BEEP - 04
"We accept the love we think we deserve "
I was enjoying dinner with Zac a lot more than I had expected not gonna lie. We'd spent a huge part of the night in good cheer up until he decided to be mood killer by popping the question.
"So why exactly are you still single"
As easy as the question seemed, I was lost for an answer.
'To be honest i'm too much of a coward to let go of the past so I'm still obsessed with my ex'
While my mind was saying one thing, my mouth was saying nothing.
"You don't have to answer if you don't want to"
'Then why did you fucking ask !' I wanted to scream. By now I had lost my appetite and my fists were clenched to keep from murdering the cute boy in front of me.
Zac quickly noticed my discomfort and let out a familiar sigh. It was one of an individual realizing they had fucked up. I know this because I've let out that sigh millions of times.
"I'm so sorry honestly, I dont know why I asked that I just.. you're beautiful and fun to be around so I just assumed someone would've claimed you by now....shit, not that you're an object that can be claimed I mean....I've messed up haven't I"
Laughter burst through instantly, my previous anger quickly forgotten.
"I'm trying over here okay, you're not exactly making this easy for me"
I laughed even harder at the sight of our schools mighty quarterback sulking.
"Well I'm happy one of us finds this funny"
Once my laughter died down we continued with our lighthearted dinner. Soon enough we were done and headed back home.
Once parked in front of my house, I faced Zac with a soft smile.
"Thanks for taking me out tonight"
"Thanks for letting me take you out tonight" he grinned "oh and I really am sorry about the whole question thing "
"Dont apologise..really, it's fine"
"If you're sure. So I'll see you tomorrow?"
"See you tomorrow " I smiled getting out of the car and shutting the door.
"Say hi to Mr. Henry for me" he called making me roll my eyes.
"Im starting to think it's him you're interested in"
"Is it that obvious?"
I flipped him off ignoring his laugh and bounded up the stairs to my house not bothering to turn around before hearing his car leave. Once inside, I noticed a note on the fridge from Rihanna saying she would be spending the night elsewhere.
I sighed a bit pissed at this. Ever since Zac asked me that question it's been eating me up inside. After changing into comfortable clothes I got into bed and tried face timing both Rihanna and Jenna frowning when none answered. I decided to turn on my speakers and blast Tyler Fells songs since they were always able to stroke my heart just the right way.
At that moment I got a notification from beep. Not wanting to open the message I slid down to read it.
>I'm sorry about earlier, had to sort out some work...
I groaned realising I had to open it to view the full message. Deciding to just do so, I clicked on the message. However as usual, clumsy me missed the large message bar and instead clicked on the tiny call button.
I immediately hit the end button after noticing my mistake and cringed at what the guy might think of me. Some weird girl who's always calling, though he would probably add some insults into that description.
I was about to try opening the message again when he called.
"Shit" I muttered weighing out my choices. My need to have someone to talk to out weighed every other argument and I found myself pressing the green button.
"Muppet" the all too familiar brittish voice came sending its usual sparks down my spine.
"Keep calling me and I might get delusional amd think you have a little crush on me"
"It was a mistake" I groaned rolling my eyes while trying to ignore how perfect every word sounded off his voice.
"Tyler Fell huh?" He asked noticing the songs playing in my background
"You know him?"
"I uhh.. yeah, I have a sister"
"Oh" I laughed "yeah, I'm pretty much obsessed with his songs"
"Wouldn't have pegged you a Tyler fan"
"I wasn't..then I basically had my heart broken and found myself drowning my sorrows to his melodic voice. You guys actually sound alike. I know it's just the accent but.."
"Are you drunk again?"
"What? Of course not dumbass "
"Just checking" he laughed "so...you got your heart broken huh? Wanna talk about it?"
"To a total stranger? No thanks"
"I'm shocked you still refer to me as a stranger"
"Considering I was completely hammered the day we met, I wouldn't say its much of a surprise"
"True...think about it this way. Who better to Express yourself to than a stranger who can never use it against you and will be a bias free listener?"
"Why would you even wanna know about my broken heart?"
"Because muppet, despise my alluring accent and overall attractive self.....I'm no stranger to heartbreak "
Realising he was right and there was no use ignoring the truth anymore, I decided to spill it out and give vulnerability a chance.
"I'm pathetic " I sighed his silence letting me know I had his full attention.
"My ex...Damien, I was basically obsessed with him. We were together for 6 years, he was like my whole life y'know. Then out of the blues he broke up with me...said I wasnt what he needed at the moment. I mean I was with him for 6 years of my life and we broke up because I wasn't what he needed at the fucking moment"
Opening up my heart to this stranger with a British accent made me realise the pain I'd been holding back. Tears fell down my cheek but I wasn't bothered to wipe them off. Instead I lay down on my bed staring up at the ceiling letting the tear fall as I let everything out.
"It broke me honestly. It's been 3 months and I still haven't been able to get my mind off him. It's like I want to forget but I mean we spent 6 years together, literally everything reminds me of him. I just want him gone yet somewhere deep down, I still love the jerk. So that's my pathetic heartbreak story. "
"Hey, you're far from pathetic. You were in love. The fact that you were able to love like that...it's brave"
"No buts... I cant say I know you but I'm a pretty good judge of character. You're most likely an amazing person with a whole future ahead of you. That Damien scum was probably only holding you back. Loving him even after what he did to you proves my point. He didn't deserve you, and he definitely doesn't deserve your love but love...it makes us who we are. Never be afraid or angry about it."
"Well, when did you become a love doctor?" I jokingly laughed inbetween the tears
"I get my cupid certificate in a week"
"And you're fine. With or without Damien, you're gonna be just fine"
Laying there in bed, talking to this person I barely knew I realised he was right. Damien was a huge part of my life but I still got an even huge part to live with or without him.
The rest of the night went by in a blur and I found myself sleeping off mid conversation to a voice that would forever have some sort of affect on me.
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