Chapter Five : Mumbled Talking
“My heart is burning a hole in my chest and every time you speak to me, it keeps sinking, and I’m left with nothing but ashes. I wish she were talking to me, because the more she speaks to me, the more my heart flutters like a rising phoenix.”
-Karen Quan and Jarod Kintz
What are they ?.
Just God’s way of telling you what you need to do. The mere recklessness of a chance occurrence of something that needs to be done but we as miserable as humans fail to do so. They are the mere source how each human is shown a way so that he or she never goes ahead and makes a mistake ever so pathetic that the only reason or purpose left of his life would be to seek closure or forgiveness .
Signs are everywhere , within your day to day chores, omnipresent , you just can’t see them. He as a normal human couldn’t ever see any,not when his wife started to drift apart from him, not when years back he had to look for affection in the eyes of a girl , not when he should have made the choice that he did not.
The morning of another day has just begun, he was in his room , staring at the ceiling above him , counting the rotations of the fan moving at an atrociously low speed . The circular motions felt almost nothing but spiritually healing causing him to concentrate on his thoughts and align them gracefully. He was never the quite types ever in his life but life had given him numerous reasons to contemplate everything that could have been if only he had been a little more courageous all those years ago.
He lay there calm , composed and content all his sorrows seem to have disappeared at that moment. It was just him and his halcyon heart breathing in serenity. Waking up early was his forte , he loved rising early it was just a habit he had attained from his mother’s genes. He loved the pungent smell of the air around him during the time of dawn.
He rose slowly and was about to get up when a sudden ache in his back made him wince poorly.He saw the dark trying to engulf him in it’s trap while he stood there battling to keep his eyes open. He had forgotten about his little heated argument with the petty thieves yesterday night.He seemed to just not care anymore.
She stood by the room looking at the fan and glaring at him with a confused and infuriated sight. How much in age would he had to grow to actually learn to take care of himself. He looked at her making that horrible expression and he knew he was a goner , nothing would save him from the wrath of Trisha Madaan.
“Are you out of your mind ?” She yelled at him infuriated beyond repair. Darjeeling wasn’t one of those happy to go summery places. The cold of the hills prevented the body to heal on it’s actual pace and his little stunt of switching the fan on would definitely cause him pain.
“Umm..No..I just wanted to switch on the fan..I was feeling hot..And...” He kept fumbling while she stood near the door with folded arms. She knew it would not be appropriate for her to yell or scold him and so she contemplated a minute about what her next move should be.
“Parth it’s October end and it’s Darjeeling , don’t try to act stupid. Please.” She was furious. She’d told him last night that his back will be stiff tomorrow morning and switching on the fan surely wasn’t going to help him. But Parth being his usual self had gone ahead and switched it on anyway.
Coming towards him she looked at his wounds that she had dressed last night,they were in a bad shape. With the antiseptic turning blue/ black and the bandages loosening up she knew it would be absolutely dumb to let his wounds go unattended. And in the shape he was in she understood he must be in pain and it must be hurting him beyond repair.But it hurt her more, not because she still loved him, she did, but because she could see the human she loved disappear behind those tired eyes.
She had lost her heart to him all those years ago and if he was just enough attentive towards her as he was to not giving his family any reasons to be disappointed in him, he would knew how she loved him more than love itself. Seeing him in pain caused an immeasurable amount of ache to her own miserable heart, just like a curse would do.
Trisha was still mercilessly in love with the man sitting right in front of her on the bed, in her house and also in her soul. How she wished he had been considerate enough to listen to her confess before going ahead and acting out in the way he did. She walked forward covering the distance in five strides and touched his forehead hesitantly in order to check for any signs of a temperature and sighed in relief getting none.
She turned her body towards the side table and took out the bandages from the drawer. Slowly she began taking off the off-white strip of bandage rolled around his forehead in the most decent manner only to reveal a deep maroon colored wound. Her eyes shut at once . Even after all these years she could not bear to see him in any sort of agony. How naive it was of her to think that marriage would suck him out of her system. It did not.
Composing herself was a very difficult task , but Trisha was a woman and a woman is trained to never portray her pain on her pretty face since birth, no matter what the intensity . She had done it so many times that it wasn’t a tedious process to her anymore .
She was immune to presenting all those fake smiles and it had become nothing short of a routine for her. He looked at her with his head in an upward north position practically gazing at her grim face, those features which once seemed jubilant had now turned gloomy.
“Wh-Where is..Your hu-husband ?” He finally asked taking his gaze back to the floor . The tattered door mat suddenly became an interesting object to his eyes. He knew it was too sudden and felt almost as if he was intruding but he needed to ask this.
“He’s Dead.” She replied coldly taking off the bandages off his right elbow. He on the other hand was completely astonished . Parth had came to know through Akriti that Trisha had gone ahead and married within six months of graduating college which had come as a shock to him. But he figured he wasn’t at a place to question her decisions and went ahead with his life without checking on her for quite some time.
“Bu-but..How..Can..ho-..” Parth Oberoi never fumbled with his words and yet today a simple truth made him flip so bad. He felt short of words.
“Accident .” Trisha replied clearly showing no interest in continuation of course. He knew it was a futile attempt on his part to keep questioning her about her life when he wasn’t there for her ever. But his heart could not help itself.
“Yo-You married so soon after..After college..I mean....” He started nervously but was cut short by her. Trisha had suddenly taken a step back and gone full defensive on him which made him crawl back.
“Huh !..So did you Parth.” She reasoned as a fact while he looked away.Parth had himself gone ahead and married Sakshi after mere sixteen months of graduation under the reasonings of his family and been happy until it felt absolutely predictive and unnecessary. She turned back to go and as soon as she reached the door her head turned towards him. Sighing for a second she waited for him to look up so she can speak what she has decided.
“You can stay for as long as you wish, or you can go.”
And the Raven had taken her chance.
She’d played with her heart yet again, the game which all ravens play. To not look desperate even when they can do anything to keep the thing they want.
It was time for the rambler to make a choice that whether he’d stay or he’d leave her just as his young self had done all those years ago.
Here You go my Lovely People another chapter on the go !
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Lots of Love,