The S Word

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Shadow

Alexander’s POV

The night is long and I can’t sleep. Nicole rests, her hand next to her face on my chest, her locks falling on her back, her golden skin shining against the moonlight. Our bodies nestling with each other, trying to be as close as they can.

It took her a while to stop thinking about the stalker. Not that I can blame her, until today I still think about her every now and then.

The craziness of her brain that only seems to see herself now decided to come after the woman I love. Dark, twisted and overall scary. Limits are not something she knows. The way she left my former apartment proves just that. After that I couldn’t live there again, I didn’t feel safe.

I push away one lock that’s covering Nicole’s parted lips, and she cuddles closer to me. Her leg thrown over mine, pressing our bodies together, seeking comfort on me. How I love that.

Cute and sexy at the same time, this woman can do whatever she wants to me that I won’t complain. I’m madly in love with her. Everything about her. The way she purses her lips to the side when she gets annoyed, her sense of humor, the mole beneath her ear lobe and even her sarcastic replies.

Maybe it’s time, I should tell her about the rules. Why they exist. Once morning comes, I will do that. But now, since I can’t sleep I walk slowly out of the bed to go grab a cup of water leaving Nicole mumbling something in her slumber. The silence of her apartment reassures me how this feels right, how at ease I am at her place.

She doesn’t hide stuff from me. Her agenda is on the desk, her phone doesn’t have a password and I even know where she has her vibrator. Not that she needed to use it lately. Sometimes I wonder if we are moving to fast, but then I realize, I don’t want to slow it down.

We are not a normal couple, we enjoy doing things together yes, but we also enjoy doing a lot of things other couples don’t even talk about. Like the fact that I’m sure one of my girlfriend’s fantasies is a threesome.

The dirty thoughts she has don’t cease to amaze me, even when I think she can’t be any kinkier, she surprises me. I walk through the small hallway and once I return to the bedroom she opens one eye, whining.

“Come back here,” she says rolling and taking the sheet with her giving me space to lay on my side of the bed again.

My side of the bed, that’s something I thought I wouldn’t have for so long. I didn’t want to, not until she came walking to my life as she did. Her attitude, her clear mind, and even her stubbornness. She has a short temper, but even that I love.

I do as she asks, putting one arm around her and pulling her to me. My fingertips slide on her back forming small shapes and I catch as she smiles contently.

“Gorgeous?”

She looks up, resting her chin on my chest. Her eyes gazing at mine as Nicole waits for me to speak. She never forced me to say anything about it, being patient and considered, although I’m sure she knows it’s related to the stalker.

“I need to tell you about the rules.”

Nicole’s eyes don’t move, staring into the deepness of mine she waits. Curious and patiently she stays still. She won’t judge me, she never does. One more reason why I know it’s time.

“Her name is Sara, she was one of the first viewers I had. Two years ago I was meeting girls every week. They would see me on the channel and leave comments, asking if we could see each other and I would go to them. Nothing serious, all just sex. Never in my place.”

I wait, for a reaction, something that gives me the slight hint she doesn’t want me to continue, that I am saying too much. But she doesn’t and that reassures me she is willing to listen. My past with women is not something I’m proud of.

“One of them wanted more than I was willing to give. To me, it was just sex, and I always told them I didn’t want to date at the time. It’s not like I was misleading them. But Sara was different. She was weird. Leaving comments on the channel about us being together, or that I was hers now. When the other viewers called her a liar or made compliments to me she would insult them. I told her we were done, and that I would not see her again, but she didn’t listen.”

I take a deep breath, gathering enough courage to speak about the worst part of the story.

“After I told her I didn’t want anything to do with her she started to insult me on the channel. Then, seeing I wasn’t reacting she tried to be gentle again, when that still didn’t happen the threats started. Like the one you got, I didn’t make a big deal out of it. But then she started to call. I changed number and she got the new one, and a few days later my address.”

“That’s why you moved as you said?”

I nod at her question, seeing how she paid attention to our conversation weeks ago.

“Yes, she got aggressive. Came inside my apartment, went through my things, broke a few, took some with her. The police didn’t do much. She spent a night in jail and now there’s a restraining order against her. If she comes close to me again she will go to jail, but like before not for long.”

Nicole crawls closer to me, her face next to mine on the pillow as we both turn to face each other. I see the questions she wants to make but doesn’t ask. They are mirrored by the fears I have.

“I was fine with all of that, I learned to deal with it, but now I have you. Now she can hurt you and I can’t live with that on my mind.”

“Alex I-”

“Please don’t react to her. It’s all I ask.”

Nicole nods. She kisses me softly as I cup her face to pull her to me. To make her realize how much I need her to understand the deepness of my words. The true meaning of them. If Sara does anything to her, I won’t ever forgive myself.

“I will try, I can’t promise I’ll succeed but I will try my best.”


“Why are you driving me to work?”

I end up spending the entire weekend with her, again. We have known each other for two months now and since we started to date I already spent a lot of my nights with her.

Sometimes I wonder if she is okay with that, but Nicole doesn’t seem to care about it, she doesn’t say anything. She was the one who told me to stay yesterday when I said I was going home. Not that after that threat I was going to leave her alone willingly.

“Because I have to go pick Tyler at the airport, and your office is on the way.”

“I want to meet him.”

Nicole stares at the scenery out of the car and I snort. Of course she does, but I’m not sure if I want that to happen yet. Tyler has a lot of things he can say about me that I don’t want her to know.

“In time.”

I have something in mind, something I think she will like. If Tyler agrees we can do that before the end of summer. Parking the car I see as Nicole takes her seatbelt off and leans to kiss me. My hand goes to the side of her face pulling her closer and teasing her enough so she doesn’t want to get out of the vehicle.

It’s fun to do that, to make her getting frustrated by being torn.

“Alex,” she complains as I deepen the kiss and I smile when she doesn’t pull away.

“Yes?”

“I have to go I-” my lips fall to her neck and travel to the gap of her blouse revealing a small cleavage. The woman reacts to everything I do, even the smallest of the touches.

“Then go-”

“Ok Satan,” she says finally pulling away. “I am going now but you better believe I will make you suffer.”

Chuckling at her I laugh as she steps out of the car, and then it hits me.

“What are you going to do?”

Nicole takes out her phone, scrolling it doesn’t take long for mine to beep and I regret asking the damn question.

“I took those after the nudes, but never sent them to you.”

Images start to appear on my screen and I shift on the sit as the evident arousal begs for attention beneath my pants.

“You’ll be receiving some interesting pics during the day, I will even take new ones,” she says closing the door. “Make sure to not react in front of other people.”

She is going to kill me.

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