I dressed and Matt did, he unpacked his travel case into the washing machine.
It felt strangely coupley to do washing together.
“Look at us,” I said, sipping water, leaning against the kitchen counter. “This is all very fast.”
“I know,” he said. “I can move back in with Nina if you want.”
I grabbed the tea towel at the side of me and threw it at him.
“I like having you here.”
“I like being here.”
“What if we fuck it up?”
He sighed and pushed his hair back.
“I don’t think we will, but if we do I’ll be gone as soon as you need space. I haven’t really thought of getting my own place yet, I don’t really want to confront it.”
I looked at him with my eyebrows raised.
“I’m happy, I’m enjoying this buffer.” He said, as if he was trying to explain himself, he wasn’t doing a great job. “I told Nina I wasn’t happy and left, we didn’t really have it out properly you know? We haven’t had that screaming row yet. She’s been calling me non stop. I don’t want to confront it yet. I want to be happy.”
“You kind of have to, you can’t have the best of both worlds. Have you told her properly that you want to divorce her?”
“Cowardly, I told her on the phone while I was in the hotel. She thought when I left I was leaving for a few days, she thought I just needed a bit of space not all of this. After cheating on her, what a dick move. But I was so angry with her for what she did to you.”
“Does she know you’re staying here with me.”
“No, I didn’t want her to fucking break in again. I told her I was staying with a mate.”
“She’s going to be even more pissed off when she finds out you’ve been staying here, and lying to her.”
“I think she knows, really. It’s just unsaid.”
“What are you going to do?”
“Enjoy being with you, go away with you on friday. Confront her Monday. I’ll go home after work and have it out.”
“Are you happy with that?” His tone was now a little mean.
“Not thrilled you have a wife, but I knew that going in and couldn’t stop myself, so, I’m not really in any position to comment.” I wrapped my arms around him, a flood of warmth flowing through me. I looked up at him. “I just want to enjoy you for the rest of this week, before the drama begins.”
Matt had nipped out in the car and returned with ingredients for burgers and a pack of beer.
I cooked them off in a pan, while he sat at the kitchen table watching me.
He had handed me a bottle of beer which I had only had one sip of.
“You feeling delicate?” he asked, noticing.
“Yeah, I’m feeling a little rough. I’d say it’s all kerias fault, but we encourage each other.”
“What were you drinking.”
“Prosecco with shots of gin in it.”
“Jesus Christ, you women are hardcore. I’d like to see the state of the lads from work if they tried to drink that, they struggle with a few pints.”
“I am hardcore.” I said, I took a sip of beer to prove this point.
“Didn’t you do a no drinking detox?”
“Three days. I like drinking, only a few though, I just don’t like getting hammered and having a horrible hangover. Like this. It makes me paranoid.”
“Paranoid about what?”
“I don’t know, just gives me a general feeling of worry.”
“You’re worried a lot.” He came up behind me while I was stirring and wrapped his arms around me. “I don’t want you to worry about anything.”
I turned around.
“I lost my job.”
“It doesn’t matter, I will look after you.”
“I don’t want to rely on anyone.”
“Okay, I will look after you while you find something new. Seeing as I’m the one who got you sacked.”
“I could always go back to the pub, or find a reception job.”
“Nothing wrong with that, but why don’t you carry on writing seeing as you’ve been doing that for years.”
“No one would hire me.”
“Do you have to be hired? Couldn’t you do it on your own?”
“The world is scary, I’ll help you. But I have a feeling it will be all you.”
“I still have my advertising from the podcast.”
We sat on the balcony with the twinkle lights on, soft music playing. We ate the burgers, chatting and laughing.
“So,” I started, he looked so handsome in the warm glow of the lights. “I have to talk about you on the radio podcast, all of my listeners know what happened on the dinner party night, someone sent a link to the article on the facebook group. I have to say something if one of the guests asks, but only if they ask. What do I say?”
“I don’t care, say what you want.”
“Really, I’ll tell Nina I’m staying here on monday.”
“So this is a real thing?”
“This is a real thing. Don’t worry about me, or her, I’ll keep her crazy away from you.”
We sat for a few moments while he told me about his work. I hung onto his every word, he was so eloquent and well spoken. His world of journalism sounded so glamorous. I felt uneducated when he spoke of politicians that I knew either not much about or nothing. He didn’t seem to mind. I was worried when I came out with questions that were stupid, but he explained things patiently without being patronising or judgemental.
“You must think I’m so uneducated, I know nothing about politics. I mean I look at the headlines every morning, but I don’t really go much deeper than that.”
