Slutty Shaughna

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#80 Epilogue: It’s like pooping out a watermelon

Ten years after the not-a-proposal

My hands are trembling so much that I hardly manage to turn off the alarm on my phone. Three minutes have passed and it’s time to look at the damn stick. It’s the millionth time I’ve peed on a stick this past year. I’m at the point where I don’t even call Dshawn anymore when I tear another pregnancy test from its box. It’s probably negative. Again.

It’s been a year. A whole fucking year since we decided that we were ready for a kid. We are both halfway through our thirties and if we don’t do this now, we might never. Every single test this past year had been negative and this one was not going to be any different.

I’m just about to walk over to the counter of the bathroom when my phone rings. I frown. I thought I already turned my alarm off?

Oh. It’s Caroline.

“Shaughna!” she shrieks, her voice so high that I can barely understand her. “I’m growing another baby in my belly! Number four! Fucking hell!”

“You’re pregnant?” I ask, not surprised in the least. When she told me that Nathan didn’t want to get a vasectomy, I knew that it was only a matter of time.

“Total surprise,” she says, her voice turning back to its normal pitch and volume. “I have a doctor’s appointment a few days, but I do know that’s I’ve been pregnant for at least three weeks.”

“Ah,” I say with a smile. “You’re using the fancy tests as well? The ones that tell you how far along you are?”

Caroline sighs. “Oh, I’m sorry, Shaughna. I totally spaced. I am so inconsiderate.” She knows that Dshawn and I are trying without any luck. She’s known all along, just like she always knows about all important things in my life.

“Actually…” I take a deep breath. “I was just about to check yet another test that is surely going to tell me that I’m not fertile.”

“Oh wow, you just peed?” Leave it to Caroline to say it like that. Way to make this moment special, Car. “Do you want me to hang up?”

“No, just give me a sec.” I walk over to the counter and look down, the phone still against my ear. The test looks different than I’m used to. It doesn’t say “not pregnant”. Instead it says “three weeks or more”.

“Shaughna?” Caroline asks when I remain silent. “Are you okay?”

I take a deep breath, not sure what to say to her. This has to be a fluke. After trying for a full year I was pretty sure that I am not even fertile. And now… three weeks or more? I’m pregnant? Really?

“Car, I am…” I pause, still not sure that I can believe a stupid pee stick. “I think that we might be having babies at the same time.”

“What?!” she exclaims. “Really? Oh my God, congratulations!”

“You too,” I say quickly, realizing too late that I didn’t even get to that part with her. “Car, I’m… I’m pregnant!”

“Oh my God, we’re going to go through this whole thing together!” she squeals. “The sore breasts, the hormones, the inappropriate horniness, the leaking breast milk… Oh, I am going to guide you through it all, Shaughna, I’m a veteran, after all.”

“I’m pregnant,” I repeat, still not sure that I can believe the test. I had given up hope, to be honest. “There is going to be… oh my god, a baby is going to come out of me!”

“Yes,” Caroline laughs. “That’s what happens by the end of your pregnancy.”

“I’ve got to tell Dshawn,” I realize. “Oh my God, he’s going to flip!” He is having a harder time with this than I am, and I’ve been a wreck for months now. He is going to cry, I’m sure of it.


“Mr. Davis, your wife is here!” the girl we hired to help us organize the children’s bashes at The Party yells when she sees me enter the empty laser tag floor. We don’t open for another hour, but Dshawn had to fix some technical issues with the laser guns, so he’s sitting in the far corner, his tongue between his teeth while he concentrates, trying to reconnect two wires.

“Girlfriend,” I tell the girl, rolling my eyes. “Not his wife.”

It’s no use, of course, so I just make my way to my boyfriend, taking a seat next to him. He greets me softly, but doesn’t take his eyes off his little mechanical project. I wait for him to finish, impatient as fuck. Normally, I wouldn’t even bother sitting here, looking so pathetic. I would be running around fixing problems and yelling at the staff.

“Okay,” he breathes, pushing the last laser gun away from him. “Crisis averted. They should be good for the party today.” He looks up, his eyes going wide the moment he sees my face. “Oh God, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” I assure him. “Absolutely nothing. In face…” I take a deep breath. “I’ve got some good news.”

