Slutty Shaughna

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#43 Cougars, foreplay, and feelings

“She’s hot,” Aston says the moment I show him a picture of Annabel Wilkerson, Caroline’s bitchy neighbor. “Those boobs… and that mouth of hers… Yeah, I’d like those lips wrapped around my dick.”

“Don’t be gross,” I tell my friend, rolling my eyes at him. “So you’re in? You’re willing to be one of our eligible bachelors for the line-up?”

“Darling, I’m the main attraction,” he says with a smirk. “You may as well cancel those other boys, because that dirty little cougar is going to be all mine this Friday.”

I laugh and move to the kitchen to get him another beer. Dshawn is out of town for three days because he got chosen for a project at work, along with Mustafa and Danny. They have to woo a potential client that wants to meet the team that will be fulfilling all his IT dreams for the foreseeable future. It’s the first time that I’m staying in his apartment without him since we agreed to sort of move in together last week. Aston volunteered to keep me company tonight, and I’ve actually missed hanging out with just him, so we’re not even going out. We’re watching a cheerleader movie of course, but it’s not Bring it on this time. Aston brough But I’m a cheerleader. It’s his favorite movie since it’s got everything he likes: hot girls, cheerleaders, lesbians and comedy. And I have to admit that I’m laughing more than I expected.

“Thanks, babe.” Aston takes a swig of his beer and pauses the movie for a moment. “So… Dshawn told me that you’re hanging up your cape for real now?”

“What did he say?” I ask curiously, pulling my legs under me on the couch.

Aston wiggles his eyebrows at me. “Wouldn’t you like to know, little slut?”

I roll my eyes. “Fine, don’t tell me. And yeah, I’m done. The only person I’m a slut for these days is my boyfriend and I actually prefer it that way.”

“You can’t be a slut for one person.” Aston sighs. “You’re putting the league to shame, girl.”

“Maybe I am,” I agree, “but I guess I don’t need my cape anymore. Give it to someone else. It was fun while it lasted, but I’m in love with Dshawn now.”

“W-what did you just say?” Aston says, his eyes widening. “Did you just drop the L-bomb? Does Dshawn know?”

“Well, he was there when I told him, so I think he knows.” I frown. “What exactly did he say to you that made you think I’m not in the league anymore if he didn’t tell you that I love him?”

“He gave you his key,” Aston says, gesturing around us. “That’s a big deal as well, you know. I’ve only ever had my own keys on my chain, and my parents’ key, of course. And I’ve never given any girl my key, aside from you, but that’s just so I can call you when I lock myself out. But love… Girl, you’re never coming back to the league, are you?”

I laugh at how sad he looks. “Hopefully not, Aston, but you never know.”

“I’ll make sure to be slutty enough to make up for your loss,” he vows, putting the movie back on. His favorite scene is on and he talks along with the actress: “Foreplay is for sissies! Real men go in, unload and pull out!”

“I guess real men aren’t very good at sex then,” I mutter, shaking my head.

Aston grins. “The whole term foreplay is stupid, if you ask me.” He pauses the movie for the tenth time tonight and takes a sip of his beer. “Can we still talk about sex, even though you’re now in a committed relationship with my best friend?” he asks, frowning. “Or is that completely unacceptable? You’re my only female friend who I’ve never slept with and who keeps hanging out with me after getting herself a boyfriend, so I’m not sure what the protocol is.”

I think it’s sweet that he’s asking me about this, like there is a rulebook somewhere about this. “I don’t know if it’s normal to talk about sex as much as we do,” I confess with a smile. “We could dial down a bit. Although… I like talking about it, so I think we can keep it up. It’s up to me to decide how much I want to tell you about my sex life with Dshawn, right?” So far, I haven’t told Aston anything, aside from the fact that I don’t have any complaints.

“Okay, sweet.” Aston smiled widely. “Because I want to ask you something about foreplay, but I don’t want Dshawn to kick my ass when he gets back from his trip.”

“Spill it.” I’m curious. Aston’s ramblings about sex are usually very amusing.

“Well, I was with this girl a few months ago, and we had sex twice, but now she’s telling her friends that we never actually had sex.” He rolls his eyes. “I don’t know why anyone would ever want to deny having been with a sex god, but that’s her problem. She apparently thinks that what we did wasn’t sex, that we stuck to foreplay. So I was wondering… what do girls think foreplay is?”

I shrug. “I’m not sure if I can speak for all girls, but I’d say foreplay is stuff to get you in the mood for the main course. Everything leading up to actual sex.”

“And what is actual sex?” Aston asks intently.

“Penetration,” I reply. “Dick in vagina.”

