It has been almost 4 month since I arrived here through a foreign language teacher program. Yes I am indeed a fan of Korean drama and I do find most Korean actors attractive, however I did not come to Korea due to that reason, but because it was the only option I had if I wanted a good paying job. You see where I am from finding a job is like finding a needle in a haystack. So I was like what the fuck I am a recent graduate and I am not in the mood to go through the depressing and unfair process of finding a job in my country. Why don't I just try opportunities outside my domain then. That is when I came across this program that I am currently participating in.
I have to say it has been a very refreshing experience. The differences between Korea and my country made this whole experience even more worth it. Even though the language barrier maybe be an issue but I find it to be a good way to challenge myself. Besides that I find that I am not a very ideal race here which was one more reason I choose Asia, black people were not that ideal which meant I won't have to deal with dirty old married man who will be annoying me trying to get my attention, I am happy and content for being so unideal here it gives me a peace of mind.
Even though I might not be attractive I might say I draw a lot of interest and attention due to my skin colour, height, hair which I am currently wearing as a short ladies cut and buy short for my race I mean shaved to a certain length. You see I am 160 cm pretty much short to them for a black women as they expect all black people to be tall compared to them, I weigh 63 kgs which is considered fat according to them but I bet in my country my body will be perfect. As it believed a bit of fat is necessary in a women. lastly I am pear shaped with curves and double D sized breast. So you've guessed it I just don't meet their requirements I'm just a total different bred. Though I am happy and content. Being unnoticed was the main reason why I came here, the fact that I can move around a bunch of men like I am air no rude or sexual comments thrown at me if I don't wanna speak to them. Isn't this heaven!
If you wondering I'm a true African as African as they can be. Both my parents are African from Africa I'm also born and bred there. That means I have melanin a lot of it at that matter. My mom my be a bit light skinned but unfortunately I am not, both our skin colours are shades apart. I'm a lot darker than her you can say I am a light brown while she is a darker shade of caramel. My hair is 4C it grows a lot slower than other textures of black hair. Some may lable me as a 100% black but I doubt that for some reason. When my hair is compared to other 4C hair it is a lot different it way softer, curlier that sometimes it curls up to the point that it is hard and painful to comb out. Yep pure black hair struggle.
I have many insecurities about myself. I wasn't always used to be fat or thick as some put it. I used to be 45kgs can you believe it, so due to that I am a bit insecure about the way I look. Sometimes I wish my boobs were smaller, my waist was a bit smaller and leaner, smaller curves, ass to conclude smaller everything like literally even a smaller nose will be a jackpot. To add on that my body is not the same shade like God what were you think, my face is darker than the whole of my body, whenever I wear something that will show my legs people always seem to not believe that they are mine. I can say that maybe they are two shades lighter than my face. But who cares about insecurities we will always have them no matter how we look. I had them when I was leaner and I still have them now when I'm thicker.
I'm 22 never dated but I've kissed a few guys most of them I was drunk, I always get some courage whenever I touch on some hard liquor. Still have my v card with me which is an accomplishment, where I come from if there was a medal I would have gotten one too. You see there are a lot of things I ran away from in my country unemployment, gender based emotional abuse, did I include crime, nepotism, corruption you can name it, to sum it all up almost all the sociecomomic problems are present from where I come from. I came here for freedom and I'm not expecting much. Even a 1% greater from what I was living with will suffice.
Currently I'm at a grocery store here in Korea buying some items I've ran out of, I have to say grocery shopping is not one of my favourite things to do, because it means getting out of the house and bumping to people and koreans seem to be doing that a lot and I've given up on expecting them to apologise. Like in my country we say sorry a lot even if it is not necessary for us to do so. For example you want to get someone's attention you say sorry, wanna pass through you say sorry, bumped to someone you fuckin say sorry it is just in us. However a girl gotta do what a girl gotta do if she wanna remain full. Currently I can't use the online shopping app which delivers for you. Last time I tried using it let just say it was a disaster not meant to be repeated.
Right now I'm walking in one of the aisle in the store to be honest I'm not even paying attention to what I'm doing, I'm busy with my phone. I'm on Instagram looking up at some memes to be specific memes from my country. I don't wanna lie and say I don't miss home I miss it and a lot. All this while I'm busy laughing I'm just in my own world I've forgotten that I'm in a grocery store full of people and I'm sure I look like a crazy person right now but I don't care the memes are just too funny to care. Before I know it I was done with picking out my items I joined the line to pay, still I did not pay attention to my surroundings, I just continued to look at my phone and chuckling a little bit loudly once in a while. I payed took my bags and started walking home I wasn't staying far from the grocery store, while I was walking I saw a McDonald's and decided to just buy takeaways instead of cooking when I get home that will be too much I'm already tired as we speak.