Dinner With The Ex
Justin wants to meet up for our weekly thing. Not sure if I’m in the mood for it. Wait, since when do I decline sex? Fuck, Alexander did something with my body.
I stand outside Justin’s apartment, still unsure if I want to be here. How am I going to be with him if I can’t get Alexander out of my head? I hate this. What is going on with me?
With a knock, I straighten up before the door is opened.
“Hi, you’re early.”
Justin gives me a dashing smile, putting a towel over his shoulder. Wearing tight jeans and a button-up shirt my ex-boyfriend looks like he could take anyone’s breath away. I know mine got stuck in my throat.
We enter, and I close the door behind me while Justin rushes to his kitchen. I can hear the sizzling of food cooking before he comes out again with a glass of red wine in his hand.
“Here, I’m making dinner.”
Justin tilts his head signaling me to follow him, my eyes drift for a bit to his back and how the fabric sticks to his muscles, and as we reach the kitchen’s door, the smell of meat and vegetables fills my nostrils. I could eat.
Food, I could eat food.
“Fried noodles?” I ask curiously, seeing the pan.
“Of course, I know it’s your favorite.”
He speaks with a cocky grin, staring down at me, and I smile, taking a sip out of my drink. This feels weird. If it’s just sex, then why the hell is he cooking for me? This feels like a date, the ones we used to have when we were in a relationship. And why am I feeling so torn to be here? I’m not doing anything wrong.
His question startles me and I stare at the man. Justin gives me a bunny smile, one that on a normal day would have me melting, but it’s not a normal day.
“Do you have a lot of clients?”
For all my ex knows I’m still practicing psychology, he even asked where but I avoided the question. It’s easy to do that to Justin, I need to push my breasts together and he loses focus.
“Yeah, and lately I’ve been doing sessions with a colleague. They’re interesting.”
“Two psychologists at the same time?”
Justin glances back widening his eyes, he quickly puts his attention again on the food, and I smile knowingly taking a sip of my drink.
“Well, it’s group sessions, so I need help.”
How I want Alexander to help me again. Crap, focus Nicole.
Justin frowns, putting the food on the plate. He is lost thinking, probably on how weird my conversation sounds.
“Is this colleague of yours a girl?”
“No. It’s a guy, and he is the best at his job.”
There’s no lie in that, Alexander is the best guy I had so far. It took me one night with him to want more; I’m starting to go on a drought.
“A guy, hm?”
“Justin, what’s going on?”
He places the food on the table, and I sit in front of him, my ex-boyfriend gazes at me dumbfounded, picking a piece of meat and putting it in his mouth.
“What do you mean?”
“This,” I reply gesturing to the plates and us. “What is this? We agreed on sex; this is too much. And the questions about my colleague? Come on.”
“I am just curious.”
I snort at him, rolling my eyes. Leaning back on the chair, I give my ex-boyfriend the deadliest glare I can before he gives up and puts the silverware down.
“I am. There are no second intentions here; I just wanted to eat with you, I hate having dinner alone, you know that.”
He does, every chance he had we would eat together. But still, the face he made when I talked about Alexander isn’t letting me drop the topic yet. Justin was very possessive.
“As always, you never have patience. Relax Nicky, I’m just making conversation.”
“My patience is the same height as I am short.”
Justin laughs before taking a sip of wine. He takes his time putting the glass down and then locking eyes with me, so I know how serious he is.
“Nicky, I have no second intentions. All we have is sex, no feelings, nothing more than pure sex.”
“Speaking of that, I was wondering, do you want to spice things up for tonight?”
I choke on my drink, widening my eyes.
“What do you mean, spice things up?”
Justin’s grin turns devilish before he takes the glass from my hand and puts it back on the table. I know what he is thinking, I know exactly what is going through his mind.
“Remember that one time we went out of town? That small bed and breakfast where we-”
“Justin, I am not going to have sex in public with you again.”
The man in front of me fakes a pout, resting his face on his hands. It would affect me if I weren’t so against the idea.
“Because you are fucking loud, and last time we were about to get caught.”
“That’s the fun of it.”
Justin leans forward; I lift my hand to stop whatever move he was about to make.
“There’s nothing fun about spending the night in jail for indecent assault.”
He sighs, seeming defeated for not having his way. This is what always happens with Justin, the sex is great, but he is stubborn as a rock, and it’s always his way.
Alexander didn’t care about that, he was still not overly dominant, but it was about both of us feeling pleasure. Even if we have sex again, I am sure even though he’s a dom, I will feel pleasure all over my body.
I thought sex with Justin was good, sex with Alexander is completely different. It’s hard to compare the two. One overpowers me, and I enjoy it, the other one seems to fight his duality, and that gets me weak on my knees.
“Maybe some other time.”
I stare down at my plate, snapping out of my thoughts. A notification on my phone startles me, and I glance at the screen.
Lifting my eyes I see as Justin goes to put his empty plate on the sink, and I take the chance to read the message.
I want to see you again
Smiling at the screen, I nibble on my lower lip and quickly type a reply.
Funny I want to see you too
I was thinking maybe we can do another collaboration? Just for the fun
For your safety, yes
And because that way you’re at my place and I can’t wait to see you on my bed
He stares at me waiting, as I open my mouth to say something I never thought I would. The doe-eyes of Justin and the way he seems so innocent right now makes it a lot easier for me.
“I have to go.”
He seems concerned, walking closer to me, I catch the wrinkle between his eyebrows.
“No, well, yes. I’m not feeling well. Maybe we should do this some other time.”
I convince him not to drive me home, knowing exactly my health is perfectly fine and because I would feel guilty. I am healthy; it’s been years since I had something as normal as a cold.
Just my brain and body seem to be messed up.