I walked home from the pub happy. It was always relaxing spending time with Keria, I could tell her anything and get it all out. She might take the piss out of me, but there was no real judgement. It was nice to have someone like that.
I had a drunk confidence now. I pulled out my phone and called Matt.
“Hi, you okay? You sound happy.”
“And pissed, don’t forget happy and pissed.”
“I wish I was there with you.” He said.
I had a sudden worry that he was with someone else. I had a strong gut instinct that he was genuine, but my drunken mind told me there was no harm in checking.
“Facetime me then!” I was impressed with my own genius. I braced myself for excuses as to why he couldn’t, and the paranoia that I would have after.
My phone lit up with his face and hotel artwork in the background. I had another idea.
“Show me the whole of your hotel room, all of it every last bit!”
God I felt smart for thinking of this.
“I know what you’re doing but okay!” Oops. He was onto me. I giggled.
The camera spun around a very boring beige hotel room, into the en suite and back out again.
“I’m sorry, I just like you!” I admitted.
“I went to a charity shop, because I have no clothes, because your batshit wife destroyed mine.” I joked, I started laughing, to my relief so did he.
“God, you’re amazing, taking all this in good humour.” He smiled, the camera back on him.
“And you are handsome and sexy. And I want you to be with me all the time, because it makes me feel nice. You make me feel nice.”
“You make me feel nice too.”
“Hard, nice, happy, all the nice.”
“Nice!” I was hysterically laughing down the street now. I made it to the flat, which now had the cameras installed and a better lock on the front and back door.
“Come back to me.” I asked.
“As soon as I can, we can go away this weekend if you want.”
Go away this weekend. I held the phone out at arms length and let out a little yelp of excitement.
“Oh my God it is like you read my mind! I was saying how I want to run away with you, forever though. Like move with you somewhere. But weekend running away *hiccup* is good thank you. Oh shit, I told Keria, about us, do you hate me.”
“You can tell whoever you want, it is what it is.”
“That’s what I said! It is what it is! We are, what we are, we are good? Right? You do like me don’t you? All this is nice right?” I was pissed and making no sense now. I was assuming we are something, but none of it had been said out loud.
“We are what we are, and we are nice. Get yourself a water and get to bed you.”
“I love..” no no no stop do not say this! Say something else! “Your, er, penis.”
“I love your spirit, night you.”
Oops that was a close one, no more wine now. I went to bed smiling to myself.
I woke up with the world’s worst hangover. I forced myself into the shower and got into my pyjamas. I was so hungry, dinner last night was just a few bags of crisps in the pub. I was frying bacon and eggs with a pint of water and paracetamol down my neck. My head was killing me. I felt awful. I opened all the windows to let air in and drank as much water as my body would let me. I ate a huge bacon and egg sandwich in the kitchen with the tv blurting in the background.
I suddenly remembered what I was saying to Matt last night. Oh shit!
I picked up my phone and dialed his number, then instantly regretting it I realised it would make me seem more needy constantly calling. I ended the call before he could answer, fuck!
My phone then started ringing, he was calling me back, I should have ignored it. But I couldn’t. I needed to fill in the blanks of what I said.
“Er, Hi.” I answered nervously.
“You sound a lot more sheepish than you did last night.”
“Don’t worry, you didn’t say anything that bad.”
“I remember some but not all.”
“Want me to tell you.”
“Yes, was it bad?”
“No it was nice, very nice.”
“It was nothing bad, all good. You said you loved my penis.”
“Did I? Oh no.”
“Well was it a lie?”
“No, your right, I do love it.”
“And you said you wanted to run away with me.”
“Please don’t have me committed.”
“You did say it after I asked you to run away with me this weekend, just for the weekend though.”
“Please don’t think I’m crazy.”
“Trust me, after what I’m used to I don’t at all. It would be nice to run away with you by the way.”
“Where are we going then?”
“The coast. Sea and a spa is what you need after what you’ve gone through.”
“That sounds amazing.”
“I’m driving back from London now, I’ll be another three hours I think.”
“I’ll be waiting. I might not be alive when you come back though, this hangover may kill me.”
“Please try to stay alive, I already booked it for friday.”
I looked around at my surroundings as I got off the phone, hmm not great.
We managed to find a sofa that didn’t have to be specially made and could just be delivered quickly, that was arriving today along with the chair, my kitchen chairs had arrived and mirrors, mattress and headboard due today.
