#23 Go for it
I spend Christmas Eve with my mother and her boyfriend, then go over for brunch at my father’s place the next day. They got divorced when I was 14, which makes holidays my least favorite part of the year. They’re always arguing who will get me for what day, even though I’m 25 already and I can make up my own damn mind. I love them, but they’re not making life easy for me sometimes.
Them being divorced is part of the reason why I was so eager to move in with Melchior after graduation from high school. Before he started abusing me, he gave me a place to be without having to explain to one parent why I was spending time with the other. Not that I’m blaming my parents for what happened, not at all, but their divorce didn’t help matters. Them refusing to talk to each other surely contributed to them not figuring out that something was very wrong with me. Caroline was the only one who didn’t buy my excuses about falling down or cutting myself. She was the one who saved me from getting scarred even worse.
This year, I’m even more on edge because my entire body seems to be screaming for Dshawn. I just want it to be New Year’s Eve already.
When the night finally arrives and I hear Caroline’s car pull up in front of my apartment, I’m ready to face her. Well, sort of ready. As ready as I can be.
I open the door with a glass of champagne in each hand. Caroline smiles widely and takes one glass from me, hugging me tightly.
“You’re not even remotely ready to go out yet,” she obverses as she sees that I’m still in my pink fluffy robe and my hair isn’t done yet.
I shrug. “No need to rush, right?”
“I could really need a night out, get my mind out of the gutter,” she grumbles as she follows me into the living room and flops down on the couch, sipping her drink.
Damn. She’s in a foul mood. And there’s only one sure-fire way to snap her out of that. My personal favorite way to get through anything life throws at me. “Girl, we need to find you a man. Someone hot.”
She rolls her eyes at me. “I don’t want someone new. Not even for a one-night stand. I just want Nathan. And if I can’t have him, then I just want to be on my own.”
I knew that she and Nathan got back together, but I’m not sure how I feel about that man. I still haven’t met him, which is unusual. I’ve always met every single one of Caroline’s boyfriends within a week of her meeting them. This guy is 41, divorced, has a daughter, was in jail for two years and could cost Caroline her job. I need to look him in the eye, to meet him, to make sure I won’t need to rescue my friend from him like she had to do for me seven years ago.
“And you’re sure he’s a good guy?” I ask. I don’t want her to end up the way I did after Melchior. And Melchior had no red flags the first weeks, whereas Nathan has red flags coming out of his ears from day one. “He’s not gonna hurt you?”
“I told you that you don’t have to worry about that.”
We chat for a while and it becomes obvious that those two are have major communication issues. He’s not calling her and her solution is to just mope around. I convince her to call him, but he’s with his ex-wife, so that doesn’t solve matters. Finally, I just steal his number from her phone when she’s busy doing her make-up and I tell him to get his ass over here to make sure she knows just how important he is to her. I threaten to find her someone better, younger, hotter. Always works like a charm. Caroline has no idea how often I used to pull shit like this when she was still with Danny when they were having issues.
Maybe I’m not the worst friend in the world after all.
Still, I do need to tell her about Dshawn. First, I tell myself to do it while we do our hair and make-up, but I choke, so I drink some more champagne. Then I decide to tell her while we get dressed, but I’m still too nervous, so more champagne it is. My phone buzzes and it’s Dshawn, asking me if I told her yet and if we’re coming to his party. I take another swig of champagne.
Finally, when we’re in the hallway, about to leave, I know that it’s now or never.
“Spit it out,” she orders before I can even say anything. She knows me too damn well.
“I was thinking…” I pause and decide to start by bringing up the party. “We could just go the club to celebrate this godawful year being over, but my friends – your friends – are actually at…”
“Yeah, at…?” she presses, getting a little annoyed with me.
I take a deep breath. “At Dshawn’s.”
“Oh, sure, let’s go,” she agrees immediately, reaching for the door.
“Erm… I have to tell you something.” This is it. Come on, Shaughna.
