Chapter 1: New Beginnings (Part 1)
One day. One day you'll find it. One day you'll find, and you'll be happy; you'll be complete. This is my motto. This is what I live by. Or, now live by at least. When I was 2 years my parents died and I was put up for adoption, and when I was six a kind lesbian couple adopted me. So I grew up around plenty of love and kindness (unlike some of the homes I went through when I went up for foster care).
When the phrase was first mentioned to me, I was 7 years old and I asked what it meant. Mama smiled at me and sighed.
"It means one day, either today, someday, or never, you're going to find something-"
"Or someone!" Mom called from the living room. This made Mama laugh, and her wind chime chuckle fill the small kitchen.
"Or someone," Mama continued, "that will make you so happy and contented, that you will need nothing else in life," she smiled down at me, her rain-water eyes rippled with nostalgia.
"But what is 'it'?" I ask, extremely curious now. Mama paused at that, her rosebud lips puckered out, thinking.
"No one...." she trailed off as if she were trying to find the right words to describe what 'it' was. "Well, it's different for everyone, hun," she smiled wistfully. I asked what that meant. Mama just shrugged. "Everyone is different, you should know that by now, and so is their 'something'. Mine was different from my mother's, and yours probably be different as well!" she grinned at me and made a funny face. I giggle. Her perfect white teeth shone like pearls in the cold light of the kitchen.
"What's yours?" I ask eagerly. This topic had lasted for days now, but always ending the same. Mama turned around, her back to me now, her long, ink-black hair danced at her waist, shrugged, and continued to prepare dinner.
"If only I could tell you, hun. But a person's happiness is as mysterious as the oven's floor. We will only know when we are at our end," she said, smiling, mischief edging at her voice and at the corners of her mouth. Then Mom struts in, beaming. Mama noticed this and laughed. Mama twirled into her wife's embrace and asked why she was in such a good mood between giggles. Mom, with her crimson hair chopped so short it made her look like a pixie of the forest or something, just spin around, with Mama in her arms, and plopped down in a chair at the dining table. Mom let out a sigh. Her facade suddenly melted away like butter on a hot pan. Her sun-shiney smile slipped into a tired frown. Her mud puddle eyes flooding with sorrow. Mama must have noticed this.
"What's wrong, baby?" she asked, her voice softer than a fallen leaf dancing in the wind, falling to the earth. She crouched down at Mom's legs, looking up at her face. Her own face was etched with worry.
Mom muttered something I couldn't make out. But Mama heard her, and simply nodded. She turned to me, still on her knees. Now eye-to-eye with me, she flashed me a bright, excited smile. She told me to go to bed. "You have a big day tomorrow; first day of a real school!"
Her voice was filled to the brim with excitement for me. In fact, we were all excited for the next day, because it was my first time going to a real-life, actual school. You see, all of my life I had been home-schooled, so my access to knowledge was both infinite and limited at the same time. I smiled at this fact, remembering the importance of the next day, and skipped off to my room, ready for bed; blissfully unaware of the worry that now flooded Mama's perfect rain-water eyes, which were now locked on Mom.