“Did Michel decide to stay after all?” he asks hopefully. Michel has been with us for ten years, but he got an offer to be head chef in a restaurant downtown that he just can’t pass up. We pay him well, but this job isn’t exciting enough for him. We serve drunk people who want to soak up the alcohol in their system, not a hip crowd wanting to taste creative pieces of art.

“No, he’s still quitting,” I reply with a sigh. “This news a better than that. Way better.” Slowly and deliberately, I put a hand over my stomach, waiting for him to put two and two together.

“No…” he breathes. “Really?”

“I peed on ten sticks before coming over here,” I assure him. “So I’m pretty sure. And I’ve already called the doctor to make an appointment to be absolutely certain, but… yeah, really.”

Just like I predicted, there are tears in his eyes. He gets off his chair and kneels down, his face on the same level as my belly. He presses a kiss to it and very carefully touches it with his hand.

“There’s nothing to feel yet,” I tell him with a little smile. “And I’m not suddenly made of glass. You can hug me.”

Immediately, his arms go around me, hugging my waist. I run my fingers through his wild set of curls, praying that our kid will look like him. That skin, those curls, the wicked grin… Yeah, there are worse things than looking like Dshawn Davis.


“Push,” the nurse says, annoying the living hell out of me. “Just one more. Push!”

The fucking bitch has been promising me that this would be my last push for fifteen minutes now. I wasn’t even supposed to feel like this, to experience all the pain. Caroline delivered all her babies naturally, but I wanted all the fucking painkillers in the world. I wanted to be numb when the first fucker made its way out of my poor, beaten vagina. It’s so unfair that I was already too far into labor to be blissfully sedated.

“You can do this, baby,” Dshawn says, wiping my forehead with a moist towel. “Just hold on.”

“You fucking did this to me!” I growl at him, breathing hard. I’m sure that I’m supposed to huff or puff or something, I took all the birthing classes, but all I want to do is cut off Dshawn’s dick. “I’ll never forgive you for this.”

He just smiles and winces a little when I squeeze his hand so hard that it must hurt. Good. I feel like I’m being split in half. The least I can do is give him a taste by bruising his hand. I fucking hate him right now. I hate everyone.

Finally, after a few more last pushes – I am going to kill that nurse – the sound of a baby crying fills the air. I’m pretty sure that I am dead. Or maybe not, because I still feel pain. Maybe this is hell. Anyone who told me that it was okay and that the joy of holding your child in your arms makes you forget all the pain is going to get their ass kicked. At least Caroline was honest. She said it was like eating a thousand hot peppers and then pooping out a watermelon, while someone tears your vagina apart with their nails, and that it feels like the whole world is ending in flames. Yeah, that was pretty accurate.

Our kid is being cleaned, so I look at Dshawn, whose eyes are wide with wonder. He can see the nurses working on our baby, and from the way he’s tearing up, our kid must be perfect.

“Okay, the next one will be along in just a moment,” the nurse says, still with her face between my legs. This would be embarrassing if I still cared about trivial things like that. Thank fuck I forbade Dshawn from looking down there. He can be here to hold my hand and to see his babies, but no way he is going to see my poor pussy all teared open and bloody. And don’t even get me started on the poop. Or the afterbirth. Let’s keep some mystery alive, huh?

“Fuck,” I curse when another contraction moves through me. “Push?” I ask, feeling the urge but not sure if I can just pop this one out already.

“Yes,” the nurse agrees. “Push.”

This time, it only takes a few minutes instead of more hours than there are in a day. My body is already so dead that it doesn’t even care about the pain or the tearing anymore. Just get the second baby out. Now. With one final push, I manage to do it. A little while later, the tiny thing starts crying, making me feel relieved. They’re both alive.

“Dshawn?” I croak.

I can’t find him anymore, and when I finally do, I gasp. He’s holding baby number one, cradling it to his chest with the softest, sweetest look on his handsome face. He moves over to be and shows me our baby boy: Luke. Dshawn wants to give him Skye and Walker as middle names – you know… Luke Skye Walker… hilarious – but I’m not going to stand for that. Little Luke is truly the cutest baby ever, though. Beautiful, with light brown skin and a few tiny curls on his head.

