#10 Worst timing ever
“I slept with Dshawn again.”
I turn around with wide eyes, staring at my best friend. She’s sitting on my couch and I’m in the kitchen, getting us a beer and a glass of water, since Caroline doesn’t want any alcohol right now. Why would she, if she’s still high on riding the guy that I kissed a few days ago?
“When?” I ask, trying to sound curious instead of in a total state of panic. Please tell me that they’re not falling madly in love. Please tell me I didn’t kiss my best friend’s current boyfriend. Ex I can deal with, but this…
“Last weekend,” she says, taking the glass of ice-cold water from me with a smile. “Remember that I told you I had two dates in one day?”
“Yeah, Paul and Darius,” I recall. “You never told me what happened with Darius.”
That’s because we hardly talked this week, of course. We called and texted, but we didn’t really talk, because I knew I had to fess up about kissing Dshawn and I didn’t want to just spit it out over the phone. I was planning on doing it today, when she’s over here for our night out anyway, but now I’m not so sure if that’s a good idea anymore.
“Darius was a complete waste of time.” She rolls her eyes, raking her hands through her light brown hair. “I wanted to have a one-night stand for once and just let loose, and he got me to his apartment in like… thirty minutes, tops. But then it turned out that he thought that I wasn’t even worth five minutes of his time to get me off and he was rude, so I took off.”
“Asshole,” I say, just praying that she will get on with the story. I don’t care about goddamn Darius. I want to know when and how and why she was screwing Dshawn. And if she’s planning on doing it again. “How does Dshawn fit into this?”
“I got drunk and texted him after that disastrous date, and he drove up on Saturday. And then we had sex.” Caroline laughs a little at the memory and I hear myself asking her how it was, even though all I can think about is the word Saturday. So that’s why he forgot all about having lunch with me and didn’t even text me about it. He was too busy driving three fucking hours for a booty call with my best friend. My friend who is telling me all the dirty details about sleeping with Dshawn. I try to listen, hearing something about him jizzing on her chest, handcuffs and nipple clamps.
“You go girl,” I say weakly, knowing that I need to at least pretend to be engaged in the story.
“And then,” Caroline says, smiling sadly, “I started crying.”
“Wait – what?” I lean forward, my elbows on my knees. “You cried after having sex with Dshawn?”
“Yeah, I was totally sleeping with him for the wrong reasons,” she explains. “He was actually really sweet and comforted me. We talked for hours about Nathan and all my fucked-up feelings and then we went furniture shopping.”
“Furniture shopping?” I mean, Caroline’s stories are always a little hard to follow, a bit on the rambling side of the spectrum, but this is a whole new level of weirdness.
When she starts explaining, I actually listen this time. When she and Nathan met, he was clearing out his parents’ apartment because his father died and his mother moved out, and he ended up giving Caroline most of their old furniture. Dshawn insisted that Caroline needed to break free from him and focus on herself for a while – smart guy – and he helped her pick out new furniture and put it together. She rambles on about some minor details before dropping a bombshell.
“And I found out that Dshawn actually loved me.”
“He loves you?” I ask, feeling like I might just throw up. How can he love her and kiss me a few days after being in bed with her? This can’t be true.
“No,” Caroline says, frowning at me. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, yeah, you were saying Dshawn loves you?”
“No, I said he loved me. He was in love with me back in college when we dated. I didn’t even know that! I mean, we broke up and stayed friends. I thought we both decided to go our separate ways, but turns out he actually had a hard time watching me move on with Danny.”
I roll my eyes at her. “Of course he loved you, silly girl. That was obvious. And you started a serious relationship with one of his best friends, someone he ran into at classes every day. Of course he had a hard time with that!”
“You knew?” Caroline shakes her head and laughs. “Of course you knew. You always know everything. How do you do that? You’re like… the relationship whisperer. Or the sex whisperer. Or like… you’re like Donna!”
“Who?” I ask, frowning.
“Donna, from Suits.” She rambles on about a TV show, but I can’t take it and interrupt her.
“Caroline, are you into Dshawn?” I ask, needing an answer more than I’ve ever needed anything in my life.
“No,” she says with a frown. “Of course not. I just needed something to snap out of my funk and he did that for me. He talked to me and held me while I cried. He stayed the night, but he was in the other room, not in my bed or anything. In fact, I think all sexual tension between us is totally gone after that last fuck we had. I don’t know, I think we just needed to get that out of our system or something.”
“Okay. So you’re friends now?” When she nods, I clap my hands together. “We should invite him to go out with us! He’s the party king after all. Oh, we’ll have so much fun!” I just need to see with my own two eyes that there’s truly nothing between them anymore, so I can feel better about what I did. About breaking girl code.
Caroline agrees and I text Dshawn, making it clear that he’s got choice in the matter. He’s meeting us, whether he wants to or not. We meet at the same club we ran into him a month ago, one of his favorite places – and one of mine too. I can’t believe he and I didn’t run into each other before these past couple of weeks. Now he’s everywhere, or so it seems.
