Pain's Grey

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Chapter 1


Two Years Ago

“Have you picked out your dress for the class party?“, Tamara asks me while we are pushing through the cafeteria doors.

I had completely forgotten about that.

“Umm..I will find something. What about you?“, I ask absent-mindedly.

Just as she is about to answer, Ian catches my eye and comes running towards me.

“Hey baby!“, he says while trying to kiss me on my lips. I gently push him away, I am not a big fan of his forceful adoration. He falters just a little. ” I will let you two love birds go then!“, Tamara waves me goodbye and makes her way towards Nicole and Riley’s table.

“Why do you keep pushing me off nowadays?“, Ian complains. Ah, I didn’t think his thick skull would get the message.

We just celebrated our one year anniversary a few weeks ago. A year full of wonderful memories. As disconnected I feel with our relationship nowadays, I have to admit it didn’t always feel like this. This suffocating, and he wasn’t always this controlling. In the beginning he wanted more than just my body. Now it feels like I’m only physically present in the relationship.

We are each other’s firsts, and he’s hell-bent on making us each other’s lasts. I, on the other hand, I’m not so sure.

“No I don’t. I’m just not feeling well today. You mind getting me something to eat?” I reply.

“Yeah, okay.” , he wanders off completely oblivous to the remarkably visible frown on my face that has been there for weeks.

One thing I’ve always liked about him is that he always takes care of me. Physically at least. I roll my eyes at that ridiculous thought. That’s so not what I need him for though.

Honestly, I can’t really blame him for the upsetting change in our relationship. Yes, his constant need for snogging and feeling me up is what’s been driving me away. And I know if I talk to him about it, he will undoubtedly try to change his habits. I mean, they shouldn’t even be there in the first place. If I really think about it, maybe, I just don’t want to fight for us anymore.

I am pulled away from my thoughts when Ian brings me a pop tart. “They ran out of calzones.” he says, meekly. As if I’d lash out on this. He’s walking on egg-shells, I get it.

I offer him a small smile as I take it, making my way down the stairs as the bell rings wonderfully loud in Hampton High.

After school

I meet my brother as he’s waiting for me outside. That incessant asshole. He is two grades ahead of me which means he will be graduating soon. And despite our very short age gap, he acts like he is so fucking superior. He has a school trip to Germany coming up so I’m counting down the days until I get to rid the house of his annoying presence.

As soon as we arrive home, I sprint to the shower to get today off of me. Ah! The cold water surely helps. It’s early summer and I’m already sick of this hot hot weather. The hair growing back on my legs demands my attention and I roll my eyes in exhaustion. Not in the mood for this today.

I am pulling my pajamas up my legs when I notice I didn’t bring a bra with my clothes. I frown just for a second then smile, realising that my boobs are long due for a free day.

“You’re not wearing a bra, are you?” A familiar, goofy voice startles me.


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