She fell asleep when we got into the car. The night was long and overwhelming to Nicole. It was intense, I hold on to everything I had not to punch that son of a bitch, but when she looked at me like that and I saw the tears in her eyes I had to decide what I needed to do first.
And she is my priority.
I can punch Justin later.
Nicole doesn’t wake up when I park the car, nor when I lift her in my arms and take her inside the apartment. Laying her on my bed I listen as she whines but turns around to sleep, while I undress her with gentle movements. The duality of this woman will be my death. She cutely pouts when I slide the dress off her, leaving her in nothing but her underwear before lifting my sheets to cover her body.
I get it now, the way she speaks, the way she acts. I get why she is like this, and I love her even more. I didn’t think it would be possible but knowing everything she went through, I got angry at her family. I got upset for her and it hurts that I wasn’t there before.
But I am now and I won’t let anyone harm her ever again.
It’s not just about sex with her, it’s not just about how she can do anything to me and I will accept it, it’s so much more than that. I truly never felt this way for any other woman. For a long time I thought I would never find love again. There were the occasional nights with girls I didn’t know where pleasure was all we wanted, but it was just that. Meaningless sex. I won’t lie saying it was bad, but I’m not proud of my past, at some point I was only fulfilling a need.
Nicole knows it, she knows what I did, how I did it and yet she stayed. Without judging me for my past, without even blinking she stayed.
She did more for me with that than any other person, so I will be by her side no matter what.
“I could get used to this,” she mumbles as I drive the car into the sunset.
The late-night falls cascading its light upon the gorgeous woman at my side. Her skin shining with its light giving her a bigger glow of mist and wonder, and I have to control myself not to lean and kiss her feverishly.
“Used to what?” I ask with a chuckle, glancing at her and watching as she smiles.
“Spending all my weekends with you. It’s the third one and-”
Nicole shrugs, the question I never asked is answered as I realize she doesn’t mind being with me whenever we have a chance to. My heart even beats faster thinking about that.
“I was wondering if we were moving to fast.”
Nicole snorts and squeezes my hand with hers.
“After that first date, I think it was proved that we don’t do things slowly, or normal.”
It’s true and I chuckle at her remark. We never did things the normal way since we met. I still remember the first night I touched her in the way I wanted and how much it took of me to hold myself together before. After our first meeting I left that restaurant as hard as I had ever been and had to relieve myself as soon as I got home. But this is the woman who made me change my life, so it only feels normal for that to happen.
We arrive at the restaurant, I give the valet the car keys and see as he stares at Nicole when I help her get out of the car. Her legs exposed by the black tight shorts that hug her ass, while the red blouse opens a little to show just the slightest skin of her breasts.
No wonder he is looking, she is pure sin.
A small smile graces my lips, because like I said, I am proud of walking by her side knowing she is mine, and no one else.
Knowing the woman I love looks only at me.
One of the waiters takes us to our table, a small corner booth. Perfect. I order, and once the man is gone I feel Nicole’s hungry eyes on me.
“So,” she says leaning over the table. “No kinks tonight?”
From where I sit I have a perfect vision of her cleavage and need to adjust on the seat not to stare at the two things that call for my attention.
“No, it’s a romantic date.”
I raise a brow at her and Nicole takes a sip from her water.
“Kinks can be romantic,” she says putting the glass on the table again. “The one last night was.”
“Really? I thought to be romantic most women would like champagne and roses.”
“Romance is something different for everyone,” she speaks staring at me. “For most women, it’s a date, flowers, chocolate. For me, it’s knowing the man I love is doing everything to satisfy my needs.”
Her eyes stare at me, daring me to ask what she knows I want. Ever since I know Nicole she wants to know the dirty secrets of people, and yet she never talks about hers.
“So what are your kinks?”
She pretends to think for a second and leans against me, whispering the words.
“What do you think they are?”
“A threesome,” I state matter of factly.
“That’s obvious, but most people have that one.”
“I don’t,” I reply to her, snickering.
Nicole frowns and I assure her nodding that the one I just referred isn’t even on my list. How am I suppose to have another man sharing the woman I love when I can’t even deal with it when they look at her with eager eyes.
My question is answered right away by the grin on her face. I knew this one would be on her list, it’s on mine as well. But by the way Nicole bites down on her lip, it’s somewhere on her top three.
If she keeps looking at me like this, we will fulfil it sooner than I thought.
“What about you,” she asks tilting her head.
Her hair falls over her shoulder, letting the curls hit her breasts and I can’t help to glance at them.
“My eyes are up here, Alexander.”
“I know, but you’re one of my kinks. It’s a little hard not to lose focus.”
The small shade of pink colors her cheeks and it makes me happy knowing the effect my words have on her.
“I’m one of your kinks.”
The smile on her face gets wider as Nicole rests her hand on the table. I take it between mine, letting my thumb brush against her soft skin.
“Since the day I first put my eyes on you.”
“What more?” She asks, resting her chin on her other palm and biting down on her lip, gently pulling the soft skin with her teeth and I exhale in delight at the sight.
“Being tied up.”
“I like that one,” she replies with a smirk.
It’s then that my stomach starts to spin and I have the need to ask about her past. Until now I have been patient, I’ve let Nicole take her time and only tell me what she feels ready to. But I don’t think I can wait.
“I have to ask you something, “she nods at me, seeming unphased by my request. “What is the deal between you and Justin? I know you don’t have feelings for him but, I hate to say that I think it’s not the same the other way around.”
Nicole puffs a breath and takes a sip from her water to gain some time. She lets her gaze travel to the table and it stays there while she speaks.
“I loved him once, he went away and we broke up. Justin was the first guy I dated, he was my first love, he was the one who told me I should accept myself. He helped me, but it doesn’t give him the right to pull the stunt of last night.”
She is right. Love doesn’t give the right for anyone to treat another like that.
“Do you think he still loves you?”
“I don’t think it’s love anymore,” Nicole says and her eyes lock on mine. “He came back and maybe he is trying to build his old life. I was part of it and it seems it’s being hard for him to accept that I don’t want that anymore.”
She furrows her brows thinking deeply about something. Tilting her head to the side, the woman I love slides her fingers between the strings of her hair pulling it out of her face before she says determinedly.
“Justin is hurt and angry at me because when he came back I told him I didn’t want anything serious, and now I’m with you. I don’t know what’s going through his mind, but right now I can’t care about that. Not after last night.”
I don’t ask anything else. This is all the assurance I needed for my heart to be at ease. Whatever Justin told her it had to be about her past, or else she wouldn’t speak to me about it. Maybe he said something about her mom or her dad. Either way, I don’t think Nicole is ready to face him back anytime soon.
I just hope he feels the same way.