Dshawn throws me a weird look when I greet him a little too enthusiastic. He nods in Caroline’s direction, who is getting herself a beer and shots for the two of us. I shake my head and his eyes widen. He moves closer, his mouth close to my ear so I can hear him over the music.
“You didn’t tell her?”
“It’s not like you told me about fucking her!” I yell back, angry that he’s making me feel even worse about what I did. Hollister was right. I’m a dirty slut, and not in a good way.
Caroline returns with our shots and we both pour them down our throats, our eyes locked as we both try not to wince, trying to show the other who’s boss. He immediately gets us each two more shots, and I can’t help but feel like he gets me, somehow. I need the booze the cut loose and forget about all this crazy shit. I just need some guy – who isn’t him – to grind against.
It doesn’t take me long to find a handsome specimen to dance with, although he doesn’t do it for me. I don’t think anyone will. Not tonight. So I drink more shots and keep dancing with him, glad to have some company while Dshawn dances with Caroline. To be fair, there don’t seem to be any sparks flying between them. Even when they put their arms around each duting for a slow song, I can tell that there’s nothing going on between them.
I feel better, but also worse. Better because that means that when he kissed me, he was probably not thinking about her. And worse because it’s stupid that I am relieved. I still broke girl code and I’m not telling my best friend the truth. I stink.
I grind against the guy I’m dancing with, praying that he will be able to stop my mind from going a hundred miles an hour. Just when he spins me around and wants to kiss me, I hear a muffled cry behind me, so I turn around and am surprised to see Caroline’s ex-boyfriend Danny standing there, yelling at Dshawn. He looks ghastly in dirty clothes and with dark circles underneath his eyes. He’s drunk as a skunk for sure.
Caroline grabs Danny’s arm and pulls him with her, toward the exit. Dshaws and I lock eyes before following our friend and her ex into the street. It’s cold and I shiver, which causes Dshawn to look at me for a moment before turning his attention back on Danny.
“You!” Danny yells, sounding deranged while he screams at Dshawn like a crazy person. “Why the fuck are my friends texting me pictures of you dancing with my girl?”
Caroline calmly reminds him that they broke up a year ago and that she’s not his girl anymore. Dshawn chimes in, assuring him that he and Caroline are just friends. Danny slumps against the wall, looking even worse than he already did, complaining that he’s not doing so well.
“Fucking asshole,” I mutter.
“Damn right,” Dshawn replies, shaking his head at the guy that used to be his friend back in college and who is his colleague at the IT firm now.
Caroline takes a few steps away from him and turns to both of us. “I’ll talk to him,” she says.
“Are you sure?” I ask her, grabbing her arm and looking her in the eye. I may be drunk, but I’m not stupid. I know that Danny hurt her and that her relationship with him left her broken for a long time. I don’t want her to fall back into that dark black hole.
“Yeah, I’ll be fine. It’s not the first time I’ve seen him drunk,” she insists.
“Car, you don’t want to be alone with him when he’s like this,” Dshawn argues. “Look at him… he’s out of it.”
“Exactly,” Caroline agrees. “He’s barely able to keep himself from falling over. He’s really mad at you, Dshawn. I think it will be easier if you just go inside with Shaughna. Go dance, have fun. This will only take a moment, I promise. I know him, he just needs to talk to me.”
I know the look on her face well. We’re not going to be able to talk her out of this. Besides, Danny has never been a dangerous drunk. She’ll be fine. It takes Caroline another minute to convince Dshawn that he really doesn’t need to stick around, until finally he budges and follows me back inside.
“She’s got the worst taste in men,” Dshawn tells me as we order two more shots.
“Yes,” I agree, giving him a pointed look. “She does.”
He laughs at that. “Come on, you have to admit that I’m a decent kisser. And a great dancer.”
I down my shot and his as well, flipping him the finger. “Let’s go dance then.”
He is right, of course. He is an amazing dancer. He’s better than any other guy in here. I think he’s even better than Aston, and that guy has some moves for sure. I’m too drunk to keep up with him, falling over my feet and bumping into him. Stupid heels.
He grabs me to steady me, his hands lingering just a tad too long.
“Stop it,” I yell in his ear over the music.
“Stop what?” he asks, his breath hot on my cheek.
“Stop tempting me,” I reply, shivering from how close his lips are already.
He smirks, pressing a kiss to my cheek. “I’m not doing anything.”
Don’t do it, my brain is yelling at me. At the same time, my hands are already grabbing his face and crashing my lips against his. The moment our tongues start that all-too-familiar dance, I feel better than I have all night. He pulls me flush against his body, grabbing my ass through the tin material of my dress.
Just when I’m about to bite his lower lip, I feel a hand on my shoulder. We break away, breathing hard, to see a guy I’ve never seen before standing there, yelling something about Caroline.
“What?” I yell back, my mind still reeling and my lips burning from the kiss.
“Caroline is hurt!” the guy yells again, motioning for us to follow him.