Chapter 13:\\ Churning Hearts
Anyone who would’ve told me that Amy was nothing more than a selfish brat would’ve gotten the finger from me until today. I could see it, I could see why people didn’t want to be near her, why people were afraid of her. Because I was afraid of her.
I kind of... very very barely.... had acquired some respect for Aaron Paul because this chic was clingy and demanded so much from me. I turned in my sleep, staring at her face. The soft lips that I used to want to kiss so badly.
We hadn’t even been dating that long... It’s only been a month but red flags began filing in by the second day and I grew wild. She has no feelings toward me. I can feel it. I can see it. I know it.
So why was I wasting both our time when I could be out and about with someone who actually cares about me. Who could potentially love me. I could be spending my time with someone who has the capacity to love.
Love was way out of the question now. It was long gone before I was stupidly blinded by love. I quickly realized that the only thing I wanted from Amy wasn’t a relationship, it was her body.
My psychology teacher had taught me about a phenomenon called... I can’t recall but it was as if you knew something bad was going to happen. Kind of like that Taylor Swift Song Lyric “I knew you were trouble”. Exactly that... hindsight bias. I knew Amy was troubled, there’s no way to go back and erase that. I just needed to concoct a plan to get out of this forced relationship. But was it forced to begin with? Would she go back to Aaron if I leave her? Why should I care. He was just a doofus who happened to be valedictorian.
I glared at her as she silently slept on my bed. If I’d been in her room, I would’ve left. She opened her eyes slowly, noticing my staring at her and I quickly shut my eyes.
“Ty?” She mumbles, “are you awake?” I shake my head as she giggles. I didn’t want to be fake toward her, but I couldn’t just ask her to leave at three in the morning.
“I can’t sleep.” I say, “I’m used to sleeping in my own bed.” Her expression changed.
“Do you want me to sleep on the floor? Or the couch in your living room instead?” She asks, wide-awake and staring at me with hawk-like eyes.
“Actually, can I take you home?”
“Tyler it’s three in the morning!” She scoffs, her voice rising ever so slightly. “I can just sleep on the couch, it’s no big deal.” She said, but I wanted her out of my home. I didn’t want to be a jerk about it though.
“Yeah, sure. Maybe we shouldn’t have started sleeping together this early in our relationship...” I muttered and she heard it and hopped out of the bed.
“I’m going to the couch downstairs.” She announced and I nod, guilt snaking its way toward me.
“If my parents see you...” I began, but she shook her head.
“What do you want Tyler? I’m tired.”
“Can I take you home?” I asked once again as she stared at me in the dim light from my bedroom door.
“Is that what this is about?”
I nod sadistically.
“Fine. Let me just grab my things. You couldn’t have waited until the morning?” I shook my head as she sighed and muttered incomprehensible curse words under her breath. “Why are you being so mean?” She asked as she quickly slipped on her backpack and followed me in my pajamas downstairs. I quietly grab my car keys and head out.
It’s three-thirty am now.
“I’m not, Amy, I’m tired and I can’t sleep.”
“I don’t see what that has to do with you kicking me out.” She groaned, her head slightly tilted as she attempted to keep her eyes open.
“Nothing... never-mind. I’ll pick you up tomorrow?” I asked as she sat in my car.
“Don’t bother.” She crossed her arms and faced the window. Now she’s mad at me?! I’m so confused.
I decided to ignore it- let her be angry. But why was I angry? Was I just hungry? Hangry? Is that even a term?
I stare straight ahead as I drive through the quiet streets, the stars are bright and the empty roads are dark. I turn to glance at Amy who is hugging her backpack. I hear her sniffle and wonder if I made her cry.
“Are you okay?” I ask after a few minutes. She ignores me and wipes her eyes. “Okay...” I muttered.
“No I’m not okay Tyler! You’ve been treating me like absolute crap since we slept together! I didn’t think it was awful but here we are! I don’t understand.” She wipes her eyes as I miss the road that was supposed to turn to her home. Dang it. I make a u-turn.
“Me neither.” I reply. I finally turn onto her street, wondering if her parents are awake and worried that their daughter is coming home in the middle of the night with a random boy. Maybe they were used to it. Aaron surely might’ve driven her home plenty of times.
As soon as I park in front of her house, she hops out and shuts the door.
“Cya tomorrow.” I call at the nothingness as she quickly enters her home.
I groan and head home.
Now I can sleep.
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