It was pouring heavily and the loud sounds of thunder followed by the bright flashes of lightning only proved that the warnings that were being issued all over the radio were true but nothing really mattered to the tall girl who was walking towards her car with fast steps. In fact, she was actually thankful for the rain because she didn't want anyone to see the truth.
"Ro! Ro, please stop! Ro!." An achingly familiar voice called from behind her and even when she didn't want to, her body stopped moving at the sound of that voice.
It didn't take long before the owner of that voice was standing in front of her and as she watched the pained look on the other girl's face she flinched involuntarily. Her eyes then roamed her face, the same one she would long to see every waking moment but now, as they stood under the sobbing sky, all she could see was the face of a liar, a cheater and the lips who had been locked on someone else's moments ago.
"Ro, please. Just let me explain--" the other girl started to beg as she tried to touch her but the taller girl scoffed at her words before moving out of her reach as she glared at her.
"Explain what?! Explain why you were kissing him?! That bastard?! What happened to 'I need more time Ro. I promise I'm all yours' bullshit?! Was it all just a joke to you?! A way to exact revenge?! Was this all just a game to you?! Answer me!" The tall girl screamed at the other girl who jumped at the sound of her voice as she looked at her shocked and when she saw the scared look in her eyes, she took a deep breath before hanging her head low.
"I trusted you. I-I let you in. I-I let you see the broken parts of me and even when I knew you could hurt me, I trusted you not to and look at what you've done. You went ahead and fucking pissed on all of my emotions." The tall girl said in a breaking voice as tears fell down her face and she was glad for the rain that would hide them from the other girl.
"You are the only girl I ever let get close to me. I put down my walls around you and I let you in only for you to hurt me in the worst way possible. You not only broke my trust but also my... my pathetic little fucking heart that fucking fell for you." The tall girl said through gritted teeth and when she heard the other girl gasping in shock she chuckled bitterly before looking at her.
"Yep. You heard me. Me, the player, the bad girl, the heartbreaker, the panty ripper, and whatever the fuck they all call me fell in love. With you." She said laughing bitterly as she looked at the sky and then shook her head.
"I-I thought you felt the same... Everything you said and did when you were with me made me think that maybe you... You had me fooled and wrapped around your fucking fingers. I came here tonight to ask you to be my girlfriend officially and guess what I found? You and that bastard locking lips in your fucking living room." She said in an anguished voice as she looked at the other girl with pure disappointment in her eyes.
"Why him? Out of everyone, you could have gone for, why him? You know what he had done to me for years. You knew because I told you. I fucking opened up to you about how I felt about everything he ever said about me and yet... Why him? Why not m-me?" She choked out in a shaking voice as she looked at the other girl with so much pain in her eyes that she couldn't maintain eye contact.
"I know I am fucked up in more ways than you could imagine. I know I'm the worst person for someone as pure as you. I know that I'm so fucking sick and pathetic that even my own family didn't care if I was dead or alive for years. I know I haven't exactly been the best person for the past five years. I know what people call me in the streets, at school, or behind my back. I know they all see me as someone who is gonna be found rotting in a dark alley one night after a fucking overdose. I know I have broken more hearts than I can remember and I played with girls as if they were nothing. I know I have harmed people both physically and mentally. I know I'm the last person who deserves to be near even your shadow. I know it all..." She said and stopped to gather herself before speaking again while the other girl kept her eyes rooted to the ground.
"But I never lied to you about any of these things. I was always honest with you. I never tried to be something I am not when I was with you. I told you everything. Fuck I even told you things I told no one. I never forced you into anything. I never tried to touch you in the wrong way. I never tried to do anything that could potentially harm you. You asked me to stop smoking and I did. You told me to stop doing drugs and I did. You asked me to stay away from alcohol and I haven't even had a drop since. I did everything you ever asked. I did my best and now... Why? Why are we here like this? Why even after all of that I wasn't good enough? Why can't I ever be good enough for anyone? You are the purest of them all and even you failed to love me. Why can't I be loved? Why am I so fucking useless? Why do I have to suffer man? Why the fuck does it always have to be me who loses everything in the end? Why can't it be me who gets the girl? Why can't I have my happy ending for once in my fucked up life? Why can't you love me back? Why can't it be me?" She cried in pure agony as she looked at the other girl who was sobbing now and when she couldn't understand what else to do, she started hitting the roof of her car until the other girl stopped her.
