2 Months later
I sat eating waffles watching some show I wasn’t paying attention to. It’s been two months, nine weeks to be exact, since I have last seen Maximus. I know I shouldn’t be pining over him since we were never in a relationship but for some reason I can’t help myself.
I know the weeks since he was gone… that’s what you call pathetic with a capital ‘P’.
In my defence, he promised me a date.
Hearing a knock, I got up from my pity party to see who was there, grabbing another waffle on the way. Another knock came making me groan. “I’m coming! Hold your horses, dam.”
Looking through my peep hole I find Anthony on the other side making me sigh and open the door. Looks like I can’t mope anymore. When I came in view, he shook his head at my appearance. “Looks who is up, thought you were never going to open the door.”
Rolling my eyes, I close the door behind him as he already came inside without needing any invitation. “Always so impatient, hey that’s my waffle put it down!”
He laughed ignoring me and sat on the couch digging into my breakfast. “You have one in your hand.”
“Yeah well I’m hungry.” I muttered joining him on my couch taking back the waffle. “And I made these for me. You want one, make your own.”
Anthony chuckled leaning back taking up the remote. “And still moping over tall, dark and Italian I see. When I told you to enjoy the bad boy, I didn’t mean get attached. Didn’t you pay any attention to my ‘casual isn’t casual for long’ talk?”
Scowling I took an angry bite into my waffle, munching on it making Anthony laugh waiting for me to say something in my defence. “I listened, and when he went away for work we agreed to take space to think about what we want. If we want casual then we might need to rewrite our agreement. Stop looking so smug.”
“Someones grouchy.” Anthony muttered.
Adjusting on the couch I continue eating and let out a groan when I finally found a comfortable position. “I need to layoff these waffles, I think I have gained like ten pounds last couple weeks.”
He gave me a cautious look over before taking out his phone sending a text and then looked back to me with a strange look. Stopping mid chew, I snapped hoping we aren’t going to have the ‘casual sex with Maximus’ talk again. “What?”
Anthony shrugged. “Nothing, Cody is coming over by the way.”
Chuckling I leaned back and looked at my plate noticing I’m out of waffles. “Tell him to bring me food. But healthy food, if I keep eating the way I am, I will for sure gain ten pounds.”
He hummed putting on John Wick making me groan.
Ten minutes later there was a knock at the door and I turned to see Cody walking into my apartment with a weird look. “Hey guys, uh brought what you wanted me to babe.”
“Food?” I jump taking the bag in his hand. My movements stopping when I took out what was in it. “I didn’t ask for this.”
I looked to Anthony who stood up. “That’s why he said ‘babe’. I asked him to get it, you need to take it.”
I shook my head. “I’m not pregnant.”
Anthony shrugged. “Well you have gained some weight, threw up all last week and you have been kinda hormonal. You can’t stop eating, like you jumped over your couch at the thought that Cody had food. I think you need to take it.”
Shaking my head, I stared at the pregnancy tests in my hand. No. I can’t be pregnant.
“First, I haven’t gained that much weight just some in my stomach and boobs but I have been eating a lot of take out. Second, I’m on birth control.” I muttered. “I’m one of the most efficient birth controls and you don’t get pregnant on it. Not pregnant.”
Cody clicked his tongue. “They aren’t a 100% effective, there is always a small percentage. I mean you also should use condoms to protect against STIs but that can be a talk for another time…”
“Another time Doctor. Stella, don’t you get periods, nature’s pregnancy detection?” Anthony asked.
Everything slowed down around me as the weight of the pregnancy tests in my hands got heavier with every second. I have been feeling different. “Not with my birth control…”
Cody bumped his hip with mine with a warm smile. “Hey you might not be pregnant, take the test to shut up Anthony, then we can go out to eat.”
I tried to smile but the anxiety was building up and the tests felt like they will burn me. Anthony walked over, pushing me towards the bathroom. “Oh, pee on those things already.”
My body moved without me realizing it. I don’t even know what was going on anymore, I barely registered walking into the bathroom, closing the door and taking a breath.
This is a mistake, Anthony is crazy. Take the test and I can go back to moping around.
But I have been gaining weight. My boobs feel sore. I’ve been emotional. Throwing up.
Taking another breath my chest tightened. I walked over to the toilet pulling my pants down and sat on the toilet.
Time went by painfully slow as I took the two separate tests out and peed on them. Needing to get away I tossed the tests in the sink, pulled my pants up, flushed the toilet and sat on the bathroom floor.
Reaching over I set a timer on my phone.
Breathe in, breathe out.
