I Need You To Hate Me

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Our spot. There is only one place that it could be, the place we first kissed.

I take a shower because suddenly I’m feeling extremely nervous. Did Ace have this planned all along? He must have placed the sticky note on my door before we left for the club but why not just ask me when we got back?

I put white sweatpants and a hoodie on because its freaking freezing and I’m not about to turn into an icicle in the middle of the night. The colder months have always been my favourite, something about being cosy and not drenched in your own sweat is comforting.

It’s a about a five-minute walk to the lake. It must be a new moon because there is no light from it to illuminate my path, but I know the exact way.

My eyes travel to the end of the dock where Ace is and my heart flutters inside my chest. He’s lying on a blanket with his hands behind his head, looking up at the sky. Who knew that Ace, the arrogant asshole that I once thought he was, could propose a cute gesture such as this one.

“I didn’t take you for a romantic,” I say when I’m standing in front of him, blocking his view.

He sits up, smiling and grabs my hand, pulling me into his hard chest. I place my knees on either side of him, in a straddling position, “Only for you,” he whispers against my lips and butterflies explode in my stomach.

He finds my lips with his like they were never meant to be apart and the taste of him is intoxicating. It’s only been less than an hour since I last saw him but any time apart from him makes me want him even more.

I lay down next to him, placing my head on his chest. I can hear the soft sound of his heart beating and I run my hands down his arm.

“Is that where you go every weekend? To see Ellie?” I ask him, today’s events feeling so far away.

“Yeah, my mom works almost every weekend.”

“Dad?” I ask in a small voice, pushing my luck. I feel him stiffen underneath me and he lets out a deep breath.

“He disappeared a couple of years ago. He was a piece of shit anyway. A self-centred lawyer who thought the sun shined out of his fucking ass,” he says with bitterness and I’m guessing that’s a touchy subject.

My eyes are mesmerized by the sky, which is scattered with clusters of glimmering stars, better than anything you would ever see in pictures or in fact, better than any imitation at all. Every few seconds a bright point of light moves rapidly across the sky leaving a glowing trail of smoke behind it, that eventually fades away into nothingness.

Something about shooting stars always feels magical, but why? I haven’t figured it out. Maybe it’s the reality of them. The mystery. Or the way everything else becomes so insignificant, the universe is beyond anyone’s conception. But here I am, my eyes glued to the infinite existence of stardust, swirling in a trillion different ways and all I can think about is the how perfect this moment is. Because of him.

I wonder if Ace has the same nostalgic thoughts running through his mind as I do. I turn my head towards his, to get a glimpse of him but his eyes are already on mine. A smile spreads across his mouth which sparks something inside of me. A need for him.

I need him in every single way possible.

I stretch my neck out and kiss him, flicking my tongue over his lips. He opens his mouth and lets me take control. I place my hands on the back of his neck and pull him closer to me, unable to get enough like this is some kind of dream. His mouth begins exploring mine like we have all the time in the world and it’s sparking something inside of me, making my whole body radiate with desire.

He sits up with me in his lap and I push my hips against his. Feeling his hardness against me, I moan into his mouth and his arms tighten around me. My hands travel underneath his shirt and up his body, feeling every single muscle that’s contracting underneath my touch.

We both know what’s coming and I want him more than I have ever wanted anything before.

“There is something I need to tell you,” he says catching his breath and pulling away. I shake my head, I know what he wants to tell me and this is not the time.

“Ace, it doesn’t matter. Nothing you did in the past is going to change my mind about you,” I tell him, placing my hands on either side of his face, making sure he understands.

He closes his eyes as if considering my answer, “Calla…” I love the way he says my name.

“Nothing,” I reassure him and trace the bruises that are forming on his cheekbone from his fight with the pad of my thumb.

“Promise me,” he demands.

“I promise.”

“I can’t fucking lose you,” he tells me, his voice is filled with an emotion that I haven’t heard before from him. Vulnerability?

“I’m not going anywhere.”

With that, his lips are back on mine, this time more demanding like he is putting everything he has into it. He flips me over, laying me down on the blanket beneath him and I pull my hoodie over my head. His eyes scan my body and he sucks in a breath, lowering his mouth onto my neck and sucking gently before whispering, “Fuck, Calla. Do you know how beautiful you are?”

He works his way down my body, kissing every part of me with his perfect mouth and if I didn’t know any better, I would say that my heart is literally about to explode from my chest.

Ace tugs at the waistband of my bands, looking up at me, asking for permission. I nod and he pulls them off, throwing them to the side. The cool air travels across my body but I can’t feel anything except the way he touches me. I feel his hot breath between my legs and he takes my panties in between his teeth, pulling them off too.

I close my eyes and bite my bottom lip in anticipation.

“Look at me,” Ace commands and I open my eyes, my gaze landing on his. My breath hitches in my throat and Ace smirks before lowering his mouth onto me, his eyes not leaving mine. One of his hands holds mine and the other is gripping my thigh, this moment becoming that much more intimate.

“Oh my god,” I breathe when his tongue dips into me and my back arches up. I’ve never felt anything like this before and I’m high on the endorphins.

My head tilts back and all I can see is the cosmos above me. Getting worshipped by Ace’s mouth while watching the stars is pretty freaking amazing and some would say, once in a lifetime opportunity.

Ace moans against me, the sensation sends vibrations through my entire body, “Ace,” I pant his name. His hand tightens around mine, holding me in place while his strokes quicken like he’s writing our names in the damn constellation with his tongue. He’s so good at this.

I can’t hold back the feeling that overtakes me when he sucks gently and I move my hips against his mouth as I come, gasping his name over and over.

He moves back up towards me and takes my face in between his hands, “I love hearing you when you come.”

My hands are on him, rubbing him through the material of his pants. He curses and pins my hands on either side of me, trailing kisses from my jaw to my lips.

“Do you have a cond—” I begin.

“In my wallet. Are you sure about this?” He asks, hesitation present in his voice.

“I want you,” I tell him and he pauses like he’s waiting for me to change my mind. “I want all of you, please,” I say grabbing his face and lowering it back to mine.

Between our kissing, I manage to slide his pants off and he fumbles with his wallet, cursing it when he can’t get the condom out quickly enough. I run my hands down his body and flick my tongue over his neck which seems to get him even more tense.

His body settles in between mine and I can feel him right there. He doesn’t move, he waits for me and I give him a small nod. He slowly pushes into me and my hands are on his back, I dig my nails into him gently, “Fuck,” he curses into my ear as he stays inside me for a moment without moving.

He holds his weight above me and begins moving slowly, savouring every thrust. I run my hands down his chest and down his arms feeling his muscles contracting with every movement. I never thought that sex could feel this good. Or is it just with him? Everything feels good with him.

His eyes are soft and piercing mine, conveying every single unspoken emotion between us. I wrap my legs around his torso and he takes my hand bringing it just above my head and laces his fingers through it, “You feel so good.”

I can feel the connection between us, it’s remarkable how one person can make you feel like this. He increases his pace and his other hand wraps around my waist bringing me even closer to him, making his thrusts deeper.

He runs wet kisses down my neck, my jaw before connecting with my mouth again. His tongue is hot and plays teasingly with mine. He occasionally pulls away, whispering dirty things in my ear, “Fuck baby, you will ruin me.”

I can feel myself getting close again, “Ace,” I moan his name and he knows, he can read every single sign that my body gives him.

“Calla,” he whispers and he lowers his forehead against mine, grunting. I come for the second time tonight, this time with him, trembling against his body and feeling the warmth of his chest as he collapses onto me.

Our breathing is ragged and my fingers trace his back.

“Do you believe in fate?” I ask him when are dressed and I’m lying on his chest again.

“To a certain extent but not everything is defined by fate.”

How ironic. Brody said the exact same thing.

I scrunch up my face at his answer, looking up at him and his mouth turns at the corners.

“Would you like it if I told you that us being here was written in the stars? Predetermined by angels, who wrote the date across the universe in an everlasting constellation?” he asked with amusement present in his tone.

“Hmm yes, I would like to believe in something,” I tell him, a smile playing on my lips.

“You and me, we’re written in the stars,” he says taking my hand and kissing it. I hope he can’t feel my breathing quicken but I’m sure he already knows what he does to me.

We spend hours talking and he opens up to me about his mom and Ellie. He tells me he wants me to meet his mom and I’m instantly apprehensive, not because I don’t want to but I want her to like me. He teases me for my music choice, bringing up Hannah Montana and I tell him that was just a one-time thing.

I remember promising Ace that I wouldn’t fall in love with him. But it’s three am and we are on the deck, laughing too hard and watching the whole universe above us. I feel happy for the first time in a long time because of him. And I know I’m completely and entirely screwed.

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