Chapter 18 [Part 1]
The kiss was slow and passionate. I couldn’t help but be lost into it. All thoughts of my feelings went out the door and all that mattered was the kiss. My phone was long forgotten as Jack deepened our kiss.
After a minute, we slowly pulled apart and I came back to my senses. I grabbed my phone, pushed myself off Jack and ran to the bathroom where I locked myself in. I can’t believe I just let that happen. I let Jack kiss me and I kissed him back. It wasn’t meant to happen. I never wanted a relationship with Jack but then why did the kiss feel good? I’ve just complicated things. When the time comes, I doubt Jack is going to let me go easily. Who am I kidding? Even if we hadn’t have just kissed, Jack is never going to let me go. It’s clear he has feelings for me from the day we met. I still have to leave him. Even though I’ve forgiven him for what he did, I can’t give this marriage a chance when it wasn’t my choice to marry. I will have to find a way to leave him when the time comes. I don’t know how we ended up kissing, I can’t allow it to happen again. Jack can’t be led on to believe we have a future together when we don’t despite how he feels about me. I can’t lie, he is a very handsome guy but I can’t see a future with him.
I don’t know how long it had been since I had been in the bathroom sitting in the bath as I hadn’t kept track of the time but I decided it was time to leave.
I rolled my eyes when I opened the door to see Jack standing right in front of my face. I got a feeling of Déjà vu. The last time Jack had been waiting right outside the bathroom door for me was just before the awful incident. There better not be a repeat of that now. I really don’t ever want to go through that again but if it does happen then I have a great excuse to leave him. I doubt Jack will ever do anything like that again though. He was being genuine when he apologised. I could see the guilt clearly in his eyes. He will never hurt me. I don’t really have a reason to leave him, not really.
“Are you ok?” Jack asked as our eyes met. His eyes are now full of worry and love. What the hell have I done? He will be hurt when I tell him we can never touch again.
“I’m fine,” I replied as I turned away. I can’t look into his eyes knowing I'm about to hurt him.
“Are you sure?” I felt Jack place his hand on my shoulder.
“Yes,” I insisted before Jack turned me to face him. I ended up looking into his eyes again. I couldn’t help myself. What the hell is happening to me? What is this? Why am I feeling this way?
“Why did you run off?” Jack’s question caught me off guard. What am I supposed to reply to that? I got scared?
“You shouldn’t have kissed me,” I commented quietly but I knew Jack clearly heard. “It won’t happen again,”
I was expecting to see hurt in Jack’s eyes but what I actually saw was anger. Oh dear!
I pushed Jack’s shoulder and tried to side step him to get back into the bedroom. Jack however, had other ideas.