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Pistanthrophobia [pistan-thro-phobia] the fear of trusting people due to past experiences with relationships gone bad For Bella Gerrick, this one fear has defined her life for the past 2 years. After a tragic ending to what she thought was a perfect story she makes a promise to herself that she will never love again. She makes sure no one but her best friend knows her true life. She doesn't lock people out of her life, but closes it like a door. But what happens when someone wants in?

Romance / Other
Age Rating:


2 years before

My eyes were closed and my hand was outstretched in front of me. I let him guide me through the mystery location with a full grin plastered on my face.

Today was Chance and I ’s one year anniversary.

Last year, on this day, I was walking on a beach. There was a party going on and I needed to walk and take a break. I was actually hoping that he would catch up with me.

Luckily he did. He followed me and caught my hand. I remembered it like it was yesterday.

“Hey,” he said “why’d you ditch the party?”

I shrugged “It was getting a little crowded so I went for a walk.”

“Oh okay.”

We walked silently, listening to the crash of the waves. It wasn’t until a few moments after when he caught my hand. I turned around and looked at him.

“Chance w-?” I began but he cut me off.

“Listen Bella i’ve been meaning to do this but I haven’t really...figured out how to,” he paused and looked at me to make sure I was actually listening “Will you please, give me the honor to call you my girlfriend and take you out on a date?” he asked me stretching out the please.

I looked at him hesitantly before a full smile made it to my face.

“Yes,” I said and I saw as his face mirrored my smile.

“Well okay then,” he said with a smile. He took my hand and put his ring on my middle finger. He then slipped his fingers into mine and we walked along the beach. All the party people knew, was that they never saw us again that night.

The memory of how we came together always put a smile on my face. And today just seemed utterly amazing. One year together and today was the day I would tell him. I was going to tell him that I love him.

“You can open your eyes now,” Chance said.

I opened my eyes and when we I saw where we were, a huge smile breaking through on my face.

For the past 10 minutes we were walking on the beach. Eventually leading me to the exact place in which he asked me out. My insides were all bouncy and out of control at the sight. My heart beating out of control. In fact it always did that but only when he was around.

“This is where our relationship started. Its where you asked me to be your girlfriend,” I said. I stepped a bit away from him and took in the view. I closed my eyes and swayed with the wind. Man, I loved it here.

“Yeah...and this is where our relationship....is going to end,” he said. I was to lost in swaying to realize what he said. And when I did my whole body froze. I turned to him slowly.

“What are you talking about?” I asked him hoping he was just joking. He wasn’t really going to dump me on our anniversary. He looked down at his feet in a sad manner.

“Chance?” I whispered. As he remained silent, tears of anger and sadness formed in my eyes.

“Are you really going to be so inconsiderate as to break up with me on this day of all days?”

“Bella listen im sorry. I didn’t really want to do it today of all days. But I-I couldn’t continue with this....with us.”

He reached for my hands as to hold them in some kind of comforting way, but I retreated. I took a step back away from him since he moved closer. I felt tears start to form in my eyes.

“Bella I-” he started but I cut him off.

“You were my first Chance!” I yelled “You held my first date, you were my first boyfriend! You took my virginity! Am I just supposed to act like we didn’t happen?”

Hot tears were streaming down my cheeks. My whole body was shaking with the same emotions.

“Bella, I’m sorry. I really am,” he said.

I looked at him and the whole year of us flashed in my eyes. My heart sank and I was still shaking uncontrollably.

“I loved you,” I said softly.

To my surprise, this only made him angry.

“What do you expect me to say to that? Of course you would admit it now. Nothing is going to save us from this Bells. I can’t do this anymore!” he yelled, “I don’t feel the same about you. I don’t feel ANYTHING FOR YOU BELLA!”

The tears coming down my face were now full of anger and I didn’t stop them. It wasn’t until he spoke again did they fill with sadness again.

“You know what, fuck this and fuck you. I’ve apologized, I broke up with you, and honestly I have no regrets,” he said those words and I could feel my heart sinking deeper into me.

He started walking away, but it didn’t feel over. He was a few feet away but he could still hear me.

“Say it and I’ll leave you alone for good,” I said.

He turned around, his brows slightly burrowed with confusion. “What more do you want me to say?”

“Say that the past year wasn’t a whole lie. Tell me that at one point you felt how I do now. You were happy with how we were, how we are.” I walked closer to him and held his hand softly.

“How we could still be,” I whispered. He looked down at our hands held together. My hand always fit perfectly into his.

“Just...just say it back. Tell me you love me a-and we can forget today never happened. We can start over, better than before.”

He looked in my eyes and for a split second, I was hopeful. A small smile returned to my face.

Suddenly he ripped his hand away from mine, his expression turning cold.

People say that three words change your life forever with someone. For me, it was four.

“I don’t love you,” Chance said. He turned around and walked away.

I watched him go until he disappeared from view. The only thing I could do was cry and endlessly and listen to the water because my heart felt like it was being hit by every wave that hit the sand.

When night began to fall I walked home and closed my bedroom door. I ran to my bed and let more tears out until I fell asleep.
But before I went to bed I made a promise to myself that I knew I would keep.

I will never, ever, fall in love again.

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