“Not many do, you know more than a lot of people I know. And actually I love that you want to know and stay open minded. The worst kinds of people are the people that don’t know that much about it, but think they do, that get their opinions from other people instead of forming their own.”
I smiled and kissed him.
I was feeling horny from my hangover, we moved into the bedroom. I stripped down and climbed into bed with him, it felt amazing to cuddle up to his warm strong body.
We held each other and kissed. I climbed on top of him, I pushed him inside, taking how big he was slowly. I kissed him while I rocked my hips slowly back and forth until he came inside of me.
I slept deeply and soundly cuddled up next to him.
I felt so much better the next morning, I got up early and showered with Matt. We giggled lathering each other up, I loved seeing the softer side to the serious classy, smart, posh, gentleman. It was nice to see him silly and smiling. I stood back a little admiring his naked body. I squirted shampoo into my hand and dumped it onto his head, I teased his hair into a lathery mohawk and stood back again.
He put his head around the shower curtain to admire his mohawk in the steamed up mirror.
“You’re so immature,” he smiled, grabbing onto my boobs.
“That’s what you get for going for a younger woman, soap mohawks.”
He dressed in his suit, and me in my new uniform of jeans and t-shirts on rotation.
I made us coffee and handed him a mug while he was cleaning his shoe.
“You look sexy in a suit.”
I disappeared with my coffee to put some curls in my hair and some eyeliner on. I tidied round while Matt went through his emails on his phone.
A morning routine, I never thought that this could happen with Matt.
I tried to remember getting up in the morning with other men, nothing significant popped to mind.
I never got up and felt the happiness of watching someone going through the motions before work, I was admiring everything he did.
I went into the bedroom to tidy up and make the bed, the bed was already perfectly made, he did that, even when he’s used to having cleaners in his house. I picked up Matts boxers off the floor, I suppose he couldn’t be perfect. I threw them into the hamper and he came in and put his hand around the back of my head. I expected a little kiss on the head and a bye. He gave me a strong depp kiss pulling me into him, he cupped my arse and gave it a spank.
“I’ll see you later.”
I got everything set up for recording, the comedian, Laura, that came on was brilliant. Everything flowed and there were natural jokes.
“So, I saw the link on the facebook page. What’s going on there?”
“Oh, yeah. I met someone, someone who’s still married.”
We went on to talk about crazy exes, I told a story that was diluted down about what had happened with Nina breaking in. Laura was horrified, I didn’t want to tell the whole story and put it in the present day because I didn’t want to drag Ninas name. I was vague about the timing, just mentioning that it happened in the past.
I didn’t mention Matt’s name even though everyone knew who he was, I just coined him as the sexy older man I’m seeing.
After the recording, I walked to the coffee shop and treated myself to an iced latte and a cake, bringing my laptop with me for a change of scenery, so I could do the editing ready for tomorrow.
I was nibilling on red velvet and trying to shorten everything down to fit into one episode, it was way too long.
I looked up. Nina was standing above the table. I almost choked. She doesn’t come here, this is the shop near my flat, not the one near the office.
“Nice outfit.” She said looking down. I looked down at my cheap, stretchy navy t-shirt and my too-big supermarket jeans and plimsolls. I didn’t know what to say.
“Erm, yeah, didn’t have much in my wardrobe left after the break in.” I wasn’t meaning to sound accusatory, because I didn’t want to wind her up. I was just fumbling for something to say.
“What are you talking about?” She asked with a huge smile, her eyebrows raised, she was mocking me.
She looked stunning, had navy silk palazzo pants on and a crisp shite shirt tied high to show her flat stomach. She had her hair in a sleek ponytail and red lipstick on.
“Yes, you look better than me, well done.” I was making the conscious decision not to be picked on.
“I know you’re living with my husband,” she said in a quiet, neutral voice. “I told you not to carry on, and you did.” The message on the mirror.
“I don’t know what to say Nina, it is what is.”
“It is what it is?”
“Yeah, I mean. I made a mistake. And you destroyed my flat, took away my job and took away any future job prospects. I thought we were done here. It was shit and horrible, but you said it yourself, we were never really friends. I was just used as something for entertainment. I’m sad about our friendship, but I have decided to be selfish and take what I want.”
“You could never take him from me. He’s just upset with me because I’ve been partying a bit more and messing around a little. I gave you everything and you did this to me. You’ve betrayed me a lot more than what he has.”
“I’m sorry, I made a mistake doing it in the first place. But I won’t stop. We have gone too far, me and you, and there’s no coming back from it, this is done.”
“So you’re done with me right after you sleep with my husband and move him in.”
“I’m not the only guilty one, you reacted, you’ve taken away everything I have. This can’t go on.”
