PAINT ME A HEART

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4. Invitations and secrets

The most exciting detention was over an hour later, and I was thankful and disappointed at the same moment when for the remaining time, Thomas went to help that older girl Daphne after he stated that “I painted his heart” whatever that supposed to mean in his head.

“What a self oriented, annoying... like he is made of confidence!” I said a bit angrily while climbing on the front seat of Linda’s Chevrolet.

“Hi to you too!” She teased, and when I just shoot her a serious look, she added “Ok. Who?”

“Like you have to ask. That... Thomas.” I signed and a second later jumped from the unexpected appearing of someone outside my window.

It was him, of freaking course!

He knocked on the glass, slightly bend down to look at me with his perfect invading my space smile. I turned to Linda to send her “Do you what I was talking about?” look, and she just lifted her shoulders. Another knock on my window followed and I decided to open it and see what was so important to make the school new popular boy to came after me at the parking lot.

“Can I help you?“I said sarcastically, looking at his amused blue eyes.

“Oh, you can do lots of things for me...” He started and began closing the window under his nose. “Okay, okay! Wait!” He said as his smile faded a little.

“Start talking already!” I ordered. Look at me ordering to famous people.

“Hi there” He grinned again, seeing Linda on the driver’s seat next to me.

My window started closing again, but this time it was Linda who was closing it and I have her a wide smile.

“Okay. I just want to ask one thing. Wait!” He pleaded, but this time he was serious.

The glass was left half closed and I waited for him to spill the beans.

“I have a thing tomorrow night at “Cherry on top”. I am inviting you to come and watch it... Both of you. It’s free passing and all.” He said as his lips lifted at the edges in the cutest way possible. “I can save you a seat on our table near the stage.”

I turned to search for Linda’s thoughts, and she just purged her lips not helping me one bit. Turning to him, I was ready to reject his offer when I saw his expression.

“Please. Say you will be there... For support and whatever.” He pleaded with puppy eyes.

I decided to don’t judge too fast and think over it since it might be fun after all.

“Maybe.” I said, proud of myself for not melting under his gazing eyes.

“So you will come?” He leaned so close that he almost mushed his face on the car window.

“I guess you must wait to see.” I gave an evil smile. “Bye now, Alex.” I said and turned to Linda “Going?”

“Who is Alex?” Thomas asked and I repeated in my head what I said to him.

Damn, I talk too fast sometimes. Whatever, it is not offensive, right?

“You... I mean you remind me of him. Alex Band... from The calling?”

He was watching me with a confused face, so I thought he is not getting it. I signed and said their most famous song to try and spin the wheels in his head.

“The calling is the band singing ‘Wherever you go’” I stated, and he shook his head

“I know who they are... and the song. I just never had someone say that to me.” He explained.

“Okay. Glad to be the first then. Bye, Thomas.” I gave him a smile, and he returned it to me.

“See you tomorrow, charming smile.”

Linda drove away, leaving him behind. I signed and turned to her.

“Do you see what I am dealing with?”

“Aham. He sure is ‘self oriented’ and ‘annoying’.” She agreed.

“You have no idea. He even implied that I have a crush on him and when I told him he is delusional, he said that I WILL have a crush on him. Can you imagine?!” I said on a high tone, waving my hands around.

“Seeing how he acted just now, I can imagine him saying that.” She stated, while glancing away from the road. “But I can’t imagine you falling for such douche.”

“Aham, he is a womanizer. Totally not something to aim for.” I convinced myself out loud.

No matter how magnetic his blue eyes are. I must admire them from a distance... like a painting or TV. He is not for me at all.

“Good word for it. ‘Womanizer’! He has interesting T-shirt, though.” She laughed, and I joined her.Wait until I tell you the story!

“Some popular girl can have him. Maybe a cheerleader? Give it time. They will find each other.” I added, but a lump was stuck at my throat.

_______________________________________________________

I was sitting on my bed with back leaning on the board, listening to “Shinedown” on my headphones, painting my next idea for the wall in the corner of the hall. I felt very inspired and was sketching stuff all evening after Linda drove me home.