“You like Dshawn,” Caroline says with a little smile on her face.
“Oh my God,” I breathe. “Did he tell you?” He said that he didn’t call her after we slept together, right? Did he end up picking up the phone somewhere between our talk and now?
“Tell me what?” Caroline looks at me while I fumble around for the right words. “Oh, you slept with him!”
“I’m so sorry!” I tell her. She’s still smiling a little, so I guess she can’t be all that mad. “I should have told you right away. Well, I shouldn’t even have done it without talking to you first. It’s just…”
“You like him,” she states.
“Yeah, I do. And I don’t know how that happened or when it happened or why I don’t seem to be able to say no to him,” I try to explain. “I kissed him once before that time you saw us and I felt so guilty… And then you got beaten up by Danny because I was too damn distracted because of Dshawn, and then… then you said you were okay with it, but I wasn’t sure if you really meant it, so I promised myself to stay away from him… I just somehow ended up in his bed, and goddamned Caroline, he is like the motherfucking king of oral, and it was so hard to stay away from him after that, and I didn’t, not really. I mean, I didn’t sleep with him again, but I did kiss him, like, a couple dozen times. Or maybe a hundred. I don’t know, I wasn’t really counting. I’m not even sure if we’re just going to be fuckbuddies or friends-with-benefits or maybe something more, and I’m not even sure if I’m ready for any of that, but he’s got a motorcycle! You know how I feel about those. And his lips are so-”
Caroline interrupts me with a grin. “Go for it.”
“Really? Aren’t you mad at me?” I can’t believe she’s so cool about this. She truly doesn’t seem bothered at all.
“Of course not. He’s a good guy.” She hugs me tightly and then she says the words I needed to hear more than anything: “You’re the best friend ever. I think it’s great.”
Thank God. I squeal and jump away from her, opening the front door so we can finally leave. So I can get my cute ass over to Dshawn’s and kiss him all over his gorgeous face.
The minute we get to his place, I push through the sweaty dancing bodies to find him. His face lights up when he sees me, just like it has been doing for weeks now, I find myself grinning like a madwoman, just wanting to tell him that we can go on that date he promised me.
“I told her,” I squeal when he jumps off the table he was standing on to hug both of us.
“Oh shit.” Dshawn immediately start to apologize to Caroline, who is smiling and shaking her head.
“She’s okay with it!” I yell in his face.
“Really?” He puts an arm around me and nuzzles his nose against my neck, making me shiver. “I told you so,” he says into my ear, making sure their Caroline can’t hear us. “And with her permission, I’m going to eat you out until you see stars again.”
Fucking hell. My panties are already drenched.
Before I can respond, the music gets turned up and one of Dshawn’s friends pushes shots into our hands. Caroline almost chokes on hers – lightweight amateur – but Dshawn and I down them with ease, grinning at each other. When Caroline is starting to dance with two other girls, letting them twirl her around for a moment, I lean into Dshawn and kiss him softly. I want to do so much more, but I don’t feel completely comfortable sucking his face off with her so close.
I dance with her and some other people for a while, but I can tell that Caroline’s mind is on Nathan. Hopefully that stupid fucker will get his ass over here soon, like he promised me. I want my girl to have someone to snog at midnight. She deserves it more than anyone.
I’m already pretty buzzed from all the champagne and shots, but I move to the kitchen to get myself another glass anyway. It’s so lovely to just be guiltfree now that Caroline knows about me and Dshawn. Plus, I just like alcohol. A lot.
“You look fucking hot in that dress,” Dshawn’s voice says in my ear before I feel him press himself up against me from behind, his hands on my stomach. “I’ve been wanting to grab that ass of yours all night.” To prove it, he moves one hand to pinch my ass cheek.
“Dude!” I complain half-heartedly. I love it when he grabs me and says dirty things in my ear, but it’s a bit soon for Caroline to see us like this, isn’t it?
“She’s outside,” he tells me with a smile in his voice. “Just turn around and kiss me, you sexy little thing.”
