The S Word

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The Friend

I never drove so fast, especially considering how hard it was for me to leave Nicole’s apartment. That girl is insatiable, and I fucking love it. Finally, someone who is ready for me as soon as I touch her. Someone who isn’t afraid of saying exactly what she wants.

No, damn it I can’t think about her now.

Nor about her soft tanned legs, or her cleavage, or that freaking lingerie set she wore. She did it on purpose, I know it. I kept thinking about kitties not to have something rising between my legs, standing for attention. I especially can’t think how warm and soft she is, how sweet her lips taste, or how her moans turn me on -

Shit, I have a boner already.

Ok Alexander focus, if he sees you like this, you won’t get rid of him. Sad kitties, sad kitties, I can do this. After five minutes, I am finally ready to step outside of the car, with Nicole away from my thoughts. That is until my phone beeps.

By the sexy pictures Nicole is sending me, I can guarantee one thing.

She wants me dead.

Not that I don’t appreaciate it but are you trying to make me go back to your apartment?

She knows how to tease me just right to react. I tried, I did, but it was worthless. Soon as she said she wanted me, I couldn’t think of anything else. I stand outside the small diner when my phone beeps again.

This is a punishment for leaving me without finishing what you were doing
If I wanted you to come back I would do this

My heart starts to pace as I see an image popping up and the image of Nicole laying on her bed wearing barely anything almost makes me drop the device.

I grunt at my phone, needing to adjust my pants. Why did I decide to wear tight jeans for this?

I will have to punish you for this you know?

Is that a promise?

It’s whatever you want it to be gorgeous
But after those photos I’m already regretting leaving your bed

I swear if he was in town for one more day, I would ditch the guy again like I did yesterday. But then he would probably pinch me in the arm. If he wasn’t one of my close friends, I don’t know if I would be standing at this door.

My eyes search every table once I step inside before I see him waving happily at the end of the dinner.

“Finally, what were you doing?” Tyler asks when I sit in front of him. He leans closer, pulling my shirt aside getting a glimpse of the dark spots Nicole left on my skin. “Or better yet, who were you doing?”

I slap his hand away, picking up the menu, and my friend sits happily with a cocky grin. It’s been a while since I’ve been with a girl. Ever since I came up with the rules, I haven’t broken them.

“I’m happy for you to be getting some action.”

“It’s not like that Tyler, Nicole is different, it wasn’t just sex. She-”

“Wait,” he stops me putting his hand up, “Nicole as in the colab girl?” I nod at him, watching as my friend whistles in approval before picking up the menu. “Damn, she’s hot.”

“You saw yesterday’s collab?”

“No, I was shooting the girls in the sailor moon slut outfits remember? But I saw a few of her lives the other week, the ones you told me. She is something.”

I snort, agreeing with him remembering myself how she is. Tyler sent me a few texts after my first collaboration with Nicole, trying to get her number so he could photograph her. But being him, I knew it would be spicy; he would probably do something with either no clothing or just a sheet.

It would be amazing, Tyler is one of the best erotic photographers from the country, but the thought of the two alone stopped me.

Now that I think about it, maybe I didn’t give the number afraid Nicole would accept. Just imagine, her, bare naked under a sheet, her legs circling the silk, a black and white photo.

Fuck stop it Alexander, or you will get horny again.

“So, now that you slept with her what will you do?”

“What do you mean?” I ask, quirking up a brow.

“Can I have your order?”

The waiter’s voice startles us, and Tyler smiles at her. My eyes see as she melts away under his charm. This is precisely why I kept Nicole away from him. He is sex on legs.

“Yes, and can I have your number?” He asks her, and it doesn’t take long for her to scribble it and hand it to him.

We tell her what we want, and when she walks away, I spot as my close friend puts the small piece of paper in his jeans pocket.

“You never change,” I chuckle, taking a sip out of my water.

“Why would I? I’m only in town for one more night anyway. But let’s not talk about that, what I mean is you developed feelings for this Nicole girl.”


My words come out loud; the tables around us glance towards me as I shrink in my seat.

“Alexander, you’ve been watching her for quite some time now. You are on that website for over a year; you know how some people start to think that who they see on camera is the actual person. You also had someone who developed feelings for you in that same way.”

“You don’t need to remind me about that.”

My eyes fall on the table recalling the nightmare I lived only a couple of months after starting the channel. Everything was fine; it was just conversations which led to casual sex. For me, at least.

Not for her.

“I know, and I’m sorry for even touching that subject.”

“She is back, you know?”

Tyler’s eyes widen at my reply. He takes a sip from his water, placing the cup down before speaking again.

“Are you sure?”

“Almost, Nicole received hate on her channel. It could be any other girl, but the words she used, the things she said were so-”



The waiter arrives with the food, and we both fall in silence. Tyler is thinking, wondering what to say next. This is what I enjoy when I meet him, he is very cautious and always thinks everything before deciding what to do.

“Well, if you are going to have something with Nicole- Don’t look at me like that, I told you already you have feelings for her.”

I let my head hang defeated, laughing at his sincerity.

“Okay, continue.”

“You need to figure out what you feel for her, and if she feels the same way. My advice is, ignore the stalker for now, try to see if it’s really her, if it is contact the police.”

“I will.”

I reply, starting to eat, putting a piece of meat in my mouth and feeling as it falls apart with just the pressure of my tongue, making my mouth water for more. If I can’t have Nicole today, might as well eat until I forget that.

“My other advice,” Tyler says making me look at him. “Is for you either to drop your alias or be honest with her.”


Tyler puts his hand up, stopping me as he always does so he can explain.

“She will feel betrayed if she finds out. I don’t care how open-minded she is if you already did privates with her, and if it’s something she doesn’t do, it means she has that user in high consideration. Believe me; she will feel betrayed.”

The rest of the lunch goes by smoothly. We talk about his work; he gives me a few tips for the lives and camera angles I should use, especially when doing collaborations with Nicole. But all I keep thinking is what he said.

I need to let 50shades go, either that or tell her it was me the whole time.

But how do I do that?

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