I told her what Thomas was doing around me, and she rolled her eyes. She agreed with me that he is a womanizer and I have to stay away from him. “He is up to no good!” she said before we switch the topic, and her words were repeating at my head for the last few hours mixed with his “But you have a crush on me!” and “Because you are mine.”

I couldn’t stop thinking about the way he stood leaning at the wall and how his eyes were fixed on me. I can remember his scent and the mint breath. I can’t afford to have my heart broken, because I already feel like I had enough with a mother who doesn’t care enough to come and at least see me. Sometimes I am forgetting her face and go to the social medias to look at her photos.

I decided to listen to the song that made Thomas’s band famous in our town and searched it on my mobile. I couldn’t help but like it. I’ve heard it before, but I really listened it this time. The text was deep and the music was catchy and cool. A little light for my taste, but I can still like it. I closed my eyes and bend my head back on the bed board, soaking in the song.

“... And you knew when you left - you can count on me.

And you lied to yourself, you can’t escape from this.

It’s who you are, who you should let yourself be.

Come back, your true self you can’t dismiss...”

When I think about it, it’s not that deep, I thought and sent the link of the song to Linda. She saw it instantly, like she always does and in a few seconds, she wrote to me.

Linda - “So we are going tomorrow?”

I answered - “Why would we?”

Linda - “The song is not bad. We can have fun and ignore the lead guitar and singer of the band.”

I laughed and knowing me, she sent a laughing emoji, which I returned followed by a message.

“We can go, if you like them, but he will not ignore me.”

Linda - “I do like their music, and I am feeling like clubbing... but if you can’t handle it - we can stay home and write homework.”

One Hell of a choice she gave me! Of course, I can handle it! Not that I hate his special attention to me, I can resist his pathetic try to seduce me. Eventually he will give up, right?

“Prepare yourself for a rock night.” I wrote to her, and she responded with a dancing emoji.

I got up, tossed my headphones and mobile on the bed, and went to my wardrobe, wondering what can I wear to a dance club on a rock night.

I had all kind of band T-shirts with favorite faces on them, a few black jeans and other black clothes. I like black, sue me! I pressed one of my T-shirts on my chest, without wearing it, just to see how it looks. It was like all the others that I own, just with different picture on it. Are my clothes boring? I moved the cloth a bit up, revealing my belly button, thinking how would I look with short and revealing top like those Linda is wearing.

A crazy idea came to my mind and I exited my room to go to the bathroom. I was about to cut one of my older T-shirts so it can resemble a short top and needed scissors from the bathroom cabinet. I went inside, got what I came for and cut the black cloth, ignoring the fact that I might feel sorry for destroying something I loved for so long. When I was done, I got dressed in it and took my time to get used to seeing my tummy like that. Was it ok? Should I cut it more or get the sawing kit?

I turned around a few times and my feet bumped into something. When I bowed to see what it was, I saw the glittering mobile belonging to Tina. I guess she lost it when she was taking a shower or something. I decided to grab it and give it to her.

Walking down the corridor to her room, I thought how foreign it feels. I almost never come here. I knocked a few times, but when no one opened, I just went inside to leave it on her desk. The room was dark, but her laptop was on, giving me enough light to be able to see where I am going. I placed the mobile near her keyboard, but I gave a curious look at what she was doing to her computer.

She had opened a photo on the social media. The chat window was also opened and a message was written, but not sent. I couldn’t help myself, I read it and almost yelled in surprise as I realized what was going on. I impulsively covered my mouth with my hand and double-checked.

Nope, no mistake there! Holy... mother of...!

The message was saying “I never told you what I really think of you. I am not what I let people believe that I am. I could show you how loved you can feel and what I can give to you. I can make you really happy... If you let me, I can show you who I really am, but I am so afraid that you will reject me”.

What actually puzzled me wasn’t the message itself, but to who it was written, no matter that it wasn’t sent. The picture that was opened belonged to no other, but Sarah... Steven’s current girlfriend. Holly Molly! Who would knew that Tina was a lesbian?

“What the Hell are you doing in my room and who gave you the permission to look at my things?!” The angry childish voice of my evil step-sister announced her presence.

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