“I have not, you took my husband.” She was still speaking calmly.
“Lets call it even then.” I didn’t know what else to say.
“He’ll be back with me. Physically, intellectually and financially, you two don’t make sense. But, because we have been friends and co workers for so long, I’m going to leave it alone for now, and let it all play out. It’s going to be funny. I mean, seeing someone like Matthew, a successful journalist, with someone like you. He’s obviously recently developed a kink to ditch the women of his standards that he could get, for someone far below his standards. He’s always wanted to feel like the man, being with someone desperate and ugly will really give him that confidence boost he needs from my rejection.”
“I will stop fucking with you, I’ll just wait for it all to implode.”
“Okay.” This was all I could say.
She sauntered out, turning heads.
She looks better than me, that is a fact. There’s a lot more to attraction though than just being tall and skinny with good bone structure, I told myself. Matt had an attraction for me that was animalistic, he couldn’t leave me alone, attraction is heightened when you first start out. I knew that, but this was different, this was like nothing before.
Nina has always put me down in passive aggressive ways, I let it happen, with the gratitude of just being in the room. God, no more. I’m not ugly, I won’t let her tell me that I am.
Of course my stomach tightened and I went into the coffee shop toilets to have a look in the mirror. I had toned down my make up to just the foundation, powder, eyeliner and mascara. I didn’t look bad in my new clothes though. The t-shirt showed off my boobs and the jeans showed the shape of my legs. My hair framed my face, my features a little too big for my face, my eyes and nose a little too big, not exactly as pretty as Nina, but not horrible. I sighed and told myself not to listen to her. I am fine. Not the skinniest, not the prettiest but fine. Matt saw me as more than fine, he thought I was beautiful.
I walked back out and thanked the woman next to me who watched my laptop, I could feel myself spiraling into self doubt.
I bought another latte and told myself that the best thing I can do is make a good episode and grow my following. I could be successful one day, and that would be attractive. I sat daydreaming for a while about making enough money to pay for liposuction and lip fillers, before snapping back into reality and getting on with my work.
That evening I didn’t tell Matt what happened in the coffee shop, when he got home I was in the chair of my office room as I was working. I have been going through things I’ve written to find something to send to publications in the hope of a job and get my life on track.
I had written something that afternoon about women that drag down their female friends’ confidence over time with passive aggression. But I was mainly pissed off I had been snapped out of my happy bubble.
I was buzzing on caffeine and nicotine after I had a secret fag on the balcony once I had got home from the coffee shop. I had covered this up with mouthwash and perfume.
“Hey, what’s going on?” He said leaning against the office door. I was curled up on my office chair with my knees up to my chin. He looked so handsome, he sounded so posh and upper class. Nina’s words spun in my head.
“Just trying to find some places to send some of my writing.”
“Why not your own website?” He asked, I raised my eyebrows at him.
“I don’t know how?”
“There are services online that can make up websites, some of them aren’t that expensive either.”
“I don’t know, if it did shit I would be so ashamed of myself.”
“Just have a think about it.” He said as he came up behind me, taking his suit jacket off and placing it over my shoulder.
I turned my head and gave him a deep kiss. He slid his hands under the jacket, under my t-shit and underneath my bra, playing with my nipples. I slid off the chair and got to my knees.
“I regret covering you up now.”
On my knees in front of him, I slid the jacket off my shoulders slowly. I pulled the t-shirt off and unclipped my bra. My nipples were hard, I pushed my hair back over my shoulders. I stopped caring what anyone ever thought or said about me, I felt pretty right now.
I undid his belt and unzipped his trousers letting them fall. He was straining against his expensive boxers, I pulled them down and let it spring out as I sat on my feet. He let out a breath.
I sat up, pushing his hard on between my full boobs.
“Your tits are incredible.”
I sat back on my knees and sucked until he started pulling on my arm.
“I want to cum inside of you.”
I stood in my jeans, topless. He massaged my boobs and I put my hand through his hair, admiring his stubble and bright blue eyes. I turned, undoing my jeans. I pushed my jeans and thong down, bending over my desk. He ran a hand gently up my back, grabbing onto my hair, pulling my head back. I gasped, wanting. He put his hands between my legs, caressing me with agonisingly gentle strokes, I moaned wanting more.
“You’re teasing me.” I accused, flirtatiously. He guided himself into me slowly, I pushed back, instantly gasping with the friction of how big it was.
“Yeah.” I breathed. He put his hands on either side of my hips, I looked back at him as he started to move slowly, building a speed. I gripped onto the desk and tossed my hair back as he got faster. This made me cry out and we came together.