open up to people? I can't do it. Until I met him, he's everything I'm not, sexy and dangerous. I can't let myself fall for him. I can't let myself love again, and if I do, would he love me back? Can he make the pain go away? This story is not edited .... Yet.


Ambreโ€™s POV

Here I am... I have finally arrived to the new house I would call home for some time, or maybe the rest of my life. Who knows?!

I landed in Chicago 3 hours ago, to say that I was LOST is an understatement. Iโ€™ve never been to the states before. Everything seemed so different, the faces, the smells even the roads seemed so much bigger than what I was used to.

2 weeks ago I jumped on the first opportunity to leave everything behind, the life as I knew it, my family, friends... my comfort zone.

I had to leave, I needed the change, I needed to be as far as possible from Paris, from France, from everything I knew. I was tired of pretending that I moved on after what happened 4 years ago.

I recall, a week ago, as I had to tell my loved ones that the American branch of the company I work for, offered me a position in Chicago with a raise, a house and a car. how could I say no? right?

My mom cried and whined about how her only daughter would leave her, my dad and older brother said they were happy for me, even though they would miss me, I hugged everybody, told them that I loved them and that we would keep in touch. My best friend was there too, she was happy for me and joked about American hotties. Little did she know, no one can help me forgetโ€ฆ No one.

So back to the house, it was huge, yeah compared to my tiny apartment in Paris, it was a real change. I stood inside the house for a minute to take in my new home. Everything was white and bright, just like I wanted it, a huge open kitchen, a master bedroom with a walk-in closet, 2 other bedrooms, a small home office, a bathroom, and last but not least a living room with a beige L shaped sofa.

I always wanted a big house, but now I wish they were here so we can enjoy it together as a family, I would give everything to see them again, to tell them that I love them. I wish I died that day; I wish I was the one buried six feet under.

Once my suitcases unpacked, I strolled to the living room, as I was about to sit, the doorbell rang, and I went to open it.

Behind the door, stood a smiling blond with the most wonderful blues Iโ€™ve ever seen.

โ€œHey neighbour, Iโ€™m Jessica, I wish Iโ€™m not disturbing.โ€

โ€œHi Jessica. Nice to meet you, Iโ€™m Ambre, and no youโ€™re not disturbing me. Would you like to come in?โ€

โ€œAnother day for sure, but for now I came to invite you to our barbecue, all the neighbours are gathered, and I thought it would be a great opportunity to meet all of us. What do you say?โ€

โ€œI.... I.... donโ€™t know, I mean I would love to but... I donโ€™t know if I should?โ€ Actually, I didnโ€™t know if I wanted to be asked about myself, I hate the attention so, I was kind of scared to be the centre of it since I was โ€œthe new meatโ€ around here.

โ€œOh, darling come on, donโ€™t worry we wonโ€™t biteโ€ she said grabbing my hand and dragging me with her, I smiled to myself and let her drag me to her house.

Once we entered her backyard, every pair of eyes were on us. I wouldnโ€™t say they were on me since I donโ€™t consider myself as hot, I mean Iโ€™m 32 years old, 5โ€ฒ7" tall and sadly 154 lbs so you can imagine all the curves I carry. my waist length hair is dark brown, and my small eyes are hazel under enough light.

My reverie was interrupted by Jessicaโ€™s introductions:

โ€œhey honey, this is Amber our new neighbour, Amber this is bobby my husband, and this gentleman here is Lorenzo, bobbyโ€™s boss and actually your next-door neighbour.โ€

My god... He.... wow.... no get a grip, you canโ€™t do that, even if this guy is the sexiest thing Iโ€™ve ever laid my eyes on. Trust me, everything about him screamed masculinity, virility and power, from his dark hair, brown eyes, straight nose, full lips, broad chest and letโ€™s not talk about his biceps, or, GOD, his strong thighs... I was checking him out! damn, I cleared my throat and introduced myself.

โ€œHello, Thanks for inviting me and Nice to meet you. Actually, Jessica My name is Ambre (O-MBRE) not Amber.โ€

โ€œOh, sorry dear, youโ€™re not from here right?โ€

โ€œNopeโ€ here we go with all the questions.

โ€œYou have a slight accent, if I didnโ€™t know better, I would say youโ€™re French, but you donโ€™t have the French accentโ€ Bobby said.

โ€œWell, bobby, itโ€™s because Iโ€™m only half Frenchโ€

And then what happened kind of hurt my ego, Lorenzo rolled his eyes just left. Yeah, I was hurt even if I knew heโ€™s WAY out of my league.

For godโ€™s sake why would I be hurt Iโ€™m not looking for a relationship, not now, not ever.

So, I stuck to Jessica, and we got to know each other, she promised to show me the city and help me settle, to what I was really grateful.

We ate, I chatted with a lot of people, even made plans with a few of them. And for the first time in 4 years, I felt normal, I even laughed without feeling guilty about it.

I went back home tired, and all I was thinking about was sleeping. And thatโ€™s exactly what I did.

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