“Hah! And that’s where you’re wrong!” he says triumphantly. “Because that means that lesbians can’t have sex. Gay men can penetrate each other’s assholes, but a lesbian doesn’t have a penis. Are you saying that they can’t have sex?”

“Good point,” I agree, laughing at how serious he is. “Then I guess that sex is… I don’t know… something you do that ends with an orgasm.”

“So if your bedpartner is awful, and you don’t orgasm, it doesn’t count as sex?” He laughs triumphantly at my expression. “And that means that if you come on the back of a motorcycle because of the vibrations, that counts as sex?”

“Stop throwing that in my face,” I mutter. “That was years ago and it was humiliating.” I still remember the look of surprise and superiority in Aston’s eyes when he realized that I reached my peak on the highway. To be fair, it was a very nice orgasm, but it was embarrassing. Very.

He grins. “Okay, okay, but my point is that sex is a very broad term. There’s oral sex, anal sex, vaginal sex, cyber sex, phone sex, sex with yourself which is called masturbation… hell, when you finger fuck a girl, that’s technically penetration, so may as well count that as sex. My point is… well, who the fuck cares. I just think it’s interesting that I call what I did with that girl sex, and that she thinks is was foreplay. Which is a stupid term to use when you don’t actually have penetrative sex, because foreplay was the word fore in it, as in before, as in… how can you have foreplay when there is nothing after it? No actual sex as you called it?”

“What did you do with that girl?” I ask, genuinely curious.

“She gave me a blowjob and I ate her out.”

“Yeah, okay, then I get why she’s saying that you guys didn’t have sex.” I laugh at how angry he looks. “I’m not saying that it matters or that your rant doesn’t make a lot of sense, but when girls say that they had sex with someone, they generally don’t mean oral sex.”

“But oral sex has the word sex in it!” he exclaims. “How is that not sex?”

I laugh again. “You don’t have to convince me, Aston. I get it. I’m just saying that I understand that girl too. Speaking about girls you’re sleeping with… How are things between you and Francesca?”

“Ugh, I don’t know.” He rolls his eyes. “That girl is all over the place. She is amazing, really, but she’s got these mood swings that I don’t know how to handle. One minute, she’s going down on me in a dressing room, the next she’s crying. What is up with that? My dick in her mouth is not a reason to cry! I don’t cry after eating her out!”

I feel so bad for Franny and I want to yell at Aston for making her feel this way, but he can’t really help it, and I promised her not to say anything to him. He made it clear to her that he’s just sleeping with her, no feelings involved, and if she doesn’t own up to her feelings for him… how is Aston supposed to know? “What did you do when she started crying?” I ask, praying that he was on his best behavior.

“I hugged her, of course,” Aston replies with a grunt. “Stroked her hair until she stopped bawling and bought her a new dress. We were in a store full of clothes, after all, so I figured that might make her feel better.”

“That’s actually pretty sweet,” I tell him. “Did she explain why she was upset?”

He shakes his head. “No, she said she was going through something. And a few days ago, we were about to fuck, and suddenly she starts saying that she wants to feel close to me and that we should take it nice and slow, without a condom! I mean…” He grunts. “I’m the president of the motherfucking slut league! If I forget about using a condom, I’m done. I’m not going to get a random girl pregnant, and I actually care about Fran, so I’m even more careful with her, because I don’t want to accidentally give her an STD. I got chlamydia a few years ago, and I had to get a 7-day treatment, so I had to be celibate for 7 fucking days. I’m not doing that again.”

I remember that, he was unbearable for the entire time he had to refrain from having sex. Aston has been getting tested regularly for STDs for years now, and when he got chlamydia he immediately called the girls he’d been with since the last time he got tested. They weren’t happy, although they were happy that he had the decency to let them know. In the end, it turned out only two other girls had it and they got treated right away. Aston may be a player, but he is very responsible. He even gets tested if he’s been good about using condoms, because he knows that you can get nasty shit from oral and even kissing.

“Did you just say that you care about Fran?” I realize, looking at him with narrowed eyes.

“Yeah, she’s my friend,” he says with a shrug. “We hang out, you know, we don’t just fuck all the time. She’s pretty cool. Did you know she’s a nurse? I figured she would be a waitress or a bartender like you with her slutty attitude and purple hair, but she’s actually a nurse! And she works with kids, mostly, kids with cancer and all that shit. The girl is smart and sweet. Of course I care about her.”

“Yeah, I know she’s a nurse.” I laugh at how surprised he seems that someone as fun as Franny can be a nurse. “Just because someone has a serious profession doesn’t mean they can’t still be fun and even a little kinky.”

“I guess,” Aston agrees with a frown. “I mean, yeah, I obviously know that. I slept with this really hot older woman once and she was a lawyer. Man, she was kinky as fuck. But still, nurse Franny… I even got her to put on her uniform for me, but it wasn’t as sexy as I hoped it would be.”

