"There must be something in the water
Cause everyday is getting colder
And if only I can hold ya
You'd keep my head from going under"
Lewis Capaldi - Bruises
The place was so packed; almost the whole school was inside it. The music was too loud to blast your eardrum. For all the people here, this party was so swagged and matched the YOLO rules. It looked pretty much like the typical teen fiction theme of
Everyone seemed to be enjoying; meanwhile, I was wishing the ground could swallow me up or to develop a sudden superpower and be invisible.
I was wondering why did I come? I should have crawled on a sofa wearing my favorite oversized black hoodie that's knee length, with pizza and chocolate mountains are next to me.
I should have ignored Jessie's invitation and Kara's pushing to join.
I sat under the stairs in an almost isolated place crossing my fingers to be unseen, but I guess I am too famous to be acknowledged easily. Who doesn't know Emma O'Connell, the current cheer-captain and the twin of James O'Connell the football master?
They were all coming over to greet and chat with me. I wonder how did they recognize me. I dressed up plainly, just an oversized slate sweatshirt with black jeans. I didn't bother myself brushing my messy, brown and wavy hair or making the outfits' colors match. The only thing I did for the party was just putting makeup to hide my uneven skin tone, the dark circles (that I got lately from crying) and the very pale lips of mine. Mainly, I was hiding the pain that's dragging up to my heart.
I'm neither an idiot or a genius, but I can see what's underneath their fake-friendly masks. It's just their curiosity to analyze how did I cope up with my crisis and the main school's drama headline: "The break-up of me with Luke."
I can see their compassionate looks and their soft treatment as if I was a sharply pointed glass. Well, I'm shattered, but I don't harm anyone except myself.
What I have observed shivered me more. Luke was rocking it with a girl. They were dancing to the rhythm of the song as if their hearts were molding together, although the lyrics and the song weren't that upbeat. The sight of them together made the ground to shake beneath me and the vision to get blurred. Shivers of humiliation and anger were running down my spine making me on the verge of collapsing but I decided to pick up my broken pieces together and run outside the house, recoiling and wrapping my arms around my knees under a far, desolated tree.
I thought that he will be different...that he will be caring.
I revived the memory of the first time we met. Last year, a mutual friend introduced us to each other and he started blushing the moment we shook hands. I thought it was just because they had finished their basketball training, but then my friend struck me with that Luke was having a crush on me from the beginning of the semester but he never had the courage to ask me out, so my friend was speaking on the behalf of Luke.
I recalled the glare that our pal received when he spoke but then Luke's super warm smile to me was assuring that our friend didn't lie about Luke's feelings.
Date after date, my feelings grew towards him. We were lost in our unique world, but he drained me.
Who would have thought that the cheerleaders, under all these layers of cosmetics have hearts?!
Overthinking sneaked to my head in the worst ways ever, so I started sobbing haphazardly, ignoring all the black mascara trails on my face. Can't explain how red my nose got and buffy my eyes went. In the end, it heals.
A calm and soft voice interrupting my pity party asked if I was OK. It was Luke. My only response was raising my eyes and stuttering faintly: "Y- yes, thank you "
He responded: "I know there's an issue, speak up! "
I looked straight into his eyes, "My problem is you. You gave up on me so easily, breaking all the promises we made and the worst thing is that I don't even have a clue about the reasons."
He arched his eyebrows wondering but before he speaks, I interrupted, " Don't say useless justifications. If there were true feelings, you would have not let me go."
A moment of silence was in between then I continued, "Falling for you was an enormous mistake and the worst ever ."
He said gazing at the emptiness," I assure you what we had was real. "
I immediately shouted, "If it was, look into my eyes and say it. Did you see galaxies in my eyes? Did you notice how I get cranky under stress? A pain aching in my chest was felt as I noticed such stuff to you. This feeling, the one-sided love, is damaging. You spoiled me. You turned me into the cheer captain that's running out of her cheer," I took a deep breath to prevent the tears from the further brimming." If I had a wish right now. It will be moving on to be the happy Emma again. The version of me before we met"
He screamed, "Can't you see it? My choices were either dignity or love; dignity wins."
I yelled back at him, "And what did I do for your stupid dignity?" However, he walked away ignoring me.
He left me alone helpless and clueless. I can't be more grateful to his handsome face.
I'm now certain that He already moved on...
Now it's my time to move on too....
A/N: Hello ! This is not my first time to write and post stories but it is my first time to publish on Inkitt, so I would like to know your thoughts and feedback on this chapter and shall or shall I not continue updating it.
Hope you have a great day! And don't hesitate to hit me up ^^