“Mommy, would you like to meet your daughter?” the nurse asks, putting a tiny bundle of cuteness on my chest. I cradle baby number two, amazed at how tiny those hands are, how cute those curls, how perfect she is.

“Hi Maisy,” I whisper to her, smiling at my daughter.

“Maisy and Luke,” the nurse comments with a warm smile. “Cute.”

I look up at the stupid bitch – or well, the trained health professional who is unlucky enough to be the one working tonight – and scowl. “Yeah, they are cute. Fuck me, I feel like a truck just ran me over a million times.”

“Hopefully you will be able to get an epidural next time,” the nurse says, nodding with a pitying look on her face. “I don’t often get to assist in a natural twin birth without an epidural. C-sections are pretty regular. And without epidural… tough.”

Yeah, that’s an understatement. I still hurt, although it’s not that bad anymore. Especially since I am now holding Maisy and Dshawn is murmuring sweet nothings to his baby boy.

“There will be no next time,” I tell the nurse, absolutely certain about this. “We’ve got two for the price of one. This is it. I’m never doing this shit again.”

She laughs. “You’d be surprised how many women say that. I think you’ll be back in a few years.”

“Maybe,” Dshawn agrees, earning an angry look from me. Asshat. We agreed that the twins would be it. No more babies. I would have settled for one, but we got two. Who needs three?


“Come on, Luke,” Dshawn says, pulling the tiny little baby from his car seat while I do the same with Maisy. “Time to meet your future wife.”

It’s the first time we’re this far from home. The kids are only three weeks old, and we’ve been holed up in our house these past weeks, but finally Dshawn is okay with letting them and me out into the world. Or well, into a car for three hours and then to knock on Nathan’s and Caroline’s door.

Before we can get to the knocking part, the door already swings open, revealing Nathan with 4-year-old Ivy wrapped around his leg, making it hard for him to walk. Ash appears behind him, looking up at us with those big blue eyes. The 7-year-old looks completely serious when he asks us if he can take our coats.

“Oh, give me that little cutie,” Nathan says, holding out his arms so he can take Maisy from me. “Hi cute little girl. Are your mommy and daddy treating you right? Or do you want to move in with your uncle Nate?”

“Please,” I scoff while I take off my coat and hand it to Ash, who is acting like he’s working here as a coat check boy. He even bows. That little guy is so cute. Although he’s not really little – he’s got Nathan’s height for sure, even though he looks like Caroline.

Dshawn gives me Luke so he can take off his jacket, but he takes him back immediately. I’m pretty sure that Dshawn hasn’t been without a baby in his arms since the twins were born. My body is still not recovered from the natural birth. Stupid twins coming way before my C-section was scheduled. They are tiny, way smaller than Car’s kids were when they were born, but the nurses assured us that’s normal. I still think that I should have been given an epidural, but apparently, I was already too far gone by the time Dshawn pulled up to the hospital with screeching tires.

“Are they here?” Caroline shouts from the living room.

Nathan moves to the door, slowly because of Ivy still wrapped around his left leg and Maisy in his arms. Ash rushes over to open the door for his father, and he waits until we’re all in the living room before closing the door behind us. That’s one well-mannered kid.

“Oh my God,” I breathe when I see the baby in Caroline’s arms. “She’s huge.”

Car laughs and motions me over to the couch where she’s half-sitting, half-lying down, slightly propped up by some pillows. The birth was two days ago, but I swear the baby looks like it’s three months old already. Way bigger than the twins.

“Will you finally tell me the name now?” I ask, annoyed that she wouldn’t let me know over the phone. She knew that Dshawn and I had picked out the names Maisy and Luke before the twins were even born. Not fair.

“This is Violet,” Caroline introduces us to the newest member of the Storm family. She holds her girl to me and I cradle her to my chest, amazed at how different all babies are. She looks nothing like my kids. She’s big and has a ton of baby fat. Her huge green eyes look up at me in wonder, like she’s looking right into my soul. Yeah, she’s got Nathan’s eyes, just like Rose, Daisy, and Ivy. Ash is the only boy in a household full of strong women, and the only one with his mother’s eyes.

