The S Word

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Honest

My eyes automatically roll to the ceiling as I let him have his five seconds of jealousy. Alexander studies my reaction while my arms keep his chest from touching mine as they stay folded.

Like a barrier so the guy doesn’t think he can get away with everythin just by bashing his eyelids at me.

“Seeing you were honest with me and apologized, I am going to be honest as well.”

I can tell him, right? I mean we are not dating. Plus, I haven’t had sex with Justin for weeks now. Well, worst case scenario he gets mad, that might be interesting.

“Justin and I had a sex pact-”

“A WHAT?” Alexander shouts.

My body jerks scared before I frown at him, seeing his eyes widening and staring at me. Oh, for crying out loud why is he looking at me this way?

“A sex pact. Listen, I was alone when we started it. We were two single people who wanted to have sex and didn’t want to deal with the mess of dating.”

I wait for him to say something more, but Alexander doesn’t. I can see he wants to but is letting me finish speaking. I should learn from this, damn it.

“So, once a week, we would meet and have casual sex.”

His brow shoots up as the cam boy places his hands next to me on the counter, trapping me between him and the kitchen cabinets.

“You would have casual sex with your ex? That seems like a disaster.”

“It worked for a while,” I reply shrugging.

“Why did it fail?”

Shit. Alexander’s eyes see as mine slowly panic, his tongue grazes his bottom lip, realizing I don’t want to answer this question. He snickers at me, his eyes coming from mine to my parted lips, waiting.

“You’re not answering,” he teases.

“I wasn’t interested in that anymore.”

I try to brush it off as something I grew tired off, but it’s not working. Alexander caught it; he saw the spark in my eyes when he spoke. I have a love-hate relationship with how he makes me feel sometimes. How his eyes trap me into my own kinky thoughts.

“Because of me?”

He leans closer; his lips stay at a whisper range from mine, so close I can feel the air hitting my skin when he moves, the breath that leaves his mouth when he speaks.

“That was one of the reasons.”

Ok, enough of sharing or he will end up knowing more than I want him to. If Alexander finds out, he can get away with anything just by letting his eyes linger on my lips like they are now, I will be in trouble. Why was I upset again? Oh right.

“I didn’t enjoy seeing him here,” he speaks, letting his nose brush mine.

Feeling his skin so close to mine, knowing his lips are an inch away from touching me is torture to my body. I’ve been craving him for the entire week, and now him standing so close, no matter how much I know I have to be strong, is turning to be hard.

“Why?”

Alexander’s gaze quickly meets my eyes as he leans closer and lets his lips hover over mine. He is testing me, seeing if I push him away or not.

“Because he was trying to claim something I want for myself.”

His mouth closes on mine, and the feeling of his tongue sliding across my lips makes me moan as my hands clasp in his hair. The kiss is hurried, messy but so perfect. The desire I have for him can only be equaled by the one he has for me.

I think that’s why I can’t let him go.

Alexander’s kiss deepens as his hands slide to my waist, pulling us closer and pressing me against the counter. His lips feverishly mark my skin, leaving my mouth and traveling on my neck as he loves to do. The body part he focuses on so much now untouched and healed from the week of absence between us.

It’s when I pull his hair that he grunts and his teeth grace my skin by leaving an eager bite on my collarbone. He is quick, lifting me as I yelp and dropping me on the counter.

“Fuck, I missed you,” he murmurs, reconnecting our lips.

Alexander parts my legs, nestling himself between them. His hands find the hem of my shirt and smiling between the kiss he slowly lifts it, knowing very well I am not wearing a bra. My breasts perk up when his fingertips brush my nipples as he slides the shirt over my head.

“You did it on purpose,” he states, cupping one of them with his hand while pressing me against the cabinet.

My head falls back, resting against the top counter as my body seeks for his touch. The sinful sounds that leave my lips are embodied by the ones he makes every time I react to him. He enjoys this, making me squirm to him, making me whimper his name, having power over me.

Tonight I will let it be this way.

“I did.”