I laugh and smack his arm. “Just because nurses in porn movies wear white latex and have their boobs spilling out, doesn’t mean that nurses actually wear that! Caroline is a teacher, but she doesn’t sleep with her students or smack her boyfriend’s ass with a ruler.”

Aston grins. “Oh, from what Dshawn told me, Caroline is kinky as fuck. Her new boyfriend is a lucky bastard. I’d have loved to take her for a spin before he snatched her up.”

“If I tell you something, do you promise to never speak of it ever again?” I whisper, moving in closer. When he nods, I move in even more. “Caroline thinks you’re hot.”

“Fucking hell, what a waste that she’s with that old dude.” Aston shakes his head. “If she ever breaks up with him, tell her to call me for her rebound booty call instead of Dshawn, will you? I’m not missing out again.”

The idea of Caroline and Aston hooking up has me cracking up. When I’m finally done laughing, my face wet from the tears, Aston is shaking his head in annoyance.

“Hey, you don’t get to be angry at me,” I tease. “I’m still a little annoyed at you, to be honest, for telling Dshawn that I’m incapable of monogamy and for making him think that I can’t go a week without sex.”

“I already apologized for that,” he grunts. “Won’t keep doing it, woman.”

“Yeah, but you never explained why you said those things.” I was just making a joke, but now that the words are out, I realize that I’m actually curious. “So… why did you? Were you just trying to psych him out, or did you mean the things you said?”

Aston shrugs. “I know you don’t want to hear this, Shaughna, but I meant monogamy thing. I thought… I thought you were like me. You’ve always been like me. We’re always showing each other pictures of the people we’re sleeping with, sharing stories, listing all the places we’ve had sex… And I am not capable of monogamy, so I figured you weren’t either. I was wrong, obviously. And the thing about needing sex once a week was just a joke. I had no idea he took it so seriously.”

“And why did you tell him the monogamy thing?” I ask, frowning. “We weren’t serious then, barely even dating. Why did you warn him?”

“Girl, that boy was crazy about you from the start,” Aston says like it’s obvious. “When he slept with Caroline after your first date with him, he felt horrible. He was beating himself up about a goddamn booty call with an ex-girlfriend, so I figured that could only mean one thing… he liked you. And I didn’t think you could give him the serious relationship he craved, so I warned him that he shouldn’t give his heart to you.” His eyes meet mine and he smiles sadly. “I’m sorry, Shaughna. I regret it now. I just… He’s my best friend and I didn’t want him to get hurt. I’m glad that things worked out between the two of you. I’ve never seen either of you this happy. I just didn’t want Dshawn to end up in tears or something.”

“It’s okay.” I can’t help but be glad that Dshawn has someone like Aston in his corner. “I just-”

“Holy shit,” Aston interrupts me, his eyes wide. “Fuck. I just realized something. I didn’t want Dshawn to get hurt when he started sleeping with you, because I was scared that he would get deep feelings for you while you were just fucking him for fun. Oh my God. That’s why Franny is acting all weird, isn’t she? Is she… does she have…?” He curses when he sees my face. “Shit. Fuck. How did I not see this? How long has she… liked me?”

“Look, she’s my friend,” I say, looking away from him. Fuck. I never should have asked about their fling in the first place. It’s my fault he figured it out. “And I can’t discuss this with you.”

“Shaughna!” Aston exclaims, looking terrified. “Come on! You’re my friend too. Why didn’t you tell me? I never would have kept on screwing her if I’d known she’d get so messed up over it. Fucking hell, why does she even like me? That almost never happens! I’m a player, not a heartbreaker.”

“Look…” I take a deep breath. “I’m going to have to tell her that you know. I owe her that much.”

“No,” Aston says resolutely. “Don’t. I’m meeting up with her after work tomorrow, so I will talk to her then. I won’t mention anything about you accidentally spilling the beans. I did realize it on my own, after all, so it won’t be a lie. I don’t want her to feel even worse. Fuck. I’m really going to miss hanging out with her. And the sex… damn, I wish I’d known that last night was our last time. She’s amazing.”

“And you’re sure…” I hesitate, but decide that I need to ask this. “If she’s so amazing, then why not just give it a shot? Date her?”

“Please,” Aston scoffs. “Not everyone meets their Dshawn and falls in love, Shaughna. I’m not interested in a relationship, not even with Francesca.”

Well, it was worth a shot. I just hope that Franny will bounce back soon, because I hate to see that girl hurting. Stupid Aston. Why can’t he just fall in love like me? I never thought I’d say it, but love is so much better than seven years of hot sex combined.

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