The flat was looking a lot better, I had got some new fluffy rugs, but right now the floor was covered in clothes from last night were on the living room floor where I had stripped before bed. Did I strip while still on facetime? Who knows.
It smelled of bacon fat now, and I felt bloated. What would Matt think of me sitting in my pyjamas in the day with last night’s clothes on the floor?
I got changed into my supermarket jeans and t shirt, applied some natural looking makeup, dry shampooed and brushed my hair.
I dusted and hoovered the living kitchen area, wiping down the kitchen and mopping the floors. Matt had helped me move out the old sofa before he left, my living room just had my shiny new tv, the drawers it stood on and the coffee table.
I looked at myself in the big antique mirror with the crack in it. It was always reminding me Nina was here, invading my privacy.
I hauled it downstairs, shoving it by the bins outside.
My L shaped sofa arrived half an hour later. It was deep but firm and supportive and the black velvet was stunning.
The mattress arrived and felt amazing, especially with the hangover. It was tempting to lay on it all day. It came with free removal of the old one thank god, the one with the wine emptied onto it and the slash. It looked as if someone had been murdered on it so I covered it with a sheet so that I didn’t have to explain myself to the delivery men.
I needed to get everything nice for him coming back, I put some clean sheets onto the new mattress, dusted and hoovered the bedroom.
I didn’t want to go through the bag Matt brought with him. But I wasn’t short of empty drawers, I wondered if he would mind me putting his stuff away without asking, I didn’t think he would.
I put all of his stuff neatly into a drawer, and the expensive leather bag into the drawer below. I tidied round the room, straightening the new gold lamps, putting my new mirror and bottle of perfume on the dresser and plugging in a floral scented air freshener. Hmm. It looked like a grown up sex bedroom now. I would have soft lighting and candles later. Maybe even get myself some underwear, the sexiest stuff I could find in the supermarket was a black t shirt bra and itchy lace knickers
I arranged and plumped my new fluffy cushions on the bed and on the sofa with pride, once the delivery men were gone, everything was starting to get back on track, finally.
I cleaned the inside of all the windows and kept them open with all curtains pulled back, letting all the sunshine flood in. I just needed some life inside now, all my houseplants were destroyed.
I shouldn’t be thinking of house plants, I should be thinking of work.
I hadn’t touched my office room since the house was destroyed, I just scooped glass and paper off the floor and into a bin bag and closed the door. I hadn’t even used my balcony, even with the nice weather, because it would mean walking through the office room.
If I could make it nice and a nice place to work, I could set to work with my plan for the future.
With my living area looking nice and livable, I opened the door to the office room to set to work.
I wiped down the desk which had thankfully been spared, I swept, hoovered and mopped.
I opened the door out to my little balcony, Nina forgot to destroy my plants out there, I still had my outdoor rug, table and seating. It was lovely, I can have the door open to it while I work.
Work on what yet I’m not sure, I had the podcast recording tomorrow at least. I had a local comedian I had asked to come on weeks ago, unaware all this was going to happen. I didn’t know if I should explain everything to my listeners on my own, I had never done a recording on my own.
No I needed support, I knew this comedian well but she would have an objective opinion as I’m not close to her. This would be fine, everything is going to be okay.
I looked around the bare office room sadly, my head killing from the hangover.
The chair had a slash in the bottom, but was a bit low for my height anyway, I put a pillow on top. I put my laptop onto the desk and found a notebook and pot of pens.
It still all looked very bare.
I walked out and down into town. I bought a wall mirror, a few small plants for the desk, a nice bound notebook and some nicer pens than the plastic ones I had. I got a chalkboard for the wall and some chalk pens. I got a small rug, a diffuser and some fairy lights, I picked out a glass water bottle and a nice mug. I lugged the bags back to the flat and arranged everything in my office, it looked lovely. I was ready.
Matt came back, he let himself in with the key I gave him. My heart thudded with excitement. This was nice.
“How are you?” he shouted up the stairs, I could hear a thud thud thud. A bag? I quickly sprayed on some chanel.
“Nearly dead, got my arse into gear though and sorted my office room. And guess what came? Bed and sofa!”
He looked into the living room as he came up the stairs. With a bag.
“Wow, looks really good in here.” He had a big smile on his face, he looked tall, I still hadn’t gotten used to his commanding handsome presence in my house. His blue eyes stayed steady on me. I loved him.
“What’s with the bag, you think you can help me out with fancy furniture and you own the place?” I joked, smiling the whole time I was teasing.