I bite down on my lip when his eyes open, and he lifts them to meet mine. Alexander locks our gaze, taking his lips to one of my bare breasts, placing my nipple inside his mouth while slowly cupping the other. He mirrors the move his tongue and teeth make with his fingertips, sending pleasure over my body.

He is more aggressive this time, and I love it.

His hands move on the side of my body, falling from my breasts ever so slowly drifting lower until reaching my shorts. Alexander slides his fingers underneath the fabric, as I lift myself letting him slide both the shorts as the underwear over my legs. He throws it to the floor. His eyes drop on my naked form, and I see the dark remain of lust.

It’s this stare he gives at me that makes me drip without even his touch. That has me ready for him, letting him use my body to whatever he wants. Alexander bites down on his lip, pulling it with his teeth while fidgeting with his button to unzip his pants.

My fingers never worked so hard to lift someone’s shirt over their head.

With a kiss, he positions himself at my entrance, and my mouth falls open as he eases himself inside of me grabbing my legs and putting them around his waist. We both pant into each others mouth, feeling the connection between our bodies deepening, sharing a breath before closing our lips into a heated kiss.

If this is how he apologizes, I should stay mad at him longer.

Alexander pulls back thrusting fully inside of me the second time, and I can’t help but smirk into the kiss. He is both jealous and apologizing — Sweetest and deadliest combination I’ve seen on him so far.

“Alex-”

The nickname comes from my mouth, and he grasps me from my butt, pulling me closer as he starts to pick up a steady pace. I throw my arms to his back, grasping my nails into his skin, marking him as well.

Mine, that’s what he said. The words can’t leave my head as he makes my walls tighten around him. I’m his.

My breasts brush against his chest before he clasps his hands on my ass, and I lose myself with the feeling. My body shivers, as he slows down his pacing to feel it. To feel me biting on his neck, legs circling his waist pulling him closer, nails digging into his skin and my other hand pulling the strings of his hair. He wants to feel everything before letting go of the moment.

A small kiss is shared to make sure I’m ready for him to continue. With his eyes set on mine Alexander thrusts harder, my head hits the cabinet, but I don’t care. I want to feel him as well, to see him undone because of me.

I glide my hands resting one on the strings of his hair, the other over his shoulder, connecting our chests when feeling him starting to pulse, holding him tightly against me. He rocks the pleasure wave of his body, easing his thrusts until stopping completely.

Leaning forward, Alexander touches our foreheads as both of us pant from the workout.

There’s no point in going to the gym after this.

“I am sorry.” He says, staring into my eyes. “I promise I won’t hide anything like that ever again.”

“I know, and I want to trust you fully but-”

“It’s hard, I know,” he speaks interrupting me.

Alexander slides out of his pants, picking me up and walking us both to my bedroom he places me on my bed and resting next to me. Small drops of sweat run on the side of his face as I turn to face him.

“I will work on you to trust me, Nicole, I promise,” he kisses me, deeply but not teasing me to search for more. “So, I want to do things right this time. I don’t like having guys on your apartment thinking they can-”

“Still hung on the Justin thing?” I ask chuckling.

“Yes, I’m still hung on that,” he states, rolling his eyes.

Alexander takes a string of my hair away from my eyes and stares at me for a few seconds. He doesn’t speak right away, and I start to wonder what’s on his mind.

“I want you to be mine.”

I frown at this. It’s been a while since I had this conversation and the words take a couple of seconds to make sense. Plus it’s fun to see him struggling.

“Yours as in-”

Embarrassing the man who likes to make other’s shy, now this should be interesting.

“I want you to be my girlfriend. I want to date you and be the only man for you,” he states bringing his face closer.

It’s then I realize Alexander also doesn’t have much experience with these conversations, just like me. Relationships are hard and maybe it’s been a while for his as well.

“That’s cute.”

“Don’t mock me, woman,” he says laughing. “I am trying to be romantic here.”

With a kiss I throw my leg over his, nestling my body against his and promising with unspoken words something that even if said is not enough. His eyes wait, staring into mine asking me to say the words.

“I will be your girlfriend, Alexander.”

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