“Fucking hell, there are too many babies in this room,” a warm voice says behind me.

I turn around with Violet in my arms and smile at Rose, who is home for the week, taking a little time off from college to meet her baby sister. She moves over to take Luke from Dshawn’s arms, touching his tiny curls with a sigh.

“Oh, to have hair like that,” she says wistfully. “Damn, you’ve got beautiful kids, aunt Shaughna.”

“Hey, the curls are all mine,” Dshawn says, rolling his eyes. He gives Violet a kiss, smiling down at the newest Storm baby with a smile on his face. “Hi there, little baby. Wanna meet your future husband?”

Rose steps in closer so Luke and Violet can officially meet, the babies both not even a little impressed with the other. We all laugh when Luke bumps his fist against her arm by accident, making Violet wail.

“Oh fuck, she’s got her mother’s lungs,” Rose grunts, scowling at Carline.

Car jus laughs and holds out her arms to take her crying kid back from me, shushing her with soft little noises. Violet shuts up, hiccupping a little before closing her eyes and drifting off to sleep. Luke is totally spooked by the wailing kid he just whacked, his lower lip trembling.

“Oh no,” Dshawn says, quickly taking our son from Rose. “Don’t cry. If you cry, Maisy cries. And if Maisy cries, the whole world is fucked.”

“Could you all stop cursing?” Caroline asks, giving Dshawn and Rose a pointed look. “Daisy is already picking up curse words and she’s only 9.”

“Please,” Rose scoffs, rolling her eyes. “When I was her age, I was already calling my classmates a bunch of dirty motherfuckers.”

“Language!” Caroline roars, almost waking up Violet.

Daisy appears in the living room, just in time to catch her older sister tell her mother that she’s an overbearing teacher who shouldn’t worry about her kids cursing when her own husband has the foulest mouth of all of them.

“I do not,” Nathan grunts, looking down at Ivy who is still clutching her dad’s leg, trying to get him to walk her around the room. “Do I, Ivy?”

“You’re a motherfucker,” his daughter says cheerfully.

We all laugh, except for Caroline, whose face is turning red. She glares at her husband and tells him that he should at least try to no mess up his youngest baby girl, since she might still have a fighting chance of becoming a well-mannered kid without curse words sprouting from her.

“Violet doesn’t stand a chance,” Rose says, rolling her eyes. “Trust me, I know. I’ve watched the two of you trying to be good parents to my three siblings for years now. You totally suck. Maybe you should have waited to have kids, like aunt Shaughna and uncle Dshawn did. Hopefully they are old and wise enough not to totally fuck up their babies.”

“Language!” Nathan and Caroline chastise her at the same time, making me and Dshawn share an amused look. The Storm family is always like this and we love it. Rose is just kidding – Nate and Car are amazing parents, and she knows it. She just like riling them up.

Dshawn and I join Caroline on the couch, putting the babies on our laps while we chat. Nathan pulls up some chairs for him and Rose, while the other kids run around playing tag. Caroline kicks them out and tells them to go be energetic in the backyard instead of around the sleeping babies. Nathan and Dshawn join them after an hour, playing soccer with the kids. I can’t imagine kicking anything around right now. Luke and Maisy really did a number on my body.

“So, tell me,” Caroline says, playing with Maisy’s hair. “How is motherhood treating you?”

“I love it,” I say honestly, my heart tightening at all the memories Dshawn me and the babies made already. And they’re only three weeks old… I can’t even fathom how much love I’ve got for these tiny little humans. I always thought that I couldn’t love another person more than I love Dshawn, but I was wrong. Luke and Maisy come first for both of us now, although we still love each other unconditionally, of course. It’s just different, the love for your kids. Totally different.

“Do you think we will manage?” Caroline asks, pointing at Luke and Violet. “Making these two fall in love, I mean? How cool would it be if we become in-laws to each other’s kids?”

I laugh. “Really cool. Keep an open mind, though. Maybe they’re gay and Violet will end up with Maisy. Or Maisy will decide she likes older men and try to get Ash to fall for her.”