"Stop! Ro, please stop! You're hurting yourself, please. Just stop I beg you." She screamed in panic as she tried to pull the taller girl away from her car but then the boy she was with a few minutes ago appeared from behind her and wrapped his arms around her, effectively pulling her away from the taller girl who was now shooting daggers at him.
"What are you doing here? You should leave--" The boy started to say to the tall girl but when she started laughing maniacally he stopped to look at her shocked but she only gave him a sadistic smirk before speaking.
"Oh, I'm so sorry to ruin your 'fun' I'm sure you both had only just started. Don't worry, I'll leave so both can go back to fucking each other's brains out." She mocked him with fire in her eyes and when he tried to react, the other girl held him back with pleading eyes. The taller girl then turned to her and kept her sadistic face on as she spoke to her.
"I'm gonna go and entertain my subs. They have been restless ever since their master went missing and unlike some people I know, they will be thrilled to have me and getting a chance to serve me again. It's time I went back to being me. I'm done being a mindless puppet to some miss goody two shoes. Have a good fucking you two. Bye." She said with the same smirk on her face before she turned around, got inside her car, and drove away from the girl she loved with a breaking heart.
"Master, you're back!" A short girl wearing high heels and two pieces see-through bikini screeched excitedly when she entered her usual hang out place which was a high-class BDSM club and she smirked at the shorter girl before falling on the bed face first.
"Is she back?! I heard Bruce saying she came in." Another girl asked excitedly as she entered the room and when her eyes landed on the tall girl laying on the bed with her face buried in the pillows, her excited face turned into a worried one.
"Something is wrong. She isn't acting like herself." She whispered to the other girl who nodded but the tall girl turned around because she had heard them both and when she got up to remove her clothes with a hard look on her face, they both looked at her worriedly.
"On your knees pups." The tall girl said in an eerily calm voice that sent shivers down both their spines and they did as she asked before looking up at her with concern filled eyes while she looked at them with her bloodshot ones.
"I know I have been gone for too long and my pups have missed me but your master is back now and you better make sure your master is pleased or else it won't end well for you. Do you understand pups?" The tall girl said as she patted both their head and they both nodded vigorously, eager to please which made her smile sadly.
"I'm sorry for leaving you both alone for so long but I got distracted by a promise of something that I knew I could never have and I just couldn't resist." She said in a bitter voice as she moved to sit on the edge of the bed before taking out the small packet from her pocket that was filled with white powder.
"Master, may I ask what it was that managed to distract you?" One of the kneeling girls asked in wonder because she knew her master wasn't someone to get distracted at all and when she saw her smiling sadly, she knew something was terribly wrong.
"A promise pup. A promise of what everyone calls true love." The tall girl said with a sad smile before sniffing a good amount of white powder and turned to them with a droopy smile and dark eyes that made both girls squirm in their places on the floor.
"True love is pure bullshit. There's only one thing that is real and pure. Lust. And now I want you both to be the good little pups that I know you are and show your master just how much you want to please her and I promise to reward you." She said with a devious smirk on her face and watched as both girls got to work.
As the drugs blurred the world all around her, the feeling of two different touches assaulted her mind and the haze of lust clouded her senses, there was only one thing clear in her mind. The girl she loved. Even when everything was blank, her face was as clear as the day and she loathed herself for loving her that much. But even when she wanted to she couldn't hate her. Even when she tried to stop loving her she couldn't for she was the only person who had managed to make heart beat like crazy. She was the only one she had ever fallen in love with. She was her first love and quite possibly the last.
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