“If it’s okay?” He shrugged his shoulders eyeing me up and down.
“I’m not exactly strapped for drawer and wardrobe space.”
“Well, that’s going to change.”
“Don’t even tease me, I have very strong feelings towards nice clothes. They could break my heart you know?”
You could break my heart, is what I meant.
“You break my heart the way you make anything bad into something good.” He dropped his bag to the floor.
“There’s nothing at all that’s bad about you, or any of this. It’s just a little messy. But you know what?” I asked, looking up at him pusing his floppy dark blond hair off of his forehead and looking into his bright blue eyes.
“What?” he asked, cocking his head.
“I like cleaning up a mess, because sometimes when you make a mess and clean it up, it’s so much better than before the mess. Like this room.”
“Am I a mess?” he asked.
“No, you’re..” I looked down his torso. “Nice, very nice.”
He had his hand placed on the small of my back, he ran it up slowly up my back, over my t-shirt. Until his strong hand was cupping the back of my neck.
I moved forward, pressing into him. I could feel his hardness. He kissed my slowly, angonsingsly.
We stood there kissing in the middle of the flat for a long time, just holding each other as close as we could. After a while, while we were still slowly and deeply kissing, I undid the buttons to his shirt.
Opening up his expensive shirt, his chest felt firm and warm, I rubbed my hands on it. Strong, he felt so strong. I ran my hands up and over his muscular shoulders, pulling his shirt off.
I pulled at his belt, while he held my face and kissed me deeply. I got his belt undone and fly down, I pulled down his jeans and boxers. His length sprung out in front of me, I held onto it, gripping and massaging it up and down.
He stopped kissing me and stepped back. He picked me up and placed me on the new sofa. He kicked off his jeans while he left me waiting expectantly.
I sat up pulling off my t-shirt, I laid back down and pulled off my jeans. He stood over me watching me. I lay in my underwear for a moment, admiring how he looked standing tall over me, him hard and ready.
We stayed like this for a moment, looking at each other.
“Can I take a picture of you?”
“If you want.” I breathed.
“You look so beautiful.”
He pulled his phone from his jeans and took a photo. I felt beautiful.
He then dropped his phone to the floor and knelt down beside me, I turned onto my side to face him. He gave me a gentle kiss before pushing my shoulder softly down so I was laid back down on my back.
A gentle touch felt so powerful. He leaned over me and kissed my neck. I arched my back so he could get his hand underneath to undo my bra. He unclasped it and I lifted my arms so he could pull it off. Put my arms above my head and he massaged my boobs. He sucked my nipples while he put a hand down in between my legs, he rubbed in soft gentle circles while he sucked. I moaned and lowered a hand down to his length, I massaged him up and down while he licked and rubbed.
He pulled his hand from underneath my knickers and got up and onto the sofa with me. He was on his knees beneath me, pulling my knickers off. He parted my legs, one by one and looked up at me, a smiling crease around his blue eyes.
Any self consciousness I had was gone, I just had a wanting. Every time I looked at him I wanted him, at the works do, at the dinner party, in the streetlights, when he was sweeping my floor and now. I wanted him so badly.
He put his head down onto me, I was nearly ready. He licked and sucked, one hand running down my thigh, one hand running up my stomach. it didn’t take long for me to come after the suspense and rubbing. He looked at me the whole time I came.
He moved up towards me, keeping his eyes on me.
He moved into his elbows so that he was hovering just above me. He kissed me.
He was so close to me, with his eyes locked on mine he pushed himself into me and groaned. I gasped locking my legs around him. My back arched and I felt my nipples rub up against his chest. He tilted his head and started moving, gently but quickly, keeping his eyes on me while he watched me moan and gasp.
He pulled my legs up and leaned back, pushing deep and hard into me. He slammed into me while I gasped and clung onto the sofa, over and over. I loved watching his strong body move when he leaned back and thrust hard. He groaned and furrowed his brow while he thrust. He came. His face relaxed and he looked down to my clammy, naked body and my chest moving up and down with breaths.
He put a leg down on the floor, still inside me, he put his arms under my back. He picked me up as I wrapped my arms around his neck, he lifted me off of him and I had my legs wrapped around him and my hot face against his.
“I didn’t want to get anything on the sofa,” he breathed as he gently put me to my feet. I expected him to walk away, and go jump in the shower or something. He kept his arms around me and held me into his chest, he kissed the top of my head and I looked up at him.
“Jesus christ.” he said.
“Incredible.” I said into his chest.