Carolien laughs. “Nate said the exact same thing. Or well, he said that Ash might be like his dad and want a young hot woman.” She rolls her eyes. “It’s only seven years between Ash and Maisy, so who knows. Nate and I have proven that age is not an issue.”

“Maybe you should wait planning their weddings until they can actually walk,” Rose says, laughing at our musings. “Or maybe even longer, like… when they don’t crap their pants every few hours? It’s just a thought.”

“Yeah, you’ll be the first to get married anyway,” Caroline teases her. “When are we going to meet your new boyfriend?”

“Never,” Rose scoffs. “It’s still early days and I’m not going to give Daddy the opportunity to pull his usual overprotective crap on my poor unsuspecting guy. He’ll run for the hills.”

We spend a few more hours at Caroline’s and Nate’s, but after dinner we get back in our car for the long drive back. It’s exhausting being out for an entire day with so many kids around us. Dshawn drives us back and I drift off, my poor body on the edge of sleep every single minute of every day, or so it feels.

“Honey, we’re home,” my boyfriend whispers in my ear, waking me up from my slumber after three hours. His lips brush mine and we both sigh, deepening the kiss for a brief moment.

“I love you,” I say while I stretch out, yawning.

“Same here,” he replies with a smile as he helps me out of the car. “How about you go take a shower? I’ll take the kids inside and put them in their cribs. I’ll see you in the bedroom in a few.”

Oh no. I know that look in his eyes. What the fuck is he thinking? I love him, but there is no way I am having sex with him. Not a chance. I’ve been stitched back together and I have to wear a pad because I bleed sometimes. He’s not getting near there. Hell to the no.

An hour later, the bed dips when Dshawn joins me, smelling like oranges and shampoo. He pushed up against me from behind, his rock-hard dick pressing against my ass.

“No…” I breathe out, squeezing my eyes shut. “Sorry baby, but if you want me to stay alive, please don’t. I know you don’t like jacking off, but it’ll just have to do for now. Maybe we can have sex in… like… three years or so.”

He breaths a laugh, kissing my neck. “I know, honey. I know. I just can’t help it. I don’t expect you to do anything about it, but I do want you to know… to feel… that even though you may feel like crap, I still think you are the most beautiful and sexy woman ever.”

“Hmm,” I murmur, turning around so I can kiss him. “That’s nice.”

My hand finds the bulge in his boxer shorts and I have to admit that it’s nice to get back to this after not doing anything sexual for a while. Not a single part of my body wants him inside of me right now, or even his fingers or tongue anywhere near my pussy, but I do like touching him, making him grunt in arousal.

I slip my hand into his shorts and start jacking him off, taking him by surprise.

“Babe, you don’t have to-”

“I want to,” I insist. “In fact, I will happily blow you, but I am too exhausted to do anything but lie down right now. So if you want me to, you’ll have to all the work.”

He laughs, the sound turning to a groan when I start moving my hand faster. “Fuuuuuck,” he grunts. “Okay, yeah, I want that.”

He pulls off his underwear and gets on top of me, moving up so his dick is dangling in my face. I open my mouth and take him inside of me, making him moan loudly. My nipples turn hard, surprising me. Guess my body isn’t aware that there is no chance of getting lucky tonight. Good to know that the old hormones are still working, though.

“Fuck fuck fuck,” Dhawn says, fucking my mouth relentlessly. “I won’t last long. Fuck, I missed you.”

A few seconds later, my mouth fills up with cum and I swallow, licking him clean before he gets off of me and snuggles against me, still naked.

“Hmm,” he murmurs against my neck. “You smell nice.”
“It’s shampoo,” I say with a smile.

“And conditioner,” he adds, yawing. “I know, baby.”

“Sweet dreams,” I whisper to him, rubbing his back. “I love you.”

The end!

This is the last epilogue, so... the story is truly over now. But... I just posted "Eager Annabel" on my profile. It's all about Annabel, and of course we will see plenty of Aston and the others in that book. Add it to your library, the first chapter will be up soon enough! :)

And... if you liked this story, please comment, hit the little heart, and leave a review. It keeps me motivated! :)

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