Every second seemed to pass like an hour. The timer on my phone ticking away and I couldn’t move or think. It was as if time itself was suspended, leaving the future of my life balancing on a wall ready to tip one way versus the other.
Hearing it go off I press stop but didn’t move. The tests were only a few feet away but it felt like miles.
I don’t want to look. I don’t want to know what has been so obvious.
Hearing a knock, I still didn’t move. “I can’t look.” I called out allowing the door to open, Anthony came in sliding down on the floor beside me. “Do it for me?”
He gave me a reassuring smile and reached up picking up the two tests. Taking a deep breath, I shook my hands to get some nervous energy out, my teeth biting into my lips.
“Well? I don’t need any suspense.” I said in a full blow freak out.
Anthony gave me a small smile. “Cody and I better be the God-parents.”
Everything stopped besides my heart which pounded so hard I thought it was going to beat out of my chest. “I’m... I’m pregnant?”
He nodded slowly. “Yeah Stella, you are.”
Silence engulfed the room while I tried to process what this meant. Pregnant. Pregnant with someone I barely know. How would this even work?
“How did this happen?”
Anthony sighed. “Well when a man and a woman like each other they have something called sex-”
I groaned hitting my head onto the wall. “Anthony! Not what I meant, I’m not asking for a sex lesson.”
“Well I thought you might need it and now you need to decide what you want and what you will tell Maximus if you want to.” He replied, his voice soft.
“I haven’t seen him in months and now I am supposed to say, ‘hi welcome back, by the way your sperm made it past my 98% effective birth control and now I’m pregnant’?” I exclaimed looking at the pregnancy tests that were mocking me for the 2 percent chance.
Anthony shrugged. “I guess, it’s not really a topic you can ease into.”
“Anthony! You’re not helping!” I hit my head on the wall again, my mind running a mile a minute.
He laughed earning a smack on his leg from me. “I’m sorry Stella, this isn’t something I have to deal with or ever have a conversation with my partner about. In fact, when homophobes tell me that being gay is a choice, I say ’yes, by loving a man I never have to worry about pregnancy scares.”
I snort and look to him. “Really?”
He shrugged. “Yep. Cody doesn’t approve but what can I say, humour is my coping. But back on you, take the day to process and schedule a doctor’s appointment, Cody will know a good Obstetrician for you to see where he works. Get to telling Maximus when you’re ready.”
Taking a deep breath, I hold it for a few seconds then slowly release it.
“I uh, I think I want to be alone to process.” I said in full shock, my mind spinning trying to think of what to do next. “The silence may help me figure this out.”
Anthony nodded reaching over to kiss my forehead. “I’ll call you later Stella, if you need anything don’t hesitate to ask.”
With that I was left alone, my hand slowly going over my stomach trying to think how that hell this happened. I know how it happened but I just don’t understand how. I never thought about having kids and now I’m pregnant. That’s a life change, a major life change that you have to be prepared for since you are responsible for another life.
I have never even raised a dog!
Barely thinking I picked up my phone, hitting the number I have been fighting pressing for months.
“Leave a message.” Maximus said into the voicemail hearing the beep.
Taking a breath, I still didn’t think about whether or not to have this is conversation or how I would even start it if he had picked up.
“Hey Maximus its uh, its Stella. I know you are still in Italy or England on business and all but um if you could give me a call that would be great. There is something we need to talk about and I don’t even know how to begin. So just uh, please give me a call Maximus. It could be a positive thing.” With that I hung up.
My hand was still on my stomach, reality crashing down on me. “Holy Fuck.”
I stared at the wall feeling as if I was under water. I didn’t come from a good family, I wouldn’t know the first thing about being a good mother.
What type of future is that for a child?
I know I will put the kid first but what about Maximus? Would he stay? Holy fuck, would he think I got pregnant on purpose so that I could secure him and his bank account?
Like my mother?
Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath, held it for five seconds then released it. I continued deep breathing for a few minutes until I got the panic under control.
Firsts things first, I need to go to the doctors to get the pregnancy confirmed. Everything else can wait.
Hearing a knock on my apartment’s door I groaned pulling myself up. “Oh, what now? If you don’t have food then I’m not letting you in!”
Walking to the door I didn’t look into the peek-hole assuming it was Anthony and Cody again.
Pulling the door open I didn’t have time to register the fact that I didn’t recognize the men in front of me before a cloth went around my nose.
In an instant I began to panic and try to get the arms that were wrapped around me off. What is going on! Who are they?!
My hands went up to fight against the sudden assault, my heart beating so fast it’s going to break out of my chest. The men in front of me begin to blur and my head began to spin.
A second later, everything was black.