shouting in silence

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day 105

It was weeks since they were together but something happened, when Liam’s mother had visited their school, the news that Liam was adopted had leaked out. It wasn’t a problem at all, one of Liam’s friends had asked him and at that moment everything came back to him and he realized he couldn’t trust anyone, he regretted telling Freya anything. He felt the walls closing in and his breath getting heavier, he ran to Freya’s house and dragged her out. At that time nothing went into his head, he was just angry and upset and scared, who could blame him? Tears were running down his face as he ran somewhere far, pulling Freya with him.

She looked at him with a frazzled smile and just stared and then the storm began, “FREYA! I SHOULD HAVE NEVER TRUSTED YOU... I HATE YOU AND I DON’T WANT YOU EVER IN MY LIFE, I DON’T LOVE YOU... YOU RUINED MY LIFE” he screamed forgetting all about her phobia, the girl ran home crying.

All the things she once saw haunted her again. She felt lonely and scared and wanted to die, her ears were ringing and she felt as though she was deaf, the darkness engulfed her. She tried to sleep only to be awoken by the scary memories. She couldn’t keep her breath still and knew that love was dangerous and she absolutely hated that feeling.

Liam was shattered, he knew that he could not trust anyone, not even himself. He didn’t like the silence he was sitting in and screamed. His mother ran up and saw her son crying, she worried. He felt as if something was piercing through his heart and it wasn’t the guilt but it was his fear. He felt buried and dirty.

Freya stepped into the shower, the water was freezing and it was raining outside, she cried but her tears were washed away by the water, she let the water hurt her and she sat there scared and alone. Her mother was knocking and banging the door, she was worried. But Freya didn’t reply, she sat in the cold water, still wearing her clothes and let the water drown her fears.

Liam was calm after a while, he was still fidgeting, but he realized his mistake and it wasn’t his fault. He was still traumatized, he just wanted to be alone. He took off to the streets, in the midst of the night. He was confused and blamed himself for all of this. So, he decided to go to Freya’s home and apologize but he couldn’t focus and before he knew it he saw a white light appear before him. Within seconds, there was an accident and Liam was in the hospital. His parents rushing by his side as soon as they got a call. In some time, the doctors announced it was memory loss and that he had fractured his arm but no serious damage was done.

Meanwhile, the girl had engulfed not only her fears but also herself, his hair was still glowing and her face was rested in a bittersweet smile. But when the door had been opened by force it was too late. Her mother saw the note lying on the table, it was a shade of lilac and had cute little hears drawn it.

Dear mom,

Hi... so I thought long and hard and I came to the conclusion that I was in love, in love with Liam. I know his phobia and he trusted me and although it wasn’t my fault I still take the blame because I fell in love. His real name is Lief and he likes the color lilac just like me. He is a really sweet boy, mom! But I also love someone else and that is you! But the thought of that terrifies me. So, I’m going to a place where I will no longer be afraid. I’m going to meet angels and we will sing and play the piano. Give this ring to him please and the other one on the necklace is for you... I made it for you so we could be matching... I was going to give it to you, next week but it’s okay. Mom, please tell Lief that I love him and also,


Bye, mom, I will always love you!

Love, Freya

A girl who hated using the word love had used it so much in her letter. Her mother dryly laughed while sobbing, knowing that she was actually gone and that this wasn’t a sick dream. She imagined Freya being free and happy and not bound to her phobia.

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