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It takes way longer than normal for my eyes to focus but when they do, I realize with a shock that I’m not in my own bedroom. In fact – I have no fucking idea where I am. Oh. My. God. I went home with a stranger last night and I don’t even fucking remember! I can’t believe this! This is so not my normal behaviour but really – what’s the big deal? I’m not in a relationship anymore so who cares? I just pray we used a fucking condom… but the fact that I don’t remember anything is scaring the shit out of me. And that I have no idea where the hell I am. That isn’t good either. Jesus this is not good.

Ok, before I freak out let’s see what’s what here. I’m still wearing my bra and shirt – good. I’m still wearing my panties – super good. My jeans are currently lying across the foot of the bed – not good. And why the fuck is my mouth minty?! I scramble out of the bed and pull my pants on. I really wish I had my phone – or a new phone. Something else I can’t fucking afford but I’m changing my number while I’m at it. I need to put distance between me and home, and that includes my Mom.

But right now a phone to call 911 would be fucking awesome.

I’d even settle for a cab to get me the fuck out of here but if wishes were dollars, I’d be a fucking millionaire. I don’t have a phone and I don’t see any lying around, not even an old-style landline. Of course not – no kidnapper is going to give me a way to call for help. Duh! I’m going to have to rely on my own brain to save my ass which means I’m fucked. My eyes hurt, my head is fucking pounding and I don’t remember puking, but my sore throat is telling me I did. My brain has left the building until my body can get it’s shit together. Good luck with that.

I peek out the window and all I see is pastureland for as far as my foggy eyes can see. Awesome. I’m in the middle of buttfuck nowhere. That doesn’t scream horror movie at all. I contemplate crawling out the window, but the beautiful landscaping makes me think otherwise. Fuck these environmentalists and their water-saving gardens – the entire area outside the window is nothing but cacti and other pokey nightmares. I imagine it is to keep burglars out and not prisoners in, but it works just as well, goddamnit.

I have to use the door.

I don’t know where my flip flops are, but I can’t wear them now anyways – they’re not the latest in stealthy fashion and I need to be quiet. I don’t know who these people are or where the hell I am so I’m going to assume the worst. It is the easiest to do and is often the most accurate – or does it just feel that way? Whatever – I don’t fucking know. What I do know is that I am inside some kind of little house being held captive by cannibals. That’s the worst-case scenario – now I won’t be as disappointed when they turn out to just be serial killers.

Sometimes my mind is too fucking creative for its’ own good.

I can hear voices – two men. They work as a pair. Typical. Their voices are low so I can’t make out what they’re saying, especially over the sound of sizzling bacon. I have to go closer to where the smells and sounds are coming from since it is also where the door is. My stomach grumbles loudly, betraying my presence just as my hand grabs the doorknob. Fuck. Me. The voices stop, and I can hear them coming toward me. Oh shit. This is it!

I’m not sure if I’m about to puke again or pass out when my brain finally clicks in and recognizes the men standing in front of me. Finn and Alistair. They’re my cannibalistic kidnappers? Well that’s fucking disappointing. I liked them.

“Ah sweet girl, you look like death, come have some coffee,” Alistair says as he puts his arm around my shoulder and guides me to the kitchen. Finn follows and by the time I’m sitting at the table he is putting a cup of coffee in front of me. They work well together, make a good team. Fuck they’re hot, even though they’re cannibalistic kidnappers.

“Wait – did you just say I look like shit?” I ask him with a start. I’m not insulted but amused and the look on his face only makes it funnier. Finn slaps him across the back of the head with a smile of his own. Seeing a man like Alistair – so large, muscular and full of confidence flounder with embarrassment makes me want to take him in my arms… wait. What? Huh?

“I know what you meant Alistair, and you’re off the hook. Believe me – what you see is nothing compared to what is going on inside,” I joke. I’m referring to my headache, blurry eyes and now rolling stomach but now both men are looking at me like I’m a dog they just ran over. What the hell is going on? What the fuck happened last night?

They both reach out and rest a hand on me in what I’m sure they think is a reassuring or comforting move, but it isn’t. It freaks me the fuck out. I need to leave. I know I’m in a shit place emotionally and I like these two men too much to not act on it – which I am definitely not ready to do. Fuck, I haven’t been on a date with either of them and now I’m thinking what? Threesomes? Shit, for all I know, we already did it last night – I just don’t remember. Neither of them seems like the kind of guy to take advantage of a woman like that but I don’t really know either of them all that well… guess that’s the point.

“I don’t remember much from last night, but if anything happened between us, I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong idea. The last fucking thing I’m looking for right now is another man to rip me a new one so uh… take care and I’ll see you guys around.” I’m trying my best to sound casual but inside I’m screaming and begging for them to let me go. For all I know, I am a prisoner here and they’ve got all kinds of fucked up shit planned for me. As much fun as that would be, now is not the time. Brent and Eliza opened the door to my truth and my Mom pushed me through. Now that I’ve crossed that fucking threshold, I know what my future looks like.

Now I have to decide if I can live with it or not.

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