I spin around in his arms and his lips crash down on mine immediately. It feel him push me up against the fridge while one of his hands find my breast. Just in time, I realize we’re still at the party, with plenty people around to see us, even if Caroline is outside. I don’t care who knows that we’re sleeping with each other, but they don’t actually have to see it.
When I pull away, Dshawn is breathing hard, his cock so hard that it’s impossible for me not to feel it press against me. “Bedroom?” I say into his ear.
I don’t have to tell him that more than once. He pulls me after him and pushes open the door to his bedroom, only to reveal two people making out on his bed. Their clothes are still on, thank God.
“My bed!” he roars. “Get the fuck out!”
The guy sits up and grins at us. It’s Aston. Of course it is.
“Hey, Shaughna!” the girl says, sitting up as well. She has blonde hair with purple highlights and looks vaguely familiar.
“Francesca?” I ask in surprise. Aston and Francesca. Oh wow. Okay.
Aston pulls Francesca to her feet and pulls her with him back to the living room. Before he shuts the door, he winks at me and says: “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, babe.”
“That means I can do anything!” I yell at the now closed door.
When I turn around, Dshawn is already on the bed, his shirt off. “Anything?” he asks, looking at me like he wants to devour me whole.
I lock the door behind me and pull my dress over my head, dropping it on the floor. I kick off my heels, my bra and panties following suit. Dshawn follows my lead and finishes getting undressed. The sounds of the loud party that’s going on in every single apartment in the building thuds through the room, making this all seem very surreal.
“Come here,” he orders, holding out his hand to me. “Lie down.”
I stretch out on the bed, more than ready for him to fuck me into oblivion. I don’t need any foreplay tonight, and I already hardly need any on a bad day. Of course, Dshawn has different ideas. Just like last time, he goes down on me, his tongue and fingers working in perfect harmony to get me off. I cry out when the first wave of pleasure hits me. I know what to expect this time, but it still blows my mind how can easily give me an orgasm that lasts however long he wants it to.
When he finally decides that I’ve had enough pleasure for now, he moves his body over me and pushes right into me, grunting when he feels my walls tighten around him. He feels even better than he did last time. I come apart after only a few thrusts, making it hard for him to keep himself from following right behind me.
“Are you always this horny?” he asks, kissing me while I regain some sliver of control. “Or am I just catching you on good days?”
“They don’t call me Slutty Shaughna for nothing,” I respond with a grin.
“You’re not slutty,” he argues, thrusting deep in me with a grunt. “You’re just too good at sex. If every girl could reach an orgasm as easily as you can, no one would ever get anything done in this world. They would all want nothing but dick, all day long.”
I’m laughing at him, even though he’s still fucking me hard. My laugh turns into a moan, which turns into another orgasm.
“Trust me,” I grunt, “not all guys are muscular black biker sex gods like you.”
“You added a word,” Dshawn notices immediately. “Sex god, huh?”
I can’t even reply anymore, he’s too deep in me, shuddering as he finds his own relief and fills me up completely. He rolls off, pulling me along so he can hug me from the side, breathing hard. His cum is leaking out of me, staining the sheets.
“Fuck,” I curse when I realize what that means. “We forgot-”
“-the condom,” he finishes for me. “Crap. Are you on the pill?”
“I’ve got an IUD.”
“Good.” He sounds relieved. “Are you clean?”
“Yeah, I am.”
He kisses my forehead. “Me too.”
Hmm. Part of me feels weird that he knows that. It means he got tested. And yes, that is very good and responsible, and it means that he didn’t just give me an STD, but it also reminds me that he’s been with other girls before me. Many, probably. And even though I’m not one to talk since I’ve been with my fair share of guys, I still don’t like the thought of him with anyone else.
“Let’s get back out there,” I propose, not wanting to stay here and think about my guy fucking other girls with or without a condom. “Let’s dance.”
He nods and pulls on his clothes, his eyes following my every move. He helps me get my dress back on and pulls his fingers through my hair until it doesn’t look like we just had sex. Oh well, we’ll be walking out of his bedroom, so I’m pretty sure people will know what we were up to.
We’re back to dancing just in time, since it’s ten minutes before midnight. Caroline appears at our side shortly after and we all cheer when the ball drops. I kiss Dshawn, happy that I have someone to kiss at midnight, not realizing how awful I’m being to Caroline until it’s too late. I give her a peck on the lips as well, laughing when she grimaces at the alcohol on my breath.
And then, finally, her man lives up to his word. She shows me a text from Nathan telling her to meet him outside and I give her a push in the direction of the door. Finally.
When I turn around to see where Dshawn is, he’s on his coffee table, showing off his moves while his friends cheer him on. He throws me a wink and offers me his hand. Oh hell, why not? I join him and put my arms around his neck while he grabs my ass and starts grinding against me.
“We just had sex!” I yell into his ear when I feel him growing against me. “How can you be hard already?”
“Muscular sexy biker god black…” He shakes his head, unable to find the correct order of all those words. He’s drunker than I thought. “You know what I mean!”
I laugh and just go back to dancing with him, quite enjoying how he feels against me, the effect I have on him. It’s always nice when someone finds you sexy, and when that someone is Dshawn… Hmm. I’m not complaining.
Just when Dshawn pulles me in for kiss number three hundred seventy-five or whatever number we are on by now, I hear Caroline’s voice yelling up at us. Guess she didn’t go straight home with her hot daddy after all. In fact, when I look down I see that there is a smoking hot older guy standing next to her, holding her hand and looking around the room like he’s never been at a party before.
“Carebear! Is that Nathan?” Dshawn jumps down from the coffee table and he messes up Caroline’s hair, drawing attention to the deplorable state it was already in. “What did you do to your hair? You have sex hair!”
I scream when I realize he’s right and I pull Caroline in for a hug. “Did you just let Nathan defile you in his car or something?” I ask, beaming at her. “Girl, I’m so proud of you. Dshawn and I were just shagging in his room an hour ago! We’re really getting our freak on tonight, Caroline!”
She just laughs and pushes me off to get back to Nathan. They look pretty cute together, truth be told. He may be a criminal, but at least he is hot.
Nathan actually sticks around to party, slowly growing more and more accustomed to the way we all move our bodies to the beat, grinding on each other. Dshawn and I make it our mission to get him drunk, handing him drink after drink and giving each other high fives when he downs every single one of them. To be fair, we are both drunk as well, but we hold our liquor a lot better than Nathan does. He looks like he’s about the fall down by the time Caroline pulls him outside with her, ready to go home.
Dshawn’s party lasts for a couple more hours, and the sun is already coming up when we’re finally alone in his apartment. Well, almost empty. When I open the door to his bedroom to just collapse onto the bed, I discover that Aston is balls deep in Francesca. Grunts and moans sound through the room, and Aston is pounding her like he hasn’t had sex in years. I quickly shut the door, leaning against it while I recover from what I just saw.
“Erm… I don’t think you want to go in there,” I tell Dshawn when he makes his way to me.
“Aston?” he asks with a grunt.
“And my friend Francesca, fucking like there’s no tomorrow.”
Dshawn turns around and throws himself onto the couch, too drunk to care where he ends up tonight. “I’d like to fuck you like that, but I need to sleep this off first,” he mumbles, making me laugh.
“Move over.” I crawl onto the couch as well, even though there isn’t enough space for both of us on there. I’m just so drunk and tired. The whole room is spinning.
We fall asleep on top of each other, fully dressed, reeking of booze and sweat. It’s the best start of the new year that I could have wished for, solely because I’m with Dshawn. And tomorrow, I get to wake up with him. It doesn’t get much better than this.
Author’s note: could you hit the little heart if you like the book? It keeps me motivated :)
And comments are always appreciated too. :)