The S Word

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What if

We stay in my bed, half-dressed, legs entwined. Nicole wears my shirt, the one I previously had on, and the sight of it makes me smile. She’s perfect.

I know, I’m starting to get feelings, and I will need to talk to her about this soon. Maybe tomorrow morning.

“No, it’s not,” she whines, counting with her fingers. “The right order for the movies should be Avengers, End Game, Infinity war and then Age of Ultron.”

“You say that based on?”

“Everything. They followed a path on Age of Ultron and did not stick to it. Even the Black Widow Hulk thing was dismissed.”

I love her brain. I adore how enthusiastic she can get over the smallest thing. I also enjoy to tease her because her temper is quite funny. She frowns at me when she doesn’t like what I say, rolls her eyes, but what gets me every fucking time is what she does now, how she pushes her tongue over her bottom lip nervously waiting for me to speak.

“Yeah, but I still liked it

“Oh, come on, that’s it I’m leaving.”

She starts to stand from the bed but my hand circles around her wrist, pulling her back down once more. With a gentle but quick move, I pin Nicole under me, her arms over her head as she stares at me angrily.

“I won’t let you kiss me if you don’t take back what you just said,” she threatens.

“Will you let me do something else?” I tease.

“No.”

Pulling my lip with my teeth, happy with how I got her I lean, she shakes her head, getting away from my lips every time until finally, I give up.

“Ok I’ll admit it, you’re right.”

Nicole turns her head to me in shock, and I take the chance to crush my lips onto hers. The small fire she had building up vanishing away as I let go of the grip I had on her. Nicole’s hands come to the back of my head; she knows how turned on I get with that, her leg starts to circle my waist.

We had sex no longer than an hour ago, and I want her again already.

“I want to take a photo of you.”

She seems confused by my words, and I quickly step away from the bed to my bookshelf. My camera lays there, and I pick it up seating at the end of the bed. With a quick look, I take a photo of her. By the curious gaze she is giving me, I know it will be perfect.

“A photo?” She asks, sitting on the bed and crawling towards me.

“Yes, I want to save this moment. The way you look just now.”

She chuckles, sitting with her hands on her lap, a devilish smirk on her lips and I’m quick to register it with the camera as well.

“And what should I?”

“Smile?”

Nicole frowns, not fully convinced with me and what I want to do.

“Ok, fine I’ll give you hints. Stand up.” She says in a bossy tone.

I do as she says and watch as she takes the sheets away from her body laying on the bed once again. Nicole poses, playing with the street lights, fidgeting with my shirt and pulling it between her legs.

For the love of God, Alexander focus on something other than her beautiful caramel toned legs. Maybe if I raise my eyes higher, no not her breasts either, ok, I will focus on her eyes. Those beautiful dark brown with touches of gold she has that seem to be so easy for me to read.

Focusing more on her face, I take close-ups, beautiful ones I tend to keep of her, beaming at the camera.

“I thought you were taking pics of me, not just my face,” she says, hiding away from the camera.

“Your face is beautiful,” I reach to her, pulling her hands down and taking a couple more shots. “I want to save that smile.”

The camera accidentally falls as I am laughing at her and chasing the woman on my bed, she twirls around, getting away from me, and I end up taking a very descriptive photo of her butt.

“I thought you wanted photos of my face, are you trying to save things so you can-”

“No,” I quickly say understanding where the conversation is going. “Nothing like that. It went off by accident.”

Nicole smiles, shifting in the bed and sitting on my lap. Her eyes look for something on mine before I see her smiling.

“Never thought you were one to be premature and fire so quickly Alex.”

I can feel my eyes widening as I understand she is saying I suffer from premature ejaculation. Nicole’s laughter fills my room before I am pinning her against the sheets. My hands start sliding on her outer tight as my vision darkens to try to prove a point. She moans as I run my lips on her neck, tilting her head so I can have better access.

Nicole parts her legs, letting me rest between them, eagerly rubbing herself against me. This woman will be my end.

“Let me show you how wrong you are.”


I don’t know what time it was when we fell asleep, but it wasn’t long for the sun to rise, I’m sure. We talked all night, well we did more than talk. But mostly that’s what we did. Talk.

At some point, I even got to know Nicole doesn’t speak to her family. She didn’t mention why, but it broke my heart a little. Her saying only two people know this, and now I’m the third made me realize maybe she wants this.

She wants us.

I shift on the bed to face her. With her eyes closed, Nicole sleeps peacefully next to me. Her hair is falling on her face, lips slightly parted. She reaches her hands towards me as I move, and I make it easier for her and come closer.

I love this, and I missed it. To be intimate with someone in more ways than one.

There will have to be a conversation about this, but how do I say it? Do I ask if she wants to date me? If she is open for a relationship.

Why am I so nervous about it?

Oh right, feelings. I have them for her.

My fingers slip away the strings of hair Nicole has sticking on her face, and she wrinkles her nose under my touch. She’s so cute, especially trying to seem all tough.

My phone beeps and I peek at it, realizing it’s a text.

Tyler
Good news I’ll be in town again next week

Alex
Why is this good news?

Tyler
Because you can buy me dinner
And I want to meet this girl that has you wrapped around her finger
Have you come clean with her?

Alex
Not yet

“Alex?”

Her voice drags still heavy from sleep as her hand searches for me how I love the sound of her calling me by that nickname.

“Yes, gorgeous?”

“I don’t wanna get up.”

“Then don’t, let’s stay in bed all day.”

She snuggles against my chest, throwing one leg over mine. Her phone rings but Nicole doesn’t even care. I see a guy’s pic popping up, but if she isn’t giving it attention, I shouldn’t as well.

Right?

Oh for the love of God, dude she ignored you twice already give up. Who the hell is this Justin? I need to search for him on Instagram.

“Nicole?”

She tilts her head up, the sight of her sleepy eyes fighting to open up makes my heart melt. Why is she so endearing?

“I-” my voice shakes and I frown at the act.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.”

The phone beeps again, and Nicole throws the sheets over, shutting the device quickly, not even caring to see who it is. She sighs, putting the phone back on the bedside table and covering her body with the sheets again.

“I’m sorry, what were you saying?”

I chuckle at her but start to speak, although not the same thing I was going to talk about just minutes ago.

“Is that my competition?”

“Competition?”

She seems admired by me admitting openly I’m interested in her. Maybe I should have confessed this before.

“Well, yes. I mean, I already compete with your viewers all the time, not that I mind but-”

“Alexander, do you watch me on my channel?”

“I may have done that a couple of times, yes.”

This is the perfect time for me to confess, the perfect time. But as I see Nicole frowning I know something is not right.

“What’s wrong?”

She seems troubled by something, pondering, or making calculations lost in her thoughts. Nicole’s eyes meet mine before she speaks.

“Did you ever had a favorite viewer?”

“If this is about the girl that-”

“No, nothing like that. It’s just you mentioned my channel, and I realized something. It’s been almost a week since my favorite viewer showed up.”

My heart starts to beat so loudly. I’m afraid she will hear it. Putting some courage on myself I ask something I shouldn’t. Because I’m afraid I know the answer.

“Who’s is your favorite viewer?”

“50shades.of.purple,” she says with a sigh. “I don’t think about him in a sexual way, he’s just been there for me and, what if something happened to him?”

I try to speak, to confess I am the one on the other side of the screen, but the words don’t come out.

“I’m sure everything is fine, Nicole,” I say pecking her nose. “Sometimes they just disappear for a while.”

She seems to buy it, and I scold myself from getting afraid of her reaction. Maybe I can let this die easily, and